breakingoutthistime
29-04-08, 13:24
This is somewhat of a hard subject to focus on but cause am agrophobic quite severe am normally not an outdoor person unless its in own premises like garden etc.
So am partly to blame for getting so angry and hot tempered and overwelmed because am unemployed and dont have really have the drive to go out and get harrassed and bothered quickly, by people.
So when am inside feel in control and feel nothing is trying to control me which isnt true when am outside which feel the complete opposite.
The OCD comes into it as alot of the time feel am not able to get the clairty need of things thoughts.
Like some much of the time just spend searching looking for answers that dont exsist or never will exsist.
Like the walls and carpets surrounds of the flat all do is check things over and over and over again with the mind to try and make sense of it.
Like this is a real head **** but look at the carpet pattens and the lino pattens and get so annoyed that there there its like just cant seem to arrange thoughts the way want them there.
It might sound crazy but that is what do constantly which personally think is obsessive.
When start doing the searching thing and begin to question everything am thinking should just say STOP IT and distract mind with a book or tv etc but theres a little part of me that loves to search and connect thoughts organize thoughts.
Sorry if this seems abit confusing or strange but its hard to put into perfect sense.
THIS IS A REVOLUTION OF THE MIND.
So am partly to blame for getting so angry and hot tempered and overwelmed because am unemployed and dont have really have the drive to go out and get harrassed and bothered quickly, by people.
So when am inside feel in control and feel nothing is trying to control me which isnt true when am outside which feel the complete opposite.
The OCD comes into it as alot of the time feel am not able to get the clairty need of things thoughts.
Like some much of the time just spend searching looking for answers that dont exsist or never will exsist.
Like the walls and carpets surrounds of the flat all do is check things over and over and over again with the mind to try and make sense of it.
Like this is a real head **** but look at the carpet pattens and the lino pattens and get so annoyed that there there its like just cant seem to arrange thoughts the way want them there.
It might sound crazy but that is what do constantly which personally think is obsessive.
When start doing the searching thing and begin to question everything am thinking should just say STOP IT and distract mind with a book or tv etc but theres a little part of me that loves to search and connect thoughts organize thoughts.
Sorry if this seems abit confusing or strange but its hard to put into perfect sense.
THIS IS A REVOLUTION OF THE MIND.