fed up of (im dying fear) who can i see?

[bexy1970]

hiya,
i live every day thinking ive got cancer of somewhwere, and im going to die and leave my kids and get so scared that the world going to carry on and i wont be here, so scared of being told ive got cancer etc.. know this is a common fear on here but i just want it to go.. used to get it years ago badly but got betta, remember i used to be convinced i was going to dye when i was young too. think that maybe down to a violent stepfather who used to threaten me with kingdom come when he was hitting me,i get referred to my cpn with my anxiety, when i go to docs but to be honest i havnt really told him the extent of my fear case they dont take me seriosly when im ill( if you know what i mean) tho he is a lovely doc and has been great with me since my nerves bad after dad died which is what has triggered all this up again! he died from lung cancer suddenly(my biggest fear!) dont know who i ask him to be reffered to as my cpn just says i worry to much!! sorry for rambling im just so fed up of bein like this.silly things like my back and tummy aching and i did a likkle dribble!! when i coughed, instead of thinking, hey, i was lugging 10ltr bags of compost and bags of stone last weekend!! ( i was ) my oh just laughed and said your gettin on babe!!(nicely) know hes right, it think oh god ive got, back, kidney, bladder cancer!!!
becca xxx

[jellybean43]

Hi
Aww I am soo sorry you are feeling like this---I know that feeling only too well!
Firstly, as I have learnt from this wonderful forum that it is anxiety you are suffering. It is a horrid thing as i well know.
I have been back to my GP after fearing, like yourself that I have the dreaded C word!!I have had 3 docs check me out and blood tests and X ray!!!I still was not convinced til i came on here for support.
I am now being referred for conselling and I wonder if that may help you?
I am also a mum of grown up kids and yes, that is everyones worry that you will leave your kids but you have to try and accept you have anxiety and not what you are thinking it is!!!
I also have "leaked" when i cough etc and think the worst but hey when i ask around most of us ladies do do that LOL!!!
Try and chill out a little and PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS(not saying you do but it is the worse thing you can do!!).
Try not to read any papers or mags that contain health stuff---as one lovely person on here advised me not to do and yes that is working for me!!Plus dont watch any health programmes. All this just fuels your anxiety.
A trip to the docs to ask for some counselling may just help you.
xxxx

[kellie]

i live every day thinking ive got cancer of somewhwere, and im going to die and leave my kids and get so scared that the world going to carry on and i wont be here, so scared of being told ive got cancer etc
hiya hun this is exactly how i felt a year ago and then i found nmp. dont get me wrong i still have days when my anx is high and thats all i can think about ( cancer/death/my kids/world carrying on).i truely understand ur fear and they way it can make you feel. my anx causes me to get the lump in the throat symptom and i still get convince by this that i have throat cancer. im here if you wanna talk you can pm me anytime. plz pl z dont google it make you so much worse.
best wishes to you hun
take care:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxx
ps talk to ur doc about cbt theropy to help change ur thinking.

[bexy1970]

thank you so much you 2, i know its anxiety but it drives me mad!! i just cant enjoy life like i want to and used to cos i think wots the point case i find a lump etc tomoz!!! goin to ask doc bout some sort of cbt hope he agrees! can doc do this or does my cpn have to? can neva get in with her as i work days she does clinic!! xx

[Joe1981]

I think feeling and thinking this way is very common for people like us who suffer from anxiety.. We just need to convince ourself that we are NOT going to die no matter how scary these symptoms are at the time..

I'm sure i've convinced myself i was going to die over 100 times in the past 2 years lol and guess what? I'm still here..

Just talk to your doctor and i;m sure he or she will help you out or just try to convince yourself that its all out evil friend anxiety...

Hope you feel better soon!

[aliciajane]

Hello Becca!
I know exactly what your going through. I'm 16, but I still keep worrying about dying, getting cancer, or getting ill.
Over the last six months I've though I have lung cancer, mouth cancer, throat cancer, stomach cancer, ovarian cancer when I feel fit and healthy.
I end up obsessing over every little health thing, and it's so fustrating.
Accepting my panic attacks and anxiety was the first step, and understanding that I do worry too much.
Talking about it though is what will help you the most.
I have private CBT (the NHS waiting list is annoyingly long) and it does me the world of good. And when I can't speak to my phycologist I talk to someone in my family about my fears and concerns, it always helps me and calms me down.
When your in the worst spots and you feel really bad, the best thing to do is to distract yourself. Calm yourself down, then read a book, watch TV or anything else that takes your fancy. When your mind isn't going 1000 miles an hour, you forget about your symptoms. At least for while anyway.
As someone said before, avoid googling or looking up health related things on the internet completely. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and none of that does any good. Thanks to the internet I've thought that I'm dying on several occasions, but after seeing the Doctor I've found out I'm fine.
The only person who can diagnose you and tell you your situation is the Doctor, not the internet.
I've banned myself from googling, and it helps a lot.
Take care honey, and best wishes

xax

[bexy1970]

thanks alicia,
i know, the doc gave me a proper breast examination as i do have a large lump on my boob and a few hard little ones, and he said absolutlly nothing to worry about! but i come home and look on net and then dont believe what doc said!! daft isnt it!! xx

[Emira7]

Hey

I know what your saying I hav days when I feel like that, they used to be all the time but just lately they are less frequent.
Quite often an event triggers the Health Anxiety and we all find ourselves reliving the same fears about death.
I have banned myself from google, medical books, and am also careful about buying magazines as i know there are some really flippant scare mongering articles on there.

I had a violent stepfather as well, and I think alot of my problems stem from an unhappy childhood. PM if you ever want to talk

And big hugs to you
xx

[BKF1515]

I've had a fear of dying too just over the last year. Major fear of leaving my small children and imagining them growing up without me. It's true, I also keep reliving the same fears of dying when I hit a bad patch, less often now since I've been exercising and trying to chill out, but they do still occur.

The weird thing is that I also had a violent/dysfunctional stepfather growing up--hadn't really thought about it but maybe there is a connection there....

Hang in there,
BKF1515

[bexy1970]

thaks everyone,
im goin to docs later bout getting to see someone bout this, been thinking of how i used to be convinced i was goin to heaven as a kid!! so think theres a lot i need to get of my chest!! xxx

[miss diagnosis]

bexy thank you for your post.it made me feel much better to know i wasnt the only one.My dad died of cancer too (stomach) and i have been like this ever since then.
I also have a young son and im so worried about something happening that its ruining my life.

maybe its cos we know what it feels like losing a parent and we dont want our kids to suffer that we constatly worry like this. it seems to be a common occurence from talking to people in here that health anxiety crops up after death of a close relative.

[dumpling]

Hi Bex,

I know my anxiety stems from my parents divorce when I was a child, I have a terrible fear of dying cos it's about the only thing you can't control, when I was pregnant with my son, I was 18 and absolutely terrified, I couldn't even cross a road without fear of getting run over!!

When I dot my dizzies three years ago, I was convinced I had MS, and the fear that I would end up relying on my son as I was going to be blind and wheel chair bound in a couple of years was taking over my life.

I went to see our counsellor at our local surgery, she helped me enormously, she helped me see that my fear was not irrational as most people said, and how to cope with it.

Maybe you should try and see a counsellor? I still think about meone dying, but I don't dwell on it for long. We have a roofing business and if its windy I try my hardest to keep my son off of the roofs in case he gets blown off!