warbler
10-05-08, 07:20
I get on really well with my work colleagues when I'm in the work environment but tonight they're all going on a hen night out to which I was invited weeks ago. I originally said I'd go but it would depend on where they went. They decided on a meal and then an 80's style club afterwards. I used to go to the place in my 20's so know it well. At that point I decided I couldn't cope with going and pulled out.
This solved the issue of the horrid anxiety I get at the thought of going out in a gang of people (there are others that I won't know going too), but I' m left with feelings of having let them down- especially one of my trainees who was trying to persuade me yesterday that she'd have a better time if I went. There's a part of me that wishes I could enjoy myself and get involved but the sick feeling and shaking I get, plus the desire to escape and run away home are too much to deal with anymore. None of them know about my problem with anxiety as there have been a couple of staff in the past with similar problems and none of the others were particularly understanding and thought it was a little bit of a joke-not in a nasty way, I just think they didn't know how to deal with it. The boss in particular doesn't seem very clued up on anxiety and stress which can be a problem and in the end i just have to keep all my difficulties hidden away.
I just told them I was getting up ealry on Sunday (which is true) and couldn't cope with the late night. The girl who's getting married looked really disappointed which made me sad.
I hate all these inner battles with my conscience!
Warbler
This solved the issue of the horrid anxiety I get at the thought of going out in a gang of people (there are others that I won't know going too), but I' m left with feelings of having let them down- especially one of my trainees who was trying to persuade me yesterday that she'd have a better time if I went. There's a part of me that wishes I could enjoy myself and get involved but the sick feeling and shaking I get, plus the desire to escape and run away home are too much to deal with anymore. None of them know about my problem with anxiety as there have been a couple of staff in the past with similar problems and none of the others were particularly understanding and thought it was a little bit of a joke-not in a nasty way, I just think they didn't know how to deal with it. The boss in particular doesn't seem very clued up on anxiety and stress which can be a problem and in the end i just have to keep all my difficulties hidden away.
I just told them I was getting up ealry on Sunday (which is true) and couldn't cope with the late night. The girl who's getting married looked really disappointed which made me sad.
I hate all these inner battles with my conscience!
Warbler