so nervous about seeing psychiatrist, a cry for help! UPDATE

[popsy]

:weep: i have finally got my appointment tomorrow with psychiatrist to review med's which arent working..... im so nervous though as i havent been out the house properly in a while and i know im going to have huge panic attacks, as i have them just being in the house!!!!!! ive got to go though as i cant go on like this and my partner had fought for this appointment to be brought forward! im petrified as the appointment is an hour and a half, how on earth am i going to be able to stay in the room that long????
im scared they will change my meds which arent working and i'll have to come off seroxat and the side effects are horrendous, and then they'll put me on something that might not even work anyway!!!! im so confused, so scared, so depressed, i cant see a future for me at the moment. im not me anymore......
My partner although he doesnt admit it is so stressed with having to work full time, being late into work to take the kids to school having to leave early to collect them and letting important people down at work (he has a very stressful job) he even looked tearful as he left me alone today as i was crying. My mum's blood pressure has gone through the roof as she is so worried about me, i feel like im the cause of so much misery at the moment! Everyone says no your not, but i know i am...
My 4 and 6 year old are always asking why mummys crying all the time, it must be effecting them surely???
Everyway i turn im worried, worried, worried.....
People must be getting sick of me by now...... HELP please :weep:
C x

[Pink Panic]

Hi Popsy,

Firstly, look at this as the first stage of getting better. You are going to see someone who hopefully knows all the answers and who can help you. I know i used to dread going to see my Psych but he's actually a really nice fella who takes time to listen and i hope yours is too. :hugs:
You are still you please believe me. I know that i sat and cried all day once when i came across a pic of myself and my 2 girls before i started suffering as i just wanted to be that person again. I remember my CPN saying that person is still here she's just not around at the mo but as you get better that happy, capable, independent person will come back and slowly but surely with a few blips along the way she is and that will happen to you too. :hugs:
Yes, your partner and Mum and family will all be worried about you but after you see the Psych tomorrow perhaps everything will appear clearer as you will then know how you are going to be treated with regards to Meds etc, and you can then work on that which will hopefully not only ease the tension for yourself but also your nearest and dearest.
Your kiddies know you love them and at that age they are very resiliant so don't worry too much hun. :hugs:
I know how you are feeling about leaving the house as i have to go for my CBT tomorrow and as my partner is away i have to take a taxi which i'm dreading. I did try to change the appointment but my therapist says that she wants to help me and if i want the help i have to get there. She also said that going when i'm in a panic is good as then we can deal with it as it happens! :ohmy: We will both be ok and the thought of it is prob going to be worse that the actual going.

And lastly .... no-one is sick of you so get that idea out of your head right away and that's an order. :mad:

Hope this helps. Let me know how you get on pls.

Love & hugs
Pink
xxx:hugs:

[milly jones]

hi charlie,
weve spoken before.

my psychiatrist upped my 'new' meds yesterday and we had a good chat. it is very difficult opening up each time to these different professionals, but their job is to make u feel at ease as they only want to help u.

whatever happens will be ultimately for the good of ur family and urself at the end of the day.
Good luck hun, take someone to support u and a bottle of water, (and i take plenty of tissues too!)

let us know how u get on,

lots of love mill xxxxxxxxxxx

[neptuno]

Hello Charlie,
This is a really tough time for all of you isn't it ? I think you've made a very important positive step forward by getting this appointment to talk and sort out your meds. So well done. Try not to think about leaving the house or the journey there - imagine sitting in your favourite place at home and having that same feeling when you get there - forget about the bit inbetween. Explain your worries about coming off or changing meds, write down everything you want to say so that you don't leave wondering what happened ! I can tell you are much stronger than you think you are - everyone is allowed off days, no need to feel guilty about them, accept them for what they are - tomorrow's going to be a great day. Keep saying it to yourself.
be kind to yourself

[mandie]

Hi Charlie

good luck for tommorow, this is your chance to say how u feel etc.

You will be fine, please think positive, easier said i know, but its the start of good things for you

take care and good luck.

love mandie x

[whitbywitchuk]

Hi hon,
I am new and I know how horrible you feel. Later on I was told that if I had put a paper bag over my mouth it would help with the symptoms as you have trouble regulating your breathing when you are panicking, wow wish I had known that in the early 80's.
I am on Seroxat and I can understand your concerns about possible change, how long you been on them though? They don't sound like they are working for you so I am sure the doc will have a reason for you.
Try and get a reason for your panic, ask them if it is anything physiological I find that once in the mental health system they don't bother checking for other reasons for example mercury overload, thyroid, hypoglycemia etc. I aren't saying they are your problems but I am saying are they going to investigate you any further if they have not already hun.

Good luck, and God bless

Dawnx

[popsy]

Thanks for all your replys, soooooo scared today, as today is the day! Called the clinic to see if the Psychiatrist will come out and see me instead of me going there, the receptionist said she would call me back but she sounded doubtful, im panicing so much but at the same time i really really need to see this woman, but i so scared of going there....

[popsy]

...as i suspected i have to go there. I am determined to go though, the psychistrist called me and she did sound very nice. I know i will be hugely panicy so i have typed out a sheet of notes of exactly how im feeling to give her, so i can at least get my points across in some way. Thanks for all your pm's wishing me support and luck, you guys are very special people. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

[clair7]

good luck popsy, i can understand how you're feeling but your're making all the right steps towards recovery. my mum wants me to see a psychotherapist but im not sure if it will work for me-feel like am beyond help lol!!
Anyway, hope all goes well.
Take care hun

[popsy]

Update: Thanks to everyone again for their messages of support and pm's i love ya all!
Appointment went fine in the end yesterday and psychistrist was lovely :), never been so scared about getting somewhere but partner just chucked me in the car and drove!!!!
We decided i would be put up onto the top dose of seroxat 60mg, for two weeks if i have no improvement then i will start being weaned down onto something else. The 20mg jump (i was on 40mg) i assume has made me feel very light headed today and shakey, but im just trying to go with the flow and not get upset about it. She did make me feel more positive yesterday but im feeling abit sadder today, but i suppose thats only to be expected. Im praying with all my heart that this works and i dont have to start weaning down as i know how awful that will be!
Apparently, she thinks my set backs and depression have been caused by me desperately trying to get better too quickly and ive got to give myself more time, if i could just have a little break sometimes for the consistant anxiety i know it would help, so im trying some reflexology next week, which ive heard can really really relax you.
Speak soon to all and thank you again, i dont know what i would do without this forum and you all at the moment! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[mandie]

Hi Charlie

Glad things went ok for u.

Heres hoping things start to get better for you.

:hugs: mandie x