Attack! Attack!

[gary_2.0]

This is a rare event for me - thankfully. I'm in the process of having a panic attack at this very moment. I say rare because I'm careful not to put myself into situations that might trigger one. As most of us know this is how anxiety can mutate into agoraphobia, although I think I have a number of other contributing factors actually.

I really have no idea how to deal with this. It's all I can do to type. I can't really move otherwise because I'm rooted to spot with fear. Fear of what? F**k knows! It's illogical I'm aware of this. I'm also aware of the chemical process that';s going on right now and despite being able to think clearly even during moments of stress - if I'm alone that is as I am now. It's ironic that were there to be a real crisis, for example the house were on fire I know I'd be able to organise myself and others. But that's the overall problem I suppose isn't? It's the fact that I am experiencing panic but there is no way in which I can resolve the crisis. Because there isn't one. No Crisis in sight. If I had a mind to and could move from this spot I might even look to see if it had dropped down the back of the sofa. That's where everything else ends up.

I don't have any techniques for dealing with this other than getting my thoughts down in print. I used to flee back to my car in the early days of this condition and write. I always made sure I had pencil and paper, a drink, some sort of snack, pills for my migraine and various others bits and pieces that would cover me for all possible eventualities.

So that's it. I'm just riding this one through and typing and trying to distract myself but I have no techniques as I said before. The only 'Professional' help I've received other than from my GP and Psychiatrist which I had some while ago due to depression has been, in my view, somewhat lacking. Well meaning but basic. I'm being diplomatic here. I don't know why. Youngsters fresh out of college have nothing to teach me that I don't already know thank you. Sitting there while they go through their text book example of how to deal with a sufferer is not my view of moving things forward. Anyone who lives in the Gosport area will know the place I'm talking about I'm sure and I wonder if they've had similar experiences? I'd be interested to know. Let me add that I'm not the type to be dismissive of help. If there is an opportunity, an option to explore I will make sure I give it my full attention but frankly the local help is p*ss poor. If I'm sat there thinking to myself, "No that's not how you do it", or "Is your Mum coming to collect you dear, does she know where you are?", or "Come on let's move up a gear or two shall we? Stop idling and get moving".

Impatient I am not but I can easily differentiate between te wise and the mere willing and not very able.

OK, so maybe I'm rambling a bit here I'm not too sure. As I said before I just rtyint o get all my thought in print in an effect to distract me from what's really going, or that nothing is going on in fact.

Well done if you've made it down this far and thanks for reading. I'm going to have to lie down now I think because I'm not really feeling much better and this is turning into a bloody novel and well I don't know what else but the rhythm of the text would be uneven if I didn't add a third condition. See? Rambling!

I'll check back later and probably think. "Oh bloody hell I didn't say that did I". C'est la vie.

Not time for spelling or grammar check here either. Sorry about that. I'll be ok in a while no doubt but this is something I had to do. Now I must lie down, it's not getting any better.

[kazzie]

I hope it passes soon Gary:hugs:

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[thevoicewithinme]

Hey Gary, not much I can do from here I know, but maybe knowing that there are people out there, like me, who know exactly how and what you are feeling right now, helps, I know it does me...oh and as for rambling...don't worry about it...I am the queen of all ramblers I will have you know :D

I find that when I have an attack, I usually throw myself into housework :wacko: even if it's already been done, sad eh? Or sometimes, but not often, I too sit rooted to the spot, somehow afraid that if I move, it's going to make it worse, when of course we know deep down that it won't.

Today I kind of freaked out because it was hot outside this morning, silly huh? Now, I have gotten over that, but am now feeling like I am dreaming, everything around me feels kind of strange, as if I am not really here, but I am, or else I wouldn't be typing this....see what I mean about rambling? lol

Anyway, just wanted to let you know, that even though you are having a rough time right now, you aren't alone, I/we are here, albeit just words on your computer screen, but those words were typed by someone who truly understands.

Kaz (Queen of the Ramblers)

:hugs:

[Hope 2]

Hey Gary :D

Like Kaz said , you are not alone matey . I don't have panic attacks as such just all consuming episodes of terror and fear without the physical stuff in the main .
I have a dear friend who suffers like you without knowing why so I can relate to that one ........ wish I had answer for you both , but I don't . What I do have is time and patience for anyone who needs it , including you .

Let us all know how u r getting on Gary
Hope xx

[Tricky Tree]

Hi Gary

Hope that the panic has subsided for a bit.

I had my first attack about 6 years ago at an away footy match with my lad.

No idea what was causing it - and still dont to this day.

Initial doctors presciption of tablets were merely muscle relaxants and I didnt find the doctor particularly helpful or understanding.

When these didnt work, went back and ended up on Paroxetene (or Seroxat as you may know it).

After an initial 2 weeks of hell in build up, I got my life back on track. I was at the point where I couldnt even go to the shop without feeling very uneasy.

Thankfully, work were understanding and I was able to get back into that within about a month.

Built up to 30mg a day - which is high, but not astronomical.

Felt great for the most part, however had some downs when the fear returns.

Had some downs and went to see a counsellor that the GP recommended (theres more than one locally wherever you are). That seemed to work ok, but seemed a short term fix rather than a long term cure.

So I went on the upward curve again for a while but at the time of writing Im back down there again.

This afternoon Im going to try something new - Im going to see a hypnotherapist.

My issues seem to be related to meetings - especially ones at customers premises rather than the work premises. And I have to do these very regularly.

I seem to be worst in the build up to the meeting, and once in and underway Im ok again.

Its almost "fear of the fear".

What would I recommend? Try things.

Prescription drugs - sod it - Id rather not have to take them, but if they make me feel better I will take just about anything within reason.

Dr Bachs rescue remedy - Very little bottle from Holland & Barrett. Few drops on your tongue - can just take the edge off. Herbal. Very little bit of alcohol in it. Worth trying.

Beta Blockers - prescribed alongside my main medicine. Taken about an hour before something you know is going to be stressful can help. Doesnt take away the panic, but helps with the overheating and sweating issue you can get as a side effect.

Bottles of water. I only drink water now. Tea and coffee are out. Caffeine in them which gets you buzzing. I need calm, not buzzing!!

Exercise - easier said than done. Im going to make a conscious effort. Positive endorphins and all that jazz. Worth a go.

Hope you are feeling better as you read this.

You are not losing the plot - although it may feel like it.

Seek some help - if your GP isnt being helpful, ask to see a different one within the practice. I have found the female ones to be more understanding than the male ones, although obviously each will vary.

Im seeing the hypno woman at 3pm. Today is supposed to be just a meet and greet, but I will report back with anything that may be helpful.

Cheers

[FreeFalling]

Hi Gary,

As I read your post I could almost feel everything as it describes what goes on in my head ( and body ) when I'm having one.

I hope it has passed and that you are feeling better at this time.

Know you are not alone with this.

Take good care,

~Rebecca

[KEVKEV]

I am new to the panic attack thing. As i research i find i had symptoms for a long time. i have to carry a hunded things around with me to make sure i am pre-pared. when i go to work i carry tissue paper because i started panicking when i was in a meeting and i had a runny nose. i am 26 i never even thought it might be related. but hearing about you and the car makes me think i carry a lot of nonsense in the car just in case . just to preventmysefl from being worried. my doctors have so far just told me i am having panic attacks and given me diazepan. they have not recomended any other long term support or help. i left work just yesterday in a panic because of a forgotten meeting i had which sent me in a spiral. the jod doesn´t know. it´s been happening to me for a year now. physical and mentol problems and i am only on the tip of the ice berg connecting the dots. i mean finding problems i had i didn´t assume could be related. like fear of going places.i have had that for since my teens.aynway. i feel like i can´t go back to the job. it is a big trigger. i teach english in a catholic school in spain and i speak very little spanish and i am not spanish. so the stress level goes through the roof when i have a meeting . well if soembody reaqds this. cheers and good luck witht the attack. i can also write when i have mildre symptoms. i like to hide in the bathroom toilet and try to avoid situations by telling peole i have tummy flu which i somtimes do. i have to go to the toilet all the time man. so you are lucky with the car. you have a bad day no. kevkev

[Pixel]

i have had terrible panic attacks like you are having and i ordered this cd from america its called think right now dissolving panic. I found it really helps its not hypnosis its just a woman repeating reassuring messages. you can listen to it when you sleep too. Ive been listening to it for about two months now and i still get panic attacks but i quickly calm down and carry on with my life. i had one earlier cos i thought i was swallowing my tongue(really irrational i know but real at the time) and i just thought i know theres nothing wrong and it just stopped. A few months ago if i had a panic attack it would last at least 10 mins and i'd be practically dialling 999 for an ambulance, but im much calmer since using this. they've got a site i dono the name but if you just type in think right now it comes up. Hope this helps.

[Hope 2]

Hey Gary :D

How are you feeling now mate ? Maybe you are still catching Zzzzzz's eh :)

Hope yr okay chuck
Cheerio
Hope xx

[gary_2.0]

Thanks to everyone for your kind and considerate comments. I hope you will excuse me if I don't comment myself on all the points raised. Not just at the moment at least. I would normally but I still feel 'fragile' today, if that's the word I'm looking for.

The worst of it has gone - the actual big attack scenario. At the moment I have this general background anxiety. Not at all good but could be worse. I've actually had several days of feeling really very good since finding this forum and all the great people here so maybe it's a build up of several things that were pushed into the background. Whatever.

I'm aware of what's happening to me on a technical and biological level and that prevents me from placing an extra layer of panic or confussion on top of the actual condition. This helps considerably from what I can tell of other people's experiences. Especially that of my Father, god bless him, who never was able to benefit from such an analytical perspective. He really did suffer very badly indeed so it's a comfort to me that I've gained this evolutionary grasp on things. Otherwise I think I should be living in a similar hell rather than commuting in and out of damnation.

I can deal with it. It ain't fun, but I can at least distract myself a little by working on various things today I think.

Georgous weather down south. As much as I'd like to be out in, it's still great to have the healing potential of the sun's rays burting through the windows.

Thanks again for everyone's helpful posts. It does help :)

[Hope 2]

Hey Gary :D

Glad to hear things have settled a fair bit for yah . You got the right attitude that's for sure about how u approach things . Take it easy for a few days eh . I agree about the sun , it helps don't it eh :yesyes:

Toodle Pip
Hope xx

[gary_2.0]

Thanks Hope :)

Truism though it might be, I like your sig.

[gary_2.0]

Today I seem to be back to what passes for normal. The wake of the panic has finally given way to relative calm again. Thanks again to everyone for the helpful words and comments.