View Full Version : Thread closure
I am not very happy tonight to logon and find that my thread has been closed again 'pending review' whatever that means :shrug:
It just feels very unfair to me. All the time I was posting positively I was left alone and no one bothered but life isn't like that and now I'm having a difficult time again my thread gets closed.
I'm sure I cannot be the only person on this forum who posts about things that are difficult and yet it seems I get penalised just because my problems are different to many others here.
Tonight I feel very upset and it really is the last thing I need. I am beginning to wonder whether I really belong here anymore.
Karen
Karen, Hi. As you already know, I'm one of the ppl who responded to your thread last night because of losing my sister to anorexia, and although i had my own issues with your posts, something i did see in all of the other ppls replies to you is how much they care about you and how much they want to help you, and how much they want you to live. Ok, maybe not everyone on here understands anorexia, but that doesn't stop them from trying desperately to help you. What i saw in those posts were ppl in alot of pain with their own health probs, trying to hold you up with yours.
Have a bit of courage...if you don't want to do it for you then do it for them. These ppl care about you.
Take care of yourself
Cathy xx
cathy i totally agree with you, hugsxx and hugs karen xxxxxxxx
Hi Karen,
This thread has been closed pending an Administrative review of its recent content.
The Forum rules are quite clear:-
We also do not allow posts that .............or violate NMP community standards. The NMP team shall be the sole arbitrator of what does and what does not violate community standards.
Please feel free to PM me at any time to discuss this.
Best wishes,
Chalky
The Forum rules are quite clear:-
We also do not allow posts that .............or violate NMP community standards.
What exactly are 'community standards'? And how is talking about how I feel breaking the rules? :shrug: I am genuinely confused as to what I have done wrong this time.
I am sorry some members are upset by my illness and the nature of it but I cannot help that. Anorexia as an illness means I will continue to have thoughts and feelings about wanting to lose weight. I cannot change that. It is part of my illness just as being unable to step outside is part of agoraphobia.
I've also read things in other posts on this forum that would seem to me to be far more disturbing and upsetting than anything I have written recently. Holding Karen Carpenter to be an idol does not seem a crime to me and I am sorry that others believe it is.
Karen
I'm like probably the newest member here and I want to say that I HATE threads being closed by moderators on any fora on the Internet.
Who actually has the right to shut down a conversation between adults when they decide to? No-one, that's who.
I'll probably get my arse banned for saying this but I care not a jot. It pisses me off as a grown woman who has been around the block several thousand times to have other people, who don't even know me, censor me on the net.
Hi Karen
I did write a reply to you about my comment last night apologising if it offended you. I suffered greatly with anorexia years ago and suffering the health consequences now. I understand how bad you feel and all the rest,because I have been there, but I think what disturbs people and that includes me as someone who was anorexic, is that Karen Carpenter surely can only be admired for her musical talent and certainly not for being anorexic and there is nothing to be admired about people who destroy themselves. Its human nature to want to help people, to see them help themselves, to see them get better, not to stand by and watch someone destroy themselves. I know the pain I put people through and I hate myself for that. What is so great about anorexia and looking like a skeleton! I looked horrifuc at the time and lost some of my teeth, and hair and have permanantly damaged my bones.Its crap just as being an agoraphobic is, like I am now. There is not one single thing that is good about it, be it anorexia or agoraphobia. There is nothing at all remotely positive about it.It just means you live a crap life end of when it could actually be as good a life as you want it to be. I know it isnt easy and there is no magic cure. The only cure is in helping yourself as best as you can to get totally better so you can have a quality of life before life ends whether you want it to or not. People do care about you here. They dont want to see you die from anorexia. They want to support and help you and see you make a recovery, have a good life and be happy and I am sure they would be devastated if you died. Its as simple as that.That is what upsets people and admiring Karen Carpenter for any other reason then her musical talent is bound to upset and shock people.
Sending you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Karen
Im not able to comment cos I see both sides here and really Im sat on the fence(and its not comfy)
Kaz x x x:hugs:
nomorepanic
12-05-08, 22:59
Ariane
The rules are there for a reason and not to upset people.
Would you rather I just let people post whatever they want on here ? Who do you think would get all the complaints and backlash from it?
I have a job to protect the NMP members and that is what I and the other admins will do.
eeyorelover
12-05-08, 22:59
Hi Karen -
Basically 'community standards' is a guideline as to what the administration feels is appropriate for the forum.
Unfortunately there is no way to cover all topics that may be discussed on the forum that may violate these standards which is why under "forum rules" we have clearly posted...
"Also while these rules cover most common situations, they cannot anticipate everything. Consequently we reserve the right to take any actions we deem appropriate to ensure these forums are not disrupted or abused in any way."
And
"The NMP team shall be the sole arbitrator of what does and what does not violate community standards."
Although I know that your anxiety and anorexia are closely connected - we do not have the knowledge of anorexia to help you with this problem.
As stated before you are welcome to post regarding your anxiety HOWEVER posts about anorexia in action - Ex. binging and purging, fasting, dieting, can not be posted on the forum.
xxx
Sandy
nomorepanic
12-05-08, 23:01
Anorexia as an illness means I will continue to have thoughts and feelings about wanting to lose weight. I cannot change that. It is part of my illness just as being unable to step outside is part of agoraphobia.
Karen
But we are not an anorexia site Karen as I keep telling you. Agoraphobia yes.
You need to be posting these feelings on a site where people understand more, can relate to your illness and advise you better. We cannot do that here.
sites like these are precious and very much needed for people and they need to be looked after and the people who run nmp have a very hard job and dont forget these people have there own problems too so please dont be hard on them. without them keeping an eye there would be alsorts of undesirables on here and upsetting people. people here really care and its a great little community and there are not enough of these sites so we all try to look after nmp
Why do you expect someone to do something they find impossible for "them"? If I can't do something extraordinarily difficult for myself....then why would I be able to do it for people who care about me? You are putting way too much pressure onto someone for your own selfish reasons, in my opinion. You have no right to demand that she do something for "them", just because they care about her. SHE cares about her and she can't do it for herself!
:mad: oh dear:whistles: this is not a start a arguement forum you are in wrong place this is for positive threads
Of course not - and to suggest this is specious, and I think you know that. But only you decide what you are protecting NMP members from. I did not, and nor would I suggest that The Rules were here to upset people, this is a red herring introduced by your good self. To be fair, I don't know why this thread was closed. I only know that i'm a 44 year old woman who has seen a lot of life and does not allow anyone to censor me. I'm a decent, reponsible person and I don't need to be censored!
Does Karen suffer from any anxiety disorders or does she just have anorexia?
eeyorelover
12-05-08, 23:17
All sites have rules.
This is one of ours and will continue to be.
nomorepanic
12-05-08, 23:18
Ariane - then maybe NMP isn't the place for you as we do have rules here and we will enforce them.
Donna - are you addressing me? And when you say "this is not a start an argument forum" (is there any such thing? ) do you mean this one? Are you one of those people who only wants to hear things like "Life is good", "Life is wonderful", "I succeed in life".
Because if you are, then you need to leave the Internet.
Rules meaning what though?
I do not know what rule
you are talking about!!!!!
Tell me!
Can we chat? Talk about this in real time?
eeyorelover
12-05-08, 23:23
Happy to PM with you regarding this.
What rule are you defending here? To the point of telling a (new) fellow sufferer she has to leave if she can't abide by it? What rule?
Ariane
Read the message that I wrote. To suggest we all want to hear success stories is totally wrong. We are all here to help one another and a lot of caring kind people including Donna and many others on here have been a godsend to me lately. They are people with their own problems who take time out to help others with theirs. I was anorexic as stated earlier. People do not want to hear anorexia being glorified by someone saying Karen Carpenter is to be admired because of how well she 'did' anorexia and that is glorifying it as far as I am concerned. Its like cancer. You wouldnt say about someone who had cancer, how much you admired them, cos they smoked 100 cigs a day and gave themselves cancer would you! This site is supportive and amazing and we do all help as much as we can whilst we have our own problems to deal with. People on here care for Karen and dont want to see her die, but you have to realise it is upsetting for people when she can sound like she is is amost trying to shock. What do you want people to say? Do you want to hear them say Oh go ahead Karen and starve yourself! We care for her and its upsetting seeing her suffering and sometimes sounding like she isnt trying to help herself.
nomorepanic
12-05-08, 23:32
So yet another thread hijacked!
nomorepanic
12-05-08, 23:34
Carla - thanks for that positive reply!
In my opinion, seeing as this site is run by fellow sufferes, FREE OF CHARGE, Nicola and all the other admins are entitled to enforce whatever rules they wish. I, for one of many, consider it a privilege, not a right.
eeyorelover
12-05-08, 23:36
Thank you Sue!
xxx
Sandy
...and I will tell you what is tragic....someone that I know died a year ago tomorrow of cancer at a very young age, leaving 3 tiny children without a mummy. She fought so hard to stay alive. She never had the 'luxury' to choose whether to starve herself to death or not. That is what is tragic!!!
Hey hey hey! To Ariane, please DO NOT talk this way to donna, or to the admins on this forum. You know nothing about these people and what they do, the time they give to try to make ppl on here feel better. Youve now been told that if you don't like the rules, then go somewhere where you can ignore them, ok?:mad:
Cathy V
It is indeed Sue a privilage:yesyes:
Seems there are still people here who could cause a row in an empty room:mad:
I just wish people would see what Nic and Alex do FOR FREE
And for NO THANKS
Please you lot go away and leave NMP in peace:weep:
Kaz x x x
It does worry me with all that seems to have happened in recent weeks that the site will be closed.......... I'd be devestated as I've found it such a great help. I just wonder if there will come a day when Nocola will wonder if there is any point :weep:
nomorepanic
13-05-08, 00:06
Sue - I will never close it - they will not win ok so don't worry. I have a fab team behind me doing all the hard work and we will not let these people win.
Thanks for the support.
Thank you Nicola :yesyes:
Seems there are still people here who could cause a row in an empty room:mad:
I really hope that's not what people think of me because I did not mean to start any kind of row with anyone. I don't like falling out with people and particularly people who have become dear friends to me in my time here.
To answer the question as to whether I have anxiety as well as anorexia the answer is yes and that's the reason I joined originally.
Nic - I realise this is not an anorexia forum. I do not expect people to understand but I also do not wish to join an anorexia forum because, like eating disorder units, eating disorder forums are very triggering and make my situation worse. I do not need to read more about anorexic behaviours than I have already picked up through being in so called treatment programmes.
I have also been a member of this forum for 4 years and have until recently felt at home here. I had no wish to leave but it seems perhaps I am not welcome.
I do not know how I can post about what is troubling me from day to day without mentioning anorexia, wanting to lose weight or the problems I have with bingeing and purging. I've suffered from anorexia during my entire time on this forum and have written about actions I've taken in far greater detail in the past without all these problems.
I do not write with the intention of shocking anyone but those are my feelings and thoughts at the time. I just feel I get censored as soon as I start struggling when it is unrealistic to expect me to be making positive progress the whole time. There are lots of additional stresses that I am unable to talk about here and none of which are helping.
I feel it is a sad day if I have to leave the forum but I cannot cope with being discriminated against because that's what it feels like. I've read threads talking about self harm and suicide and other things that have not been locked or deleted so why me???
Karen
xBettyBoopx
13-05-08, 01:27
Karen
Can i ask you just one question?
Do you want help for the anorexia?
Elspeth
Can i ask you just one question?
Do you want help for the anorexia?
That's a difficult question. I don't want to give anorexia up because it is the only thing I have got in my life that helps me feel good. I am good when I starve and bad when I eat.
However, I do want help to stop the bingeing and purging because that just sabotages me and makes me want to punish myself more.
At present I am working with my therapist in trying to find a way to live more safely with anorexia rather than giving it up, which is too difficult for me to do.
Karen
xBettyBoopx
13-05-08, 03:42
Ok Karen. Is there absolutely nothing else in life that makes you happy? (btw please don't think I'm being judgemental, cause I'm not). Do you work? If so, do you like your job? Do you get on with your family? Do you have holidays? Do you like where you live? Do you have nice neighbours? Is there a man in your life? If not, is there anyone you fancy? Do you see where I'm going with this? Apart from anxiety, depression and ed, do you have any physical illnesses?
Now I'm not gonna say that there are people so much worse off than you, 'cause that isn't going to help. I personally feel like punching ppl when they tell me that! However, if there is anything at all that could make you happy, or is making you happy, could you focus on that rather than your eating habits?
Look, I know nothing about this illness, but I feel compelled for some reason to try & help you. You need distraction Karen, I see (& don't take offense) that you are entirely focused on yourself. I noted in one of your posts that you said you had been coming to nmp for about 4 years. Do you answer other ppls posts when they are crying out for help? You also suffer anxiety & depression, do you try to help other ppl on here? I reckon you could be of help to other ppl, knowing what it's like, right? From my own personal experiences, I know that I can get bogged down so much with how I'm feeling, to the point where I don't realise that other ppl are hurting just as bad. And when that happens I come on here and try to help where I can.
I can name about 30 things that would make me happy, are you really saying that being thin is the ONLY thing that makes you happy? Do you think that's why you were put on this earth? Because I don't. There is more to you than your body, there is your mind, and your heart and soul, your personality, your spirit, your courage, your strength.
Please don't just read this and throw it away, think about it:) I can tell from your posts that you have a big personality, you're very articulate and you have a lot to give the world and the ppl in it, but you have to stop focusing all the time on yourself, and channel that energy onto other ppl.
I'm not apologising for the long post, I have thought long & hard about your situation.
I hope that you take on board some of the things I have said Karen, and good luck. Take care.
Elspeth
Hi Guys,
The Administrative staff on this Site have been appointed and have been charged with ensuring that the rules of the Forum are adhered too.
I note that yet again a charge of discrimination has been levelled against the Admins.
The welfare of the Forum is more important than any one member.
Before responding to this Thread,I spent some time looking around other Anxiety WebSites.
The one common denominator shared by all is Rules.
In recent weeks,intolerable pressure has been placed on Nic and other members of the Admin team by disaffected members.These matters have been dealt with quietly and professionally.I am one of the newest members of this team and have been truly inspired and amazed by the dedication,time and effort given by my colleagues to look after you all.
When accusations are made against this team,they should be based on fact and not on supposition or imagination.
This Thread is now closed.
Best wishes,
Chalky
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