That last 15%...

[ams]

As my other posts may show, I've been in a bit of an anxious period lately. It's kind of silly, over the past few months, I've moved through the following self-diagnoses:

ALS
Parkinson's
Heart Problems
Detached Retina
Optic Neuritis
Gilles Charcot Tooth Syndrome
MS

All due to some joint/muscle issues, in the beginning! My podiatrist says high arches, no mention of any underlying neurological issue, and my eyes have been examined and are fine.

But, due to some sensations in my feet/ankles (which weren't appearing when I saw the Dr. originally), I can't quite shake the MS fears. I've had some good days and bad, and today's been a good one, though my right foot started to get the tingly/tight feeling, and I feel the anxiety creeping back, though I spent all morning thinking about how I had been pretty crazy before, and thinking about why this wasn't likely MS, and how I had an MRI of my head for other reasons 4 or 5 years ago, and the Dr. didn't mention seeing anything then...

I feel as though I'm almost past this (and that my symptoms were certainly lessened this morning when I was feeling more relaxed and myself), but I can't quite get over the hump. Each time I've almost been there and had a few good and normal days, I notice something new that drags me back into the anxiety abyss.

Any advice on getting past that last hill? Usually, a clean bill of health from the Dr. settles me down, but I can't help but feel as though I didn't tell him about something, or should mention these new symptoms, though I'm pretty sure I know just what he'd say. So how, short of another Dr. appointment that I probably don't need (and subsequent annoyance of a guy who just told me I was fine), can I get past this? I'm almost there, and looking for suggestions!

Thanks!
A

[Charlottie]

I know what you mean about the doctors. At first I'll settle down because the doctor's told me I'm fine. And then I'l start thinking I missed something out thats vitally important. It's a horrible feeling. :( Sorry I'm no help just wanted you to know you're not the only one.

[ams]

Boy, this has been a roller coaster. Everytime I think I'm back on track, the littlest thing tosses me back into anxiety. It's never too bad...I've never had a panic attack, can get along with work/school without any major trouble, and still have a social/love life, but it's amazing how easy it is to let health anxiety subconsciously crowd the mind. After weeks of feeling okay, I'm back to worrying about MS, Charcot Marie Tooth (which I remembered incorrectly above), etc. and all of the electric shock feelings, flashes in vision, etc. are back with a vengance. I know I'm likely just anxious and tense, and that there's no real reason to believe that any of this anything dark or horrible, but it's just plain crazy how simple it can be to get myself back into the cycle of worry. The fact that all of my symptoms have come and gone over the past few months, and that I've had days of complete relaxation regarding all of it (as recently as two days ago?!?!) comfort me, as well as the idea that much of this is nothing I would've worried about were health anxiety not in the back of my mind...but that doesn't make it any easier to dissuade myself sometimes.

It just seems so obvious, and it's almost laughable that I can go from being sure I have one disorder one day to a completely different one the next. The idea that any horrible condition might have sprung up during this period of waxing/waning anxiety is so unlikely, but I can't completely convince myself to believe it, not when there's muscle atrophy, weakness, tingling/buzzing, pain, vision problems, balance issues, and differences in speech to worry about/focus on/cause(?)...

I know this is really long, and these problems are likely run-of-the-mill in this forum, but I needed to vent, and some encouragement might be helpful...that reassurance that we all are so good at providing for others but not for ourselves...

A

[befuddled1]

it's amazing how easy it is to let health anxiety subconsciously crowd the mind. A

Hi A,
I find your posts quite reassuring as am quite new to health anxiety of this sort myself and it's good to know that others who have had it longer have generally found that their symptoms are not something to worry about. I too have muscular symptoms and worry about MS. Coincidentally (!!??) I did some learning on MS on my course recently.
I'm not sure how to offer you reassurance but what you say is right (see above). And these things do seem to go in cycles that are impossible to get out of. Just be reassured that you have been here before and then felt better and it is highly likely this is how it will work again. Brains are incredible, in the way they do so much without us really playing a role in this. Just as seeing a certain thing can suddenly remind you of something you had long forgotten (without you making any effort to make this connection) so too it must happen that certain triggers bring up anxious thoughts (without your conscious approval!) I don't know if I've said that in a way that makes sense?! But I hope you find reassurance in some way.
Beth

[befuddled1]

P.S. I have pains in my fingers tonight. Same finger each hand. V. weird. Trying to ignore it! :whistles:

[veebee]

Hi

I have pains in my fingers too - same finger each hand. I am worried about MS too and this was one of the things that started it all off for me. Have been told by GPs and my neurologist that its unlikely I have MS and I'm waiting on MRI for my peace of mind. When I told my GP about the finger thing he wasn't worried at all - said that it was good that symptoms were symmetrical as that didn't indicate MS at all! His theory was anxiety. I actually saw the GP the other day and mentioned that my fingers still felt stiff and he suggested that maybe my beta blockers were doing it - he thought my hands felt a bit colder than they should have done. Beta blockers can have side effects, one of which is that they aren't great for people who don't have particularly good circulation, which is something that's always been a bit of a bother for me.

I really feel for you - know exactly what you are going through. Try to keep positive - I have good and bad days too, but I'm trying to just accept the bad days and think that tomorrow will be better. I'm also trying to ignore any symptoms that I have - my left hand has been a bit tingly from time to time, and when I ignore it, it really does go away. There's no way I'm letting that back to bother me!

[befuddled1]

There's no way I'm letting that back to bother me!

Go veebee! that's the sort of attitude that will get you through!
Thanks for the info re finger name, v helpful to know what your GP thought about it with regards to MS.
Beth

[befuddled1]

:doh: oops, i meant finger pain, oh dear is this writing-the-wrong-word thing a symptom!?