Agoraohobia? You Decide . . .

[never2late]

I have spent the better part of my lifetime creating a world of my own. I worked hard to build my own world right where I live . . . entertainment, swimming, fitness center, professional work studio, etc. There are times when I do not see or speak to another human being for weeks on end (not counting my wife of 31 years, of course).

I do not have a "fear" of going out . . . in fact, I must spend time on the road with my own work and speaking engagements . . . where I meet thousands and thousands of people. In my field, I am known around the world (and enjoy an especially strong following in the UK, btw).

But then I come back home, and disappear into my own world again.

I am happy being here. I have everything that I need. I personally would not want to have it any other way.

Do I have a form of Agoraphobia -- and just do not know it?

Can you have Agoraphobia and be very happy with it?

[Cathy V]

Hi,
I guess agoraphobia effects people in different ways, while still having common triggers and symptoms. I would describe it as very traumatic for alot of people. If you don't have any fear, or suffer from any physical feelings of panic when leaving your home and travelling around, and you are genuinely happy to be at home, then i would say you don't have it, but thats only one opinion..perhaps others will have a different view of it.

Best wishes
Cathy :)

[marie1974]

hi there i dont know whether you suffer agoraphobia or not but if you are usually really busy and non stop and seeing lots of people then mayb its nice for you just to hide away for a while to have some private time and theres nothing wrong with that, so i would not worry to much. sometimes i wish i could disappear when life is tough i am lucky i have a lovely hubby but i always feel very lonely as i not close to my family and they dont really understand me and every day we just plod along making ends meet and sometimes i get days where i just want to hide away but for me thats the worst thing i need to be out and about with or with out kids so i brisk walk every day. but i really would not worry as long as you feel ok with how you are and your wife is ok then you have obviously worked very hard and sometimes you just want to chill even if its for weeks. i think sometimes its good to just shut the world out for a little while while we relax and unwind.
i think you are fine so dont worry, always here if you want to chat whilst you
locked in your world and you will get lots of good advice from people here too and make friends if you want too, anyway best i shut up now haha hugs xxx

[never2late]

Thanks for the replies. I do feel fortunate indeed that I can disappear, and I wish that everyone who would want to, could do it as well. I also have my difficult moments . . . being "out there" really takes a lot out of me and I feel I need to recover once I return. But, true, it's not a fear. Perhaps having an island of sanity once I return has helped it not to develop into a fear.

[pooh]

Hi Never!

You sound content. It works why question it?

[Tom_M]

I think we all need a place of our own where we can chill out. I have a cabin in the garden which is my inner sanctum. To keep the misses out I have a sign on the door saying "beware of the mice" which works well :). I have the computer in here, a telephone, a radiator for the winter months, and of course a TV. I'd spend the rest of my life in here if I didn't need to go to the toilet :D.

[marie1974]

hi again well your posts sound very positive and you sound very happy so please dont change that i hope one day i can feel as good as you, im getting there though. i dont think you need to worry at all, stay safe and happy. hugs xxxxxxxxxx

[Trixie]

My daughter suffers from social paranoia so will not leave the house so this has caused her to have agraphobia as well. She is nearly 24 and has been like this since just before she was doing her A-levels. The only time she has left the house was to go to the hospital to see a consultant. She doesn't even like going out into the garden. She also suffers from OCD.

[popsy]

No, i dont think so, i think you sound pretty sorted to me, having a place to burrow away from the world is exactly what we all crave. Be happy that you have created such a peaceful place for yourself! Im pretty jealous to be honest! LOL

[mtatum4496]

It appears to me that you are the type of person who is perfectly content to spend time away from large crowds, but at the same time are able to go forth and interact when and as necessary, without dreading it or being overwhelmed by the activity.

I can remember when I used to be very comfortable in front of a large group of people, at events loaded with noise and laughter, and traveling to see clients, etc. I was also happy being at home as well, and was always happy to get back home. But I genuinely enjoyed and looked forward to the chance to get out of town and see something different and new.

That was before the panic/agoraphobia.

Being comfortable at home and being content to stay there, while still feeling perfectly capable to go out into the world when and as necessary strikes me as being very balanced. I am no doctor, but I would say you do not have agoraphobia, and in fact are quite a fortunate person to be able to enjoy both your solitude and your engagements with the wider community.

[never2late]

Well, let me put it this way:

I do love to get out there, but it does take a lot out of my nerves. My biggest problems would be the noise, traffic, flashing lights, loud pounding music, etc. It takes me a while to recover from a trip on the road. But, at the same time, I don't FEAR doing it.

It's sort of like BOXING. One knows that they're going to get hit, have swollen eyes, be very sore, and take days to recover. But a boxer doesn't FEAR getting in the ring and doing it.

That's how going "out" is for me.

[Cathy V]

Hiya, sounds like when you're out on the road (are you a musician by the way?) in the middle of all of the sensory bits that you mentioned, maybe you're just on a natural 'high' and your adrenaline levels are equally high, and adrenaline in the right situation can be good not bad, so when you get back to your quiet life at home, your energy levels are maybe quite low.

Just a thought
Cathy xx :)

[marie1974]

hi there nevertolate, im imagining that the life style you lead is an extremely loud and busy one and where life is full on and non stop so if that was my life i think id be happy to go home to my own little world and recover and just be myself hun, nothing wrong with that. please dont worry as long as you are happy then theres no need for change. i have changed alot about me recently through cbt to make me happier i have got rid of so called friends who have been fake and using me and now i feel heaps better and i am more confident about myself, we all do what we need to for us to survive and stay sane in this mad world and you have created your perfect little life at home when u r there, so u can just please yourself and thats just fine. now i off to my bed so stay happy keep smiling xxxxxxxxxx

[artistguy]

I do not think that it is agoraphobia. Makes me think of Billy Bob Thronton who says he likes to stay home if he can.