Me again---another bad day!!

[jellybean43]

Hi everyone!
Well I have got up today and I am starting to worry about my health again!!When will i get a day free from it?? A couple of weeks ago when we were on hols it was great cos i really did have a few days when i never thought about it but back at home it all starts again.
I have now moved from the swelling on my neck(for those who dont know i have had it all checked out and given the all clear!!!) to feeling for lumps and bumps everywhere else.
Since having under my arms checked(and yes that was ok!) I have now moved to feeling my groin.
I did post the other day but didnt get many replies so then started to worry that it is maybe something serious and no one dare reply(yep mad i know but this is what this blasted anxiety does to me!!!).I am constantly poking hard which i know is wrong but cant stop---each side and feeling grissly bits and then thinking crikey this is it I have found something sinister. I then feel OH and his is the same. I have even had my grown up son checking his groin and telling me to shut up cos he has the same as i am describing.
Why i am torturing myself day in day out?
I do have really bad PMT today which i know makes things soooo much worse. I also feel sorry for my OH today as he says he is feeling stressed cos i am stressing so and that i have been given the all clear so why cant i just accept that and get on with my life like i used to. I said that i am asking myself the same thing and if I could do that i would!!!!!
Roll on the CBT as I am hopeful that may do the trick. Also, I am starting on propranalol next week(just finishing the current course of migraine tablets) ---these he has prescribed for anxiety and migraines.
Thanks for any advice xxxx

[Lissy43]

You poor thing. 4 years back I had very very bad anxiety and post natal depression adn I was a lump checker;-) my neck especially, I was obsessed in checking my glands.

If a gland was ever anything to worry about it would be ver very large and hard, you would just know something wasn't right. With cancer they swell up the size of golfballs! My son had a very large gland in his neck 2 years ago and had tests, my GP reassurd me that it wasn't cancerous and now I know not to worry if any of us get raised glands.

I feel for you because I have been there and I know that its so hard to not check yourself and not panic about something. I still worry now but usually when I have an ongoing symptom so the counselling I had has helped me cope much better but im still a worrier but even my GP says its just me, I will always be a worryguts, I wouldn't be me if I didn't think the worst all the time;-)

[Emira7]

Hey Jellybean

Sorry your feeling rubbish, I have been like this this week. I went into chat last night, HA has come along and bit me on the butt again. i have had a clear run for a while of feeling normal! (whatever that is!!)

PMT makes my anxiety go through the roof, so rest assured I know how you feel.

I have been checking my leg alot lately for blood clots. Trying not to do it though, I think advice given on here is to allow yourself to check at certain times but no more often than that.
Importantly come on here, and PM/ go in chat. I felt rotton last night, well all week really, and I went in Chat and a few people had me laughing and thinking about other things.

Big hugs hunny

Em
xx

[jodiehind]

Hiya,

Sorry you are feeling so bad today. Had a similar problem yesterday!! Took antihistamine tablet for hay fever and it gave me bad palpitations, then convinced myself I was gonna have a heart attack. Went on the forum last night and within 1/2 hour I was feeling OK again.

Just been out to the vets with the dog for his check up ON MY OWN! and I was fine. PMT makes my anxiety double so notch today down to experience and tomorrow is another day.

Take care hun

Jodie
x

:hugs:

[bottleblond]

Jelly

I really understand how you feel hun. It's difficult when having HA not to check every inch of our bodies all the time and it really is a case of having to re-train our minds to divert these thoughts and habits onto more positive things (easier said than done).

I'm really glad your going to for CBT and i'm sure you will benefit alot from it.

In the meantime, please try to remember that you have been checked over by the doctor and he is not worried in any way about your health.

Hope you feel better soon hun

Love Lisa
xxx

:bighug1:

[milly jones]

just a hug jelly bean

from mill xx

[jellybean43]

Awww thanks everyone for replying!!!
I honestly think some days i am going crazy with this HA!!!On days like today i wish i hadnt insisted on moving to a nicer house and just stayed where we were!!I honestly KNOW that the moving triggered this anxiety with me as the year leading up to move was a nightmare!!! My OH says i have to try and forget that but I just keep thinking that this time last year I was ok---despite living in a rubbish area and having the most horrendous neighbours on earth LOL.
I know that is a crazy way to be thinking but I am sure everyone on here understands.
I also seem to need constant reassurance that 3 docs cant be wrong plus blood tests and Xrays!!!!I am still worrying that I have the dreaded C word!!!
Now, I am looking to find another lump somewhere!!!! I have honestly never in my life felt my groin area(well not poked it like i am doing now!!) ---so why the heck now??
I am reading Claire Weekes book and she says that keeping yourself busy is the key. But how, when you feel so worried about your health can you go out and look for a job/do voluntary work etc etc???
Sorry i am such a pain today-----and thanks for caring xxxx