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Edster
04-04-05, 21:28
Does anyone else feel like me sometimes? My husband has been suffering with panic attacks/health anxieties for the last 3 or 4 years and I have been suffering alongside him. I know it is an illness and it's immensely hard for him to control and cope with but sometimes, just sometimes I feel like giving up on it - not him, just 'IT'. 'IT' has been the centre of our marriage all this time and 'IT's' getting in the flippin. way! 'IT' has made him become and self-centred, selfish individual who puts himself way before me and the children in most cases. I know he doesn't mean for this to happen, but when will it all stop????? How do us 'partners' continue to live with this without becoming sufferers ourselves?

nomorepanic
04-04-05, 21:35
Edster

Welcome aboard and I am pleased to see you posted here so thanks for choosing the right post.

I can truly understand how hard it is for you cos I know what I have put my partner through over the years.

We do tend to get a bit selfish when we feel so bad and we forget how hard it is on the partners so I can understand how you must feel frustrated and let down.

We can offer support to your partner but I appreciate that you too need support through this.

We can try and help you understand why it is so hard for him and then we can try to help him which I think is the most important thing that we could do to help.

I am sure you won't become a sufferer yourself - some of us just "get it" and some are free from it forever luckily.

Anwyay just wanted to welcome you aboard and to say that we will support you as much as your partner in this as we know that sometimes it takes two to make it work but somewhere down the line one of those people is forgotten about (usually the partner).

Welcome!


Nicola

della
04-04-05, 21:41
welcome esther

i am please that you have found our cares forum..i completly agree with what nic has said and it is not only hard for the sufferer but on their partners.
Being a former sufferer for over 12 yrs..my husband was a great support to me...however i know that at times of intense panic/fear i became a monster towords him and took out my feelings on him...so i can understand how your feeling..it is not the easiest thing in the world to support people with this kind of emotional distress...keep up the good work we are her for you as and when you feel the need.

take care[^]

Edster
04-04-05, 21:42
That was my wife Sue who typed that last message. She just feels I am being selfish (which I can agree with at times).

I know that this site will not only support me in overcoming anxiety but will also help her too.

thanks

nomorepanic
04-04-05, 21:52
Hey we will do all we can to help ok

Start by printing off this .... www.nomorepanic.co.uk/firststeps.htm

Good to see you here.

Nicola

seh1980
04-04-05, 21:59
Welcome aboard!! I hope that we are able to suport both you and give you some good advice. :D

zena
05-04-05, 12:51
I agree with Della.
I think most partners suffer along with us.
My hubby has taken alot from me in the past....I used to hurl abuse at him...and the screaming matches we had were unbelievable...but..he is still here!

I can get quite selfish this is true but when I need his support he's there for me.

But saying all this welcome to the site. I hope it gives you an insight to what happens and hope it gives both of you support and understanding.

with good wishes

Zena

Holly
30-07-05, 11:25
Your partner does suffer, no doubt.
I know for me (I've been a 'sufferer' for a year or so), one of the worst thoughts is that everyone is/will be getting sick of me. My sister is brilliant, I tell her I'm a fruitcake and she gets annoyed with me and tells me that if I had a heart conditon that I couldn't control, I wouldn't be blaming myself. I thank my lucky stars for her everyday (my parents are understanding too, but my sister is something else).

My hubby is good too thankfully, he does feel victimised by me sometimes because I expect him to put my snaps and moods down to my illness. And that can be difficult. However, being a carer for someone with mental illness, I can officially tell you that you mean the world to that person you are caring for - you really do. My friends and family are my God sends, and I tell them so as often as I can.