Vargr
08-04-05, 09:14
hi,
sorry to barge in on the forum but just needed to talk otherwise its gonna be one hell of a bad day.....
i've been self harming - mainly cutting, scratching and punching - for many years... the reason is no secret, nor was it hard for me to work out why i do it - ever since i can remember i've suffered from OCD... its been up and down over the years and when it got to much for me i'd cut myself.... simple.
i only tried to properly get help when i had to tell my partner about my OCD - i was having a particularly bad period and my OCD induced depression was pretty much imposible to hide... it was also at this time that i explained about the self - harming. she was great about it, and understood.... but understandably very upset - it has only happened a couple of times since then.
the problem is that i promised her i wouldn't do it again.... and with the medication if been on for a few months i havn't - but today for no apparant reason i'm having some kind of relapse and the feelings i used to get at my lowest points are with me again....
so now i'm sitting at my desk, trying to smile and be nice to people - but my brain is frying and all i can think about is the need to to feel the burn of my arms.....
i hate feeling like this ......
there, sorry - you'll prob never see me on this forum again as it was the 1st one i found and just wanted to get this out somewhere.... think i feel better for it too....
thanks - take care everyone.
Vargr :D
sorry to barge in on the forum but just needed to talk otherwise its gonna be one hell of a bad day.....
i've been self harming - mainly cutting, scratching and punching - for many years... the reason is no secret, nor was it hard for me to work out why i do it - ever since i can remember i've suffered from OCD... its been up and down over the years and when it got to much for me i'd cut myself.... simple.
i only tried to properly get help when i had to tell my partner about my OCD - i was having a particularly bad period and my OCD induced depression was pretty much imposible to hide... it was also at this time that i explained about the self - harming. she was great about it, and understood.... but understandably very upset - it has only happened a couple of times since then.
the problem is that i promised her i wouldn't do it again.... and with the medication if been on for a few months i havn't - but today for no apparant reason i'm having some kind of relapse and the feelings i used to get at my lowest points are with me again....
so now i'm sitting at my desk, trying to smile and be nice to people - but my brain is frying and all i can think about is the need to to feel the burn of my arms.....
i hate feeling like this ......
there, sorry - you'll prob never see me on this forum again as it was the 1st one i found and just wanted to get this out somewhere.... think i feel better for it too....
thanks - take care everyone.
Vargr :D