hi - just needed to talk...

[Vargr]

hi,
sorry to barge in on the forum but just needed to talk otherwise its gonna be one hell of a bad day.....

i've been self harming - mainly cutting, scratching and punching - for many years... the reason is no secret, nor was it hard for me to work out why i do it - ever since i can remember i've suffered from OCD... its been up and down over the years and when it got to much for me i'd cut myself.... simple.

i only tried to properly get help when i had to tell my partner about my OCD - i was having a particularly bad period and my OCD induced depression was pretty much imposible to hide... it was also at this time that i explained about the self - harming. she was great about it, and understood.... but understandably very upset - it has only happened a couple of times since then.

the problem is that i promised her i wouldn't do it again.... and with the medication if been on for a few months i havn't - but today for no apparant reason i'm having some kind of relapse and the feelings i used to get at my lowest points are with me again....

so now i'm sitting at my desk, trying to smile and be nice to people - but my brain is frying and all i can think about is the need to to feel the burn of my arms.....

i hate feeling like this ......

there, sorry - you'll prob never see me on this forum again as it was the 1st one i found and just wanted to get this out somewhere.... think i feel better for it too....

thanks - take care everyone.

Vargr :D

[sal]

Hi Vargr

You have done really well not self harming after you have for a long period of you life.

You are going to have days when a relapse may occur and that isnt unusual, hard i know but like any habit it wont disappear over night.

You need to look at how well you have done in such a short space of time and how understanding your partner has been.

Were you a bit hasty promising never to do it again, as that was a big step to take and a very brave one.

Try to focus on how well you have done and see if that helps you get through the day, then talk to your partner about how hard today has been and how much she was in your thoughts.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[seh1980]

hello Vargr,

Welcome to the forum!! You should be very proud of yourself for not having self-harmed for so long. It is great that you have the support of your partner now as you seem to have come along quite a ways..Don't beat yourself up about one little blip..

Sarah :D

[Meg]

Vargr,

Thoughts not instructions

You may be thinking about it but you don't have to follow the thoughts and transfer it into actions.

You have done incredibly well to date and it was always likely that you would encounter blips along the way so be proud of your progress and not beat yourself up terribly for having the blip.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...