thirtysomething
03-04-05, 22:07
I am beginning to wonder if I have something a bit more serious than social anxiety. I had 18 months of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, 7 years of Transactional Analysis (individual and group) and a few weekend courses. I feel that nothing has changed deep down for me. I think at best I’ve ended up better able to cope in certain situations but without being able to trust people or relate to them. I get very anxious in new situations and in social situations. I find very hard to start any kind of friendship.
I must have had these problems at least since I was 5 because I remember feeling on my own from my first day at school. I had 2 friends before that but they did n’t start school at the same time as me (they must have been a couple of months younger), and soon afterwards moved away.
As I got older I remember getting pressure from parents and teachers to mix with other children and make friends. Just placing myself in a social situation never worked. I always felt uncomfortable, sometimes I felt I disliked the people I was with but then when I was on my own I would feel lonely.
When I was 15 I was obsessed with coming top in all my subjects and I felt very guilty about sex but I desperately wanted to talk to girls. I ended up self-harming but although this was noticed and I saw the doctor I was never given any counselling. I carried on self-harming until I was 21.
I was persuaded to go away to university because everyone seemed to think it would help me. Actually I dropped out after a year. I did n’t eat properly, got very anxious and depressed, and ended up with irritable bowel syndrome and need to shower every day (which I still have).
After the CBT did n’t work I was refered on to another therapist. As there was a 5 month waiting list I went to an evening class on assertiveness. When I was finally assessed by the new therapist I was told I was helping myself so I could n’t have further therapy.
When I was having a bad time at work I went back to my doctor but she refused me any help. It was after that I tried Transactional Analysis.
This was over 10 years ago now. I am wondering if whether I should ask the doctor again for a referral to a consultant so at least I can get a proper diagnosis. I would really appreciate any advice on how to bring this up with the doctor (it’s a bit diffilcut to explain my problems in 5 minutes!)
Thanks.
Thirtysomething
I must have had these problems at least since I was 5 because I remember feeling on my own from my first day at school. I had 2 friends before that but they did n’t start school at the same time as me (they must have been a couple of months younger), and soon afterwards moved away.
As I got older I remember getting pressure from parents and teachers to mix with other children and make friends. Just placing myself in a social situation never worked. I always felt uncomfortable, sometimes I felt I disliked the people I was with but then when I was on my own I would feel lonely.
When I was 15 I was obsessed with coming top in all my subjects and I felt very guilty about sex but I desperately wanted to talk to girls. I ended up self-harming but although this was noticed and I saw the doctor I was never given any counselling. I carried on self-harming until I was 21.
I was persuaded to go away to university because everyone seemed to think it would help me. Actually I dropped out after a year. I did n’t eat properly, got very anxious and depressed, and ended up with irritable bowel syndrome and need to shower every day (which I still have).
After the CBT did n’t work I was refered on to another therapist. As there was a 5 month waiting list I went to an evening class on assertiveness. When I was finally assessed by the new therapist I was told I was helping myself so I could n’t have further therapy.
When I was having a bad time at work I went back to my doctor but she refused me any help. It was after that I tried Transactional Analysis.
This was over 10 years ago now. I am wondering if whether I should ask the doctor again for a referral to a consultant so at least I can get a proper diagnosis. I would really appreciate any advice on how to bring this up with the doctor (it’s a bit diffilcut to explain my problems in 5 minutes!)
Thanks.
Thirtysomething