can't cope anymore...

[mila]

I just don't know what to do with myself anymore, I am so so scared and I just can't cope anymore. I have terrible feelings in my head, all over, like a tightness at the back, pressure and like a burning feeling on top, and generally tightness all around. When the pressure gets worse I really start to panic and feel a bit sick. I can't stop being afraid of it and worrying what it is, and that is it stress coming to get me now... I have a lot of things going on right now and I'm scared of facing them and that they will do something terrible to me, this way through stress...I am in a happy relationship now, but I still have to find my ex to finish with a divorce and I just can't get in touch with him, we've been separated for almost 2 years...and I just want it all to be overed. I also just had my final exam yesterday, and now that is overed I have to figure out what i'm gonna do with my degree, and the pressure of finding a job and paying off the debts, i am just scared how all of this is going to affect me...I'm worried what is going to happen with my head if the stress continues...I just wanna cry and scream, I'm so fed up...

[mila]

I am writing again. Cause I am in a right state right now. I am trying to calm myself down, but i can't . Try to breathe deeply, but I can't. The fear has taken over me. I feel like my head is pulsating and it is going to explode, and I am so afraid. I know I am in the middle of panic, but that does not stop me fearing something terrible is going to happen to my head. I had to call the doctor and I'm going to see him this afternoon, but there's 3 hours til then and I don't know what i'm gonna do til then...
Didn't anybody feel this things in their head?

[bottleblond]

Hi Milly,

You seem to have a hell of alot going on at the moment gal. your ex, the divorce, exams ect. You have to try to find a place for all these things. Ok so you can't get in touch with your ex at the moment. now don't quote me on this but isn't there some kind of clause somewhere that says if your other half has been missing or out of touch for a certain legnth of time, you can apply to the courts for a divorce? Check that out with citizins advice or something but i'm quite sure there is something along those lines.

You finished your last exam yesterday? well...well done hun! please don't rush into any sudden choices, take a bit of time out to relax and re-charge your batteries (de-stress)

You sound to me that you have just got yourself so wound up and you don't know what to do about it. You made the right choice about going to the docs first of all. Do you do any kind of relaxation? any hobbies that makes you feel relaxed?

Please try to calm down a bit hun, Anxiety can make you feel pretty rubbish but it won't harm you. I honestly think you just need some time out to relax and get your head together.

Please let us know how your doc visit went

Very best of luck

Lisa
xxx

[jellybean43]

Hi
Awww please try to calm down a bit. I have seen my daughter like that ---she was really bad when she was in her final year of University!!
She said her head hurt on the top all the time, and she was very anxious.
I have never suffered this but i do get dreadful migraines with anxiety plus i suffer health anxiety ---worrying i have lymphoma despite various tests.
Right, you will soon be at the Drs and I am sure he/she will be able to put your mind at rest.
Plus all the stuff with a divorce(been there 15 years ago when i was 28 with 2 little kids---not nice at all!!!) wont be helping your stress level.
What i would do, but this is only my opinion, is try and have a break from everything for a few days.
You know just chill at home. Get up late, watch funny tv, read a good book, sit in the garden.I know this isnt always possible but if you can get the dr to sign you off ---you sound like you just need some rest.
Take care---I am sure you will be fine.
xxxxx

[jellybean43]

Hi again,
Yes bottleblond is right there is some clause that says you can get a divorce after so many years---it used to be 5 when i got divorced way back in 1993 but i THINK it is now 2 years as my brother is getting divorced at the moment.
Please check this out with your solicitor xxxxxx

[bottleblond]

Yeah i'm sure it's 2 also jelly!! can't remember where i heard it but i heard it somewhere (must have been having a blonde moment) :noangel:

xxx

[juanna]

Whoa Mila...
It's no wonder you're in a state you're overwhelmed by all these things going on; your life is like a merry go round and you just want to get off.

Go and see your doctor; it could be you need medication to calm you down before you can get all these things in proportion and begin to deal with them..

Slow down because you can't cope with all this right now; no one could. You need to stop being so hard on yourself & put yourself first. :ohmy:

[mila]

Bottleblonde, jelly, juanna...Thank you so much for support :hugs: Yeah, I have a lot on my plate now. I know where my ex lives so he can get the papers when I send it, it's just that I can't contact him at all, he never answeres his phone or any phone...So I hope he's still living there...I just want it all to be overed so I can get on with my life.
I have been really obssessing about blood pressure lately, and this head pressure and pulsating feeling got me panicked that that's happening...i was so sure...So i have been to the doctors and he took my blood pressure and said it was perfectly normal. I was happy for a second but then I started doubting it, coz while he was taking it I was scared and felt like my heart was beating faster...so how could my bp be as normal as he told me it was when i felt like that...i know, it's crazy...and my head is still feeling like it's just going to explode. The burning goes from the top to the back, and the tension is all over, even in my eyes, i have a feeling sometimes like they're gonna pop out...I have to find the way and just pull myself together, try to relax and try not to be scared.
Could these feelings in my head be due to neck tension? Cause I do feel some tension in my neck and shoulders as well.

[jellybean43]

Hi again
Glad you have been to the doctors. Right, so what did he say?
If your BP is fine that is a huge plus-----I think you just need to take some time out and chill.
I am sure all the pains are tension as my daughter suffered the same.
You will be fine------just a little "me" time. You have got a lot on at the moment xxx

[debstar]

Hi Millie,

I have exactly the same as you with the head thing. I have had this nearly everyday for over the last 2 years. I recently had 2 weeks without it and felt great, full of energy and 'normal' but it has come back again. If I could get rid of this feeling in my head I think my health anxiety would just about disappear.

[Gordon Nyabade]

Hi Millie,just read your posting with lots of prayers for you!Am sure there is time for everything and you will soon be out of all this!My personal advice to you to to try to lelax and be composed!Much of this situation links up with your past and present issues with your ex.As much as you can know that life is composed of both positive and negative circumstance and be willing to live positive,then I strongly believe things will be better soon.Try to focus on the spiritual as well...try prayers at times when you are lonely and alone in certain places such as in the park or at your garden yard...read a few verses of the Bible maybe Psalms 91 and meditate upon those verses for a while and utter some prayers to God.Visit any good church and share with the pastor for counseling!Am with you in my heart and prayers dear Milie!!Gordon Nyabade

[mila]

Thank you all.
Debbie, :hugs: , to feel this for 2 years, that is a long time...:ohmy:I've had it for couple of days and i'm freaking out lol It's my obssession with blood pressure getting to me here really. Still, i was starting to think I was the only one feeling this, that is another thing that can spiral u into panic. So thank you. Although I do wish neither of us would feel this :).

Gordon, thanks for the advice. And welcome, since I saw this was your first post (i'm priveliged:)) and you only just joined.

I have been thinking and fearing that I'm gonna work myself into panic again today, no matter what the doc said. If i manage not to that will be the start of getting better., i know the fear would start to faint. But if I do, i don't know...

[Vicki]

Hi Mila,

I get that same pulsating feeling in my head, and it's weird you mentioned you are worried about blood pressure cus that was my thought too! But mine is normal too. Although it feels sometimes like there's too much blood rushing around in my head, as if I've been upside down for too long or something.

Another weird thing is, one time I was convinced my heart was racing, I honestly believed it was beating way too fast. But I actually measured my pulse and my bpm was only 65! I did that twice (measured my pulse on my wrist with my fingers while watching a clock for a minute), same result, but I didn't believe it so I used my mum's oxymeter (I think that's what it's called? It's a thing you put on your finger and it shows your pulse rate and blood oxygen levels) and that too showed 65 bpm.

I guess my point is that when we focus on things so much they become hugely out of proportion and we imagine they are worse then they actually are. I get a load of different symptoms of anxiety and I didn't find that trying to relax worked because I couldn't relax, if I focussed on deep breathing for example I would just focus on my heart beating or the way my lungs were expanding and then convince myself it was wrong somehow. I actually find that distraction is really great, if I talk to someone or write in my blog or browse these forums, or watch some trashy tv. Then later when the panic is over I can focus on relaxing so it won't come back. I think distraction is a good way to bring yourself 'out of yourself' if that makes any sense at all, and get some perspective.

Anyway sorry to ramble on a bit but there's some great advice in this thread anyway, and good luck with the exam results and the divorce :)

*hugs* to you
:hugs:

[mila]

Hi Vicky, thanks, I think so too, when I try to relax and breathe deeply when i'm panicked, i just get worse,cause i focus on the breathing and trying to calm my heart, and if i manage to ditract myself that is the only way to stop it, and than i listen to relaxation tape mostly before going to bed.

I filled the papers, guys, and gonna send them off to court today so hopefully i should feel better about it now.

But there's another thing, i had a big argument with my mom today and i felt so scared this was gonna get me in the panic mode again, and my head symptoms will get worse. She doesn;t approve of my current relationship coz my partner is black and this morning she told me i have to choose...how can she say that, he is the most wonderful person in the world...I really felt so horrible, so let down...

Sorry about me keep bringing out my problems, guys, I just need to let out my feelings, i really feel so down about this, we were always so close before, can't believe that this could be happening...And now when I feel stressed anyway...

[AtmoLav]

Hey Millie and Debstar.

Just a little tip for you. Debstar, you said "If only I could get rid of this head pressure my healh anxiety would be gone."

You're looking at it backwards. Try this instead...

"If I can change my thoughts and become less anxious, then my head pressure would disappear."

Peace.