First Time Poster, Not too long sufferer.

[MatthewH]

Im not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i suppose its as good a place as any!
Last year, i had my first panic attack. I was in bed with my girlfriend and the next thing i knew, i had pins and needles in my left arm. My first thought was instantly 'Oh god, im having a heart attack!' and i really went into a mess. I was sick, couldnt move, hands clenched etc... My girlfriend had to ring an ambulance, i didnt have a clue what was going on. So they say to me its JUST a panic attack, and ill be fine.
Since that day, ive had only one other attack, while again on way to a hospital.
The main problem i seem to have is that if i go out somewhere with my girlfriend, or if i go shopping or for a drink with friends, i always seem to feel really sick for the first hour or so. I tried to go out for a birthday last year (the other halfs) and i couldnt even make it out the door. I felt like such a let down.
I dont know what this is, i dont know if its anxiety, or mild panic attacks, or what, but it really gets me down sometimes.
The weird thing is, im a soldier, and ive been all over the world doing my job, and have never even had an incling of any problems. It always seems to happen if i go shopping or for a drink with friends. Its especially bad when im with my girlfriend. She is very understanding about it, and supports me, but i still worry when im around her.
Please please can somebody help me to overcome my fear of going out to restaurants etc, so that i can finally be a decent boyfriend!

(If this post is in the wrong section, i do apologise and please feel free to remove/delete)

[Kate408]

Hey

Try not to worry. Have you tried talking to your girlfriend? Maybe if you knew she understood, you wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself? I know that if the people around are ok if I have a panic, then I don't! If she said to you, "it's completely ok if we have to go home, or can't even go out if you're feeling bad" wouldn't that help? You would feel much calmer and more than likely be able to go out! :)

Also, is there anything that's going on in your life that is stressful at the moment? or just recently? Maybe that's what has brought it on?

I'm sure there are more people on here who can give better advice, but I thought i'd try! :)
xxxx

[marie1974]

hi and welcome, this is a great site and full of lovely people who will give u advice support ands hugs too. you will meet new friend and realise too that these problems we have are very common. hugs and keep smiling xxxxx

[MatthewH]

Hi Kate.

Basically i think maybe because my first attack was when i was with my girlfriend, and i saw how upset it made her, im worried ill do the same again.

We do have a good understanding together, and the fact shes just completed a psychology degree has been a big help. I think another problem is when we do go out, she always asks if im ok and if i want to go home. I just feel like a bit of a let down saying "yeah, i dont feel good, can we go home".

It gets to the point where i dont want to disappoint, so i just grit my teeth and bear it. Sometimes the anxiety goes away, some times i end up being physically sick.

On a point of gritting teeth, i had to go to the dentist today. All they were doing was putting some seals on my teeth. I was sat there, with cardboard in my mouth, feeling fine, then the next thing i can only think about is 'What if i have a panic atack now, how stupid will i look?'

I started to feel very claustrophobic, and worried, and then thought well if it happens, theres nothing i can do, so just grin (Well, not so much grin, but its hard to do with cardboard in your mouth and some great big metal suction thing!) and bear it. I got through the whole thing, and i didnt feel proud or anything. I was hoping something like this might give me a bit of a sense of achievement, but i didnt really think about it until just now.

Ive always been a little bit more stressed. As i mentioned earlier, im a soldier, so im based away from my girlfriend. Its a long drive, but the first time i had an attack was just after i got back from the Balkans. The fact im going on a 6 month tour of Baghdad tomorrow doesnt insire much confidence into me, and the last few nights ive had some rough times trying to get to sleep. I dont think i got a wink last night.

All i can think about is what if the worst happens. I dont want to let my mates down, and its doing my head in! At the same time though, ive been before, ive been to Afghanistan, even Beirut (long story) plus other places, but ive never had anxiety or panic while ive been on tours.

I just dont know, it just confuses me why i cant even do a simple thing like go out for a drink with my girlfriend but i can go away to a foreign country, and be fine.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

[chalky]

Hi Matthew,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Kate408]

Are you worried about going abroad this time then? If so, is there anyone in welfare you can talk to?
If you're jsut worried about spending time with your girlfriend and friends, you need to realise that it's ok to panic in front of people. It doesn't matter what they think. If they're your friends, then they'll be ok with it. If they're not, then it doesn't matter. You're not putting anyone out if you have a panic. I mean, if you're out with your mates and have a panic, does it matter if you go home early? Could you just say you've got a headache? or you ate a bad kebab the night before? (not sure if that would set you up for more ridicule though!) Surely they wont mind?
Good luck in Baghdad. Hope you come back safely!
xxx