Bill
08-05-08, 01:23
Stop going around trying to feel everyone else's emotions, and really sit down and feel your own. Being empathetic to everyone else's needs is certainly quite charitable, but at some point you need to face the music and look at yourself. Make a clear distinction between your needs and the needs of others. Express your feelings to those around you. Ask for help if you need it. Other people aren't mind readers. They probably have to idea what you are feeling.
These were my stars for today and for the past few weeks, whether you believe in this sort of thing or not, they've been amazingly accurate.
Anyway, I've copied mine here because not only are they accurate but they make alot of sense too because too often we think of others and forget our own wellbeing. So often too, we find we can't help ourselves but instead of reaching out making it clear how we feel, we either make too subtle hints or store the feelings up until we explode.
I can hear you say though, who do we open up to because so often by opening up to people who don't understand, we just end up feeling worse. However of course, if we wait until we feel like exploding, the explosion hits the people who want to help us and they are blown away by the impact so we end up losing our friends!
Opening up is not only knowing who to open up to but also knowing when and how to open up before it's too late.
Counselling can help so much I feel but sometimes I think we can go round in circles over the same issues because a counsellor can only help us find the answers but it's up to us to find the strength to go through with them. Just is the case with CBT. They can show us what to do and how to cope but sometimes our fear is so great that it prevents us helping ourselves so we blame CBT for failing but until we do confront fear, we just go round in circles living in what feels like hell.
However, I feel sometimes for whatever our reasons, the cure is just too painful to accept so we survive through comfort of friends who also suffer a similar fate. The important thing is learning to cope so that our fear doesn't stop us finding enjoyment in life, even if we can never be totally free in our lives or of anxiety.
I don't know if that sounds defeatist or not but I do believe to a point we can help ourselves and learn to cope with anxiety so that we can still find enjoyment in life despite any constraints we feel restricted by. However, when we reach that point and we feel we can do no more to help ourselves, sometimes I feel what can help us most to keep going is a little help from our "friends".......just as The Beatles sang........but friends cannot be found if we don't cry out for help in a friendly manner. Many a wise word can be found in song.:hugs:
These were my stars for today and for the past few weeks, whether you believe in this sort of thing or not, they've been amazingly accurate.
Anyway, I've copied mine here because not only are they accurate but they make alot of sense too because too often we think of others and forget our own wellbeing. So often too, we find we can't help ourselves but instead of reaching out making it clear how we feel, we either make too subtle hints or store the feelings up until we explode.
I can hear you say though, who do we open up to because so often by opening up to people who don't understand, we just end up feeling worse. However of course, if we wait until we feel like exploding, the explosion hits the people who want to help us and they are blown away by the impact so we end up losing our friends!
Opening up is not only knowing who to open up to but also knowing when and how to open up before it's too late.
Counselling can help so much I feel but sometimes I think we can go round in circles over the same issues because a counsellor can only help us find the answers but it's up to us to find the strength to go through with them. Just is the case with CBT. They can show us what to do and how to cope but sometimes our fear is so great that it prevents us helping ourselves so we blame CBT for failing but until we do confront fear, we just go round in circles living in what feels like hell.
However, I feel sometimes for whatever our reasons, the cure is just too painful to accept so we survive through comfort of friends who also suffer a similar fate. The important thing is learning to cope so that our fear doesn't stop us finding enjoyment in life, even if we can never be totally free in our lives or of anxiety.
I don't know if that sounds defeatist or not but I do believe to a point we can help ourselves and learn to cope with anxiety so that we can still find enjoyment in life despite any constraints we feel restricted by. However, when we reach that point and we feel we can do no more to help ourselves, sometimes I feel what can help us most to keep going is a little help from our "friends".......just as The Beatles sang........but friends cannot be found if we don't cry out for help in a friendly manner. Many a wise word can be found in song.:hugs: