Lonely and tring to make friends

[stinger007]

Ello,

I'm the new boy and I never really posted on forums so sorry if this doesn't make sence or it's has spelling mistakes and stuff.

I'm 29 and have quite a good life the only problem is i don't really have any friends. I mean i have 1 or 2 but they have there own lives so i tend to spend a lot of time on my own. I have recentley come out of a long relationship which has made things even worse and i've been raking my head as to which direction to take my life.

It's always been hard for me to make really close friends because of my anxiety (somthing which i have always kept private) and over the last 3 months or so i've felt very sort of distant and insolated from the world. Even at work I feel like i'm reading a script or somthing, just sort of going through the motions but i'm not there.

thanks for reading

[marie1974]

hi and welcome you will meet loads of lovely new friends here and get lots of advice and support xxxxxxxxxx

[chalky]

Hi Stinger,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[stinger007]

thanks donna01 thats what i'm hoping - currenly board has hell wacthing t.v

[kaz79]

Hiya:)

[kaz79]

Sorry, welcome. Were all in the same boat here:ohmy:

[milly jones]

hi stinger,

i find making and keeping friends very difficult too.

ppl on nmp are very supportive and will help with any difficulties u have,

i find the chatroom useful as face to face conversations in social situations are most difficult, look forward to perhaps meeting u there, millyx

[popsy]

:welcome: Stinger.
I hope you find this site as friendly and helpful as i do.

You describe something which i suffer from at times when you feel distant from the world and not part of it. Its an anxiety symtom which apparently occurs as the bodys defense to stop you from feeling anymore anxiety, its a normal response so please try not to let it bother you too much, i find if i ignore it it lifts, but i do no how distressing it can be i promise!!!
I think its called depersonalisation or something! :shrug:
Have a look in the main menu i think its under symtoms.
Anyway, hello again and welcome to the site, your never alone here as we are all in the same boat, keep posting!
:hugs: C x

PS I would really recommend www.moodgym.com (http://www.moodgym.com) as a good online CBT (free) course for anxiety/depression.

[stuart39]

when you get down to the nitty gritty stinger most people can only say hand on heart that they have 1, 2 or 3 really good friends so dont feel that youre any different on that score. Like people say its when times are hard that you find out who your real friends are. cool mate.
maybe a bunch of us could meet for a bit of snooker, a beer or something.....

[veebee]

Hi, welcome to the site - I'm sure you'll find it really useful. Everyone is really friendly and will help when it's tough.

Good to talk to you!

[juanna]

:welcome: Hi

We're all a bit like that here; need friends and people who understand anxiety.; nice to know we're all in the same boat....

[julieb]

Hello and welcome, anytime you feel like a chat feel free xx

[fretty freda]

hiya i am ithe exact same boat as you i know how u feeling were at the cross roads arnt we ! i just trying to keep thinking "this wont last forever " it cant do and dont forget "we wont get to were we want to go if we only travel on the sunny days " hope things look up for ya soon take care x

[megan769]

Hey Stinger,
I've always had problems making friends, to be honest if I didn't have my boyfriend (who means the absolute world to me) I wouldn't really have anyone. I don't get on great with my parents, and I find it hard to talk to my only sister. I also get that feeling you mentioned like I'm 'not really there' when I'm at work.
Anyway... hope you're okay :D xxx

[scooby28]

Hi and welcome you sound like me, I'm 28 and don't go out cos my two main friends have there own family's and lives to get on with.
It really gets me down at times not having anyone to do things with, i have been single for 7 weeks and i was with my ex a year i know thats not that long but it felt a long time and he was there for me when i needed someone to talk to during some bad times last year.
I find it hard to make friends cos i don't really go anywhere to meet people i joined a dating site but most people are too far away really and i met my ex on a dating site and he lived about 50 miles away so i only saw him weekends, it wasn't a problem at the time but being in that situation i now know i would prefere to meet someone closer, I don't really know any friendship sites for lonely people it would be good if there was one out there.

[TidusRawlings]

Hello

I know exactly how you are feeling, I moved from the midlands down to London about 4 years ago and when I got down here I made freinds with alot of my ex-partners freinds. The problem started ahen we split up, her freinds all abandoned me and then my anxiety started playing up and I do not go out much so never get to meet anyone. I am lucky in 1 way as I have a house mate who rents my spare room we get on really well but he recently got a girlfriend so i never see him at all now, i just spend my time playing computer games on my own. All i can reccomend really is seeing if there are any activity groups near you that interest you and go along. I am a little overweight so i joined a weight**tchers group and i have met some really nice people.


This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter

[samc100]

Hello !

Firstly you will make good mates on here. I am a private sort of person and I have made a really friend on here and I never thought I'd have an internet buddy...

It takes time for a friendship to evolve into a goodfriendship so be patient and just enjoy getting to know people.

Do look in your local paper/library etc for things that interest you so you know that if you go to that group/club you already have a common interest. That covers 3 things - keeps you busy and opens new interests and the doors to meeting new people!

[milly jones]

well stinger after knowing u for a couple of weeks in chat i wanted to say what a lovely bloke u are and such fun to be around

thank you for ur company

milly xx

[Liverbird67]

Hiya
Hope you are ok you will meet loads of mates on here, I am not particularly close to any one person, but everyone here is so welcoming and they make you feel part of the community.

Good Luck

Liverbird
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[freakedout]

Hi stinger,

I hope you make lots of new mates here, there are some cracking people on this site.

Take care & welcome

Freaky

[Krakers]

Hi Stinger, and welcome. You will meet lots of people here, as I did when I first joined and some are very good friends now, if only in a virtual way.

After a recent detox via my local services here, I've been advised to change all my circle of friends. Well, most of them anyway as they are enablers for some of my previous problems. Seems a bit harsh to me, but since the advice I've only really kept in touch with one or two people regularly and don't see them very often.

I do now get out and about quite a lot, and realise the difference between having virtual support and the benefits of having real people interaction. There are people here who meet up from time to time, so might be worth checking the forums to see if theres either a meet in your area, or has been previously. If theres been a previous one, then get in touch with those who went previously and try and arrange another. If not, its worth posting and arranging one yourself.

With that in mind I offer an open invite to anyone in my area (Wigan) that wants to go out, but feels they have no-one to go with. Even if its down the shops for an afternoon, I'm free most times anyway.

Just so everyone knows (as my profile doesn't show it), I'm a bloke and 37, although usually mix with a younger crowd.

Also, I'm planning to go to London (well, South Herts anyway) in a few weeks. This is only a plan at the moment as it'll be a big step for me to drive down there. Again if I do go its an open invite to anyone in that area.

Krakers.

[NeonPink]

I know exactly how you feel. I spend most of my time alone too. I came out of abusive relationship where basically I was not allowed friends and I feel have nobody so I know how you feel. I am in the berkshire area so your welcome to say hi if you want to.