Social Anxiety or Something Else

[thirtysomething]

I am beginning to wonder if I have something a bit more serious than social anxiety. I had 18 months of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, 7 years of Transactional Analysis (individual and group) and a few weekend courses. I feel that nothing has changed deep down for me. I think at best I’ve ended up better able to cope in certain situations but without being able to trust people or relate to them. I get very anxious in new situations and in social situations. I find very hard to start any kind of friendship.

I must have had these problems at least since I was 5 because I remember feeling on my own from my first day at school. I had 2 friends before that but they did n’t start school at the same time as me (they must have been a couple of months younger), and soon afterwards moved away.

As I got older I remember getting pressure from parents and teachers to mix with other children and make friends. Just placing myself in a social situation never worked. I always felt uncomfortable, sometimes I felt I disliked the people I was with but then when I was on my own I would feel lonely.

When I was 15 I was obsessed with coming top in all my subjects and I felt very guilty about sex but I desperately wanted to talk to girls. I ended up self-harming but although this was noticed and I saw the doctor I was never given any counselling. I carried on self-harming until I was 21.

I was persuaded to go away to university because everyone seemed to think it would help me. Actually I dropped out after a year. I did n’t eat properly, got very anxious and depressed, and ended up with irritable bowel syndrome and need to shower every day (which I still have).

After the CBT did n’t work I was refered on to another therapist. As there was a 5 month waiting list I went to an evening class on assertiveness. When I was finally assessed by the new therapist I was told I was helping myself so I could n’t have further therapy.

When I was having a bad time at work I went back to my doctor but she refused me any help. It was after that I tried Transactional Analysis.

This was over 10 years ago now. I am wondering if whether I should ask the doctor again for a referral to a consultant so at least I can get a proper diagnosis. I would really appreciate any advice on how to bring this up with the doctor (it’s a bit diffilcut to explain my problems in 5 minutes!)

Thanks.


Thirtysomething

[sal]

Hi

You have had a lot of help and still dont seem to feel a lot better, but that doesnt mean it wont get better.

You say you have found it hard making friends since you were young, but on this site you are talking which in turn could lead to friendships. You are not totally cutting yourself out of society. Keep talking on here and you will maybe soon be able to call someone from here and start a friendship that way. It isnt easy but you are trying and recognise how hard you find it.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[seh1980]

hello Thirty,

As Sal says, you coming in here proves that you do want contact with other people. Come into the chatroom as often as you can, even if you don't say much, you can listen and join in when you feel confortable enough to do so.
It seems like you do have social anxiety, nothing more. It can be very hard as you feel cut off from the world. Hopefully, gaining confidence on here will help you with person-to-person situations in your everyday life.

Sarah :D