thevoicewithinme
21-05-08, 10:10
I sometimes write my feelings down in the form of poetry and thought that I would share this one with you all.
I wasn't sure where to put it, so have put it in here.
I live behind a mask so nobody will know,
the fear that I live with and find hard to show.
People looking in at me think I am fine,
Oh how I wish they knew how I struggle all of the time.
A mother of six such beautiful children,
too frightened to go out on her own apart from the garden.
So fed up with living behind this damn mask,
please someone help me, is all that I ask!
Too much hurt in this pitiful life,
twice married and now no longer a wife.
First husband died, and god I miss him so,
Second husband is nothing but a lowlife glad to see him go!
I put up a wall, which I live behind,
frightened to let people in, in case they are kind.
I want to be loved, for someone to see,
that behind this mask is a loveable me.
I spend each day here at home,
on the pc or talking to my mum on the phone.
I want to be outside, leading a normal life,
instead, reality is trouble and strife.
To have some friends would be such bliss,
but I guess by not having any I won't be missed.
By missed, I mean not going out,
Not, ending it all and that I swear without a doubt.
So much hate for myself inside,
Afraid to show my face, no wonder I hide.
Why don't people like me? I would make a good friend,
Perhaps its their loss in the end.
The urge to self harm can be so hard to control,
I once did it regularly but not for me no more.
Instead I sit here and cry and cry,
asking over and over...why oh why.
Why can't I have my life back, why can't I be me?
Why can't I go outside and let the world see?
That the real me is fun, loving and caring,
And that I have so much love that needs sharing.
My children are my life, my pride and joy.
One beautiful girl and five handsome boys.
They are the reason that I keep on fighting this horrible fear,
They are the reason that I am still here.
I'm sorry to burden you with all my trouble,
Briefly, I have let you inside of my safe little bubble.
For people to accept me, is all that I ask,
Then, just maybe...I can take off this mask.
Kaz
I wasn't sure where to put it, so have put it in here.
I live behind a mask so nobody will know,
the fear that I live with and find hard to show.
People looking in at me think I am fine,
Oh how I wish they knew how I struggle all of the time.
A mother of six such beautiful children,
too frightened to go out on her own apart from the garden.
So fed up with living behind this damn mask,
please someone help me, is all that I ask!
Too much hurt in this pitiful life,
twice married and now no longer a wife.
First husband died, and god I miss him so,
Second husband is nothing but a lowlife glad to see him go!
I put up a wall, which I live behind,
frightened to let people in, in case they are kind.
I want to be loved, for someone to see,
that behind this mask is a loveable me.
I spend each day here at home,
on the pc or talking to my mum on the phone.
I want to be outside, leading a normal life,
instead, reality is trouble and strife.
To have some friends would be such bliss,
but I guess by not having any I won't be missed.
By missed, I mean not going out,
Not, ending it all and that I swear without a doubt.
So much hate for myself inside,
Afraid to show my face, no wonder I hide.
Why don't people like me? I would make a good friend,
Perhaps its their loss in the end.
The urge to self harm can be so hard to control,
I once did it regularly but not for me no more.
Instead I sit here and cry and cry,
asking over and over...why oh why.
Why can't I have my life back, why can't I be me?
Why can't I go outside and let the world see?
That the real me is fun, loving and caring,
And that I have so much love that needs sharing.
My children are my life, my pride and joy.
One beautiful girl and five handsome boys.
They are the reason that I keep on fighting this horrible fear,
They are the reason that I am still here.
I'm sorry to burden you with all my trouble,
Briefly, I have let you inside of my safe little bubble.
For people to accept me, is all that I ask,
Then, just maybe...I can take off this mask.
Kaz