feel so down plz read

[loulou]

Hi all,

I just need someome to talk to i feel really down at the moment im sitting here in tears and feel soo alone. I suffer with severe anxiety which means i dont have much of a social like i dont have a lot of friends i have two best friends but they both have partners so i dont see them that much because they are off with their boyfriends and i have a few friends in work but im not very outgoing so dont go out with them much which i am trying to work on but at the moment i feel really depressed which is making it harder for me to go out and socialise becuase i cant be bothered i dont have any get up and go at the moment im 26 and have a good job in the city but i feel thats all i do have i feel everyone has got someone and i aint and i feel soo alone and dont feel i have anyone i can talk to. I used to be very close to my aunt and called talk to her and i suppose in many ways she is my best friend but she is one of those people who are quite fickle and has flavour of the month and at the moment im not flavour of the month so she doenst have much time for me which really hurts because i miss her and could do with a friend, i just rang her and she was being a bit bitchy which she can be like sometimes and normally i laugh it off but today its really hurt me and then her other phone rang and she told the person that she'll ring them back in two minutes and told me she'll have to talk to me later because she is a very busy person but i feel she is only too busy for me and it hurts because i dont think she cares about me anymore which then makes me needy because rahter than me say to myself oh leave her for a few days and then will be ok i get really hurt and then will keep phoning her until she is nice to me which isnt normal, but i feel eveyone takes advantage of me because ive been there for all my friends when they need someone and now i could really do with a friend and i dont feel like i have a friend in the world. I feel soo lonely and un important to anyone like im just in the background of peoples world rather than being somthing to someone. dont get me wrong i have a lovely mum, dad, brother and sister but i feel they have their own little families and my sister has her husband and my brother has his wife and my mum and dad have eachtoher and i have noone. I wish i didnt feel like this and didnt care its not normal to feel like it i feel so pathetic like for instance my little cousin who is 14 has a new boyfriend and has put him as her top friend on her myspace page and put me second (i was always first) and its upset me but it shouldnt im 26 and shes 14 but i cant help feeling left out and un needed by anone and im ashamed to say i feel a bit jealous. I feel like i dont have anthing to look forward to and none would notice if i dissapeared.i feel like ive lost soo much oppourtunity in my life and im getting older and im scared im gonna end up on my own and lonely well im already lonely. i just dont know what to do.

Sorry for the rant just needed to get that off my chest :weep:

[marie1974]

hi lisa first of all i had a similar problem with my auntie long story but she let me down big style and have never been able to forgive and i was so close to her. my barriers up up high as i been hurt alot and im seeing a counsellor at mo which is great its hard when you feel down to get motivated you get into a rut but i brisk walk daily as the exercise really got rid of alot of my anxiety and depression please feel free to pm me anytime and we can talk if you need to hugs xxxxxxx

[marie1974]

i rely on my partner alot to and we have 3 kids im not close to my family and i have been in that place where you are angry and hurt and want to blame the world and sometimes im still like that i get really down and feel lonley, please dont worry and talk to me anytime xx

[mila]

Hi Lisa,
Don't feel ashamed for being jelous, it's kind of normal considering how you feel now. I have felt like that before, alone. I had mom, dad, brother, friends, same as you, even a boyfriend I lived with, but felt so so alone, I needed someone to talk to, someone who will try to understand how I felt, but they just couldn't, someone who will be there for me. And I was there for many of those people many times, but when I needed them...well, there was no one really. It is just that some people cannot really comprehend how we feel and these things can affect you, I always thought they don't really take it seriously. So I don't know what your aunt thought about things you're going through when you talked to her before, when she did talk to you. You talked to her about it before? And when you talked to her now did you tell her how you feel? I so wish I could help you, I really know where you're coming from. You see, my parent just couldn't understand me coz they are just so different from me, my mom especially, she was always telling me i should just not think about it and move on...i mean if i could like i wouldn't. but that's what she does.