Husband gone on holiday..

[belle]

..he's just left and i am really upset/panicky/scared. Its 4am in the morning and i have to get up for work and get my son to school in a couple of hours, i am going to feel exhausted.

I've been on my own for the odd night, but not for any length of time since Jan 2007. I am not looking forward to this...

:(

[xBettyBoopx]

Dear Bluebell

I understand your anxiety of being alone. I can only tell ya that I was once like that, now I live on my own and wouldn't have if any other way. It's what you get used too. You have everybody here for ya, if u need, I'm always here late at nite/early hours of the morning, so feel free to pm me any time. You will absolutely be ok, but I know what you're going thru.

You will be alright, trust me. Do everything you can to take your mind off it, get as much sleep as you can cause tiredness will make you more vunerable.

Remember we're all here for you.

Sending angels to watch over you whilst your hubby is on holiday + the rest of your life.

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/inspirational-christmas-stories-the-littlest-angel-2.jpg

Take care and take heart.

Love

Elspeth

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: yeah me too bluebell, im thinking of you, becaus this is really hard i know. i have never ever coped with being alone when my husband has had to do something, but atleast you are going to do it!!!! you know that i think the thngs you say and the way you feel are totally tied into how we are? youve already said you are not going to like this, so already you have 'primed' yourself to feel like this? - but i think its because you are in place mentally that cant stop 'feeling' like that. you really do have to believe it before you can feel you can cope and its abit of a catch 22 because you also have to do things you dont like to start to get the confidence:wacko:

all i know is that if you have lived along time with agoraphobia you are STRONG!!!! but you use your strength against yourself instead of for yourself? its how to unlock how you feel an dturn it all around that is sooooo hard to figure out, i know!!!!

we are here for you bluebell so you can figure this out and move on from this horrible place - it can be done:hugs:keep posting and hopefully we can all help you through, but youll be 'doing' it bluebell, nobody else1 so when its over give yourself the credit you deserve - i know you havent got a choice because your husband wont be dictated to but i wouldnt 'allow' my husband this freedom so i wouldnt get to see just exactly i could cope with, and i think thats even worse? youve got the perfect opportunity now to go it alone and to see just exactly what you can do if you treat yourself kindly, take care, emma:hugs: :flowers:

[belle]

My husband got up at 3 and left at 3.30am...i've been UP and AWAKE since then! He's called me and his flight was on time and he got there okay. Now he's in a different country :(

I've been on my own many many times, in fact, for 3 years he lived in Sheffield which is 200 miles from me. We only saw each other once every 2 - 3 weeks. The difference this time is that i've not been alone since i had my 'bad heart' thing back in November...

I am sure i'll be okay, but its still alright to miss him :)

x

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: hey bluebell, course its okay to miss him! my prob has been that i havent even coped with the 'thought' of my husband being away!!! so you are doing brilliantly well:yesyes: it will be hard, but everybody finds it difficult when ppl go away - only prob for the likes of us is that we arent independant enough to really fill the time? well my life isnt full enough to cope with it, so i find myself brooding, worrying and resorting to catastrophic thoughts and then intense anxiety - all about the belief that i 'cant cope'!:wacko: :lac: :weep: anyway take care you sound better already!:yesyes:

[mandie]

Hi Bluebell.

Iv lived on my own with my daughter for the past 5 years now. It was hard at first and then i got used to it.

Keep yourself busy and the time will pass quickly.

Im always around in the early hours if you need support.

take care

love mandie xx

[kellie]

hiya bluebell :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: of cause its ok to miss him it is only natural to feel that way. my hubbie can be a pain in the bum but is still miss him when he aint here. keep urself as busy as you can and you will be suprised how fast the time will pass. tell him to make sure he brings you home something nice. above all keep reminding yourself that you will be fine because you will. we are all here to support you when ever you need us. pm me any time and ill reply asap
best wishes
take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lilith1980]

Hey Bluebell,

Of course its alright to miss him hun :hugs:

I think you will surprise yourself with how you cope with him not being around. I used to go to pieces if my boyfriend went out or was away for a few nights, but now I use it to my advantage and watch all the rubbish on TV that he normally wouldnt want to watch with me

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: geat advice jo! this is wha tim working on, being able to be alone and to feel okay about that - like my life goes on. truth is i dont miss my husband when hes not around anymore, but i still rely on him too much. you sound like youve read 'feel the fear and do it anyway' jo? this book really meant alot to me because at one time i was so okay in my own little world compared to how ive been since agoraphobia became my life. and i think her philosiphies are great!!:yesyes:

hope your feeling okay now bluebell?:flowers:

[belle]

Thats exactly what i am going to do with my time.
I am going to hold the remote control..
I am going to have ALL the windows open
I am going to have the blinds open at night
I am going to watch what I want
I am going to have the TV on in the bedroom at a volume I CAN hear...

Oh goodness, i have come on here many times and said how badly my husband treats me sometimes, but....i still LOVE him.

Tonight will be a good tester for me, will i sleep or won't i??
Insomnia is NOT my friend when i am alone.

[kazzie]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Bluebell

Kaz x:hugs:

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: hey bluebell, yes you have come on here and said how badly your husbansd treats you, but you choose to stay with him, and we know why because you do love him! so really the problem isnt your husband although obviously we are all capable of being self-centred, hurtful and mean and can change our ways if we want to? but you ucant actually change him anyway, the only person you can change is you!!!!

ui went through all this last year with my husband and other support person - we had talked about divorce for months and it seemed the only option - but my therapist was adamant that it is not the relationship that is wrong although like i said things can always be improved between a couple - the problem is your anxiety disorder!!!!! and another thing she said to me time after time was you must not split up while you are this low - so if you wan to divorce or split up wait until you are no longer struggling badly with agaoro - wait until you have improved a bit before you make any major decisions about important relationships. lie ive said before remember who the enemy is bluebell? its the agoraphobia:hugs: tc, emma:flowers:

[Karen]

Hi Bluebell

I hope you managed to get some sleep last night :hugs:

Remember we are all here to support you while hubby is away. It is natural to miss him and to worry when he is not there, even if he is not always that supportive when he is there.

Come here and post whenever you need to and we will be here.

Try to keep busy and the time will soon pass. It isn't easy but you will get through it.

Thinking of you :hugs:

Karen xx