Boo!

[Bill]

If someone shouts "BOO!" and makes us jump, we may jump out of our skin!:scared15:

If our minds think a frightening thought whether it's based on something we've actually thought, heard, seen or felt, we dwell on that thought until we create a panic attack.

Sometimes we don't have to be aware of thinking a thought to induce a panic because we've programmed a panic reaction within ourselves so it becomes instinctive under certain circumstances.

If someone says "BOO!", we can learn to laugh it off!:D

In the same way, we can teach ourselves not to create our panics by not allowing frightening thoughts and feelings to get at us by allowing the thoughts and feelings to go through us as if they don't exist.

I did used to suffer panic attacks but mine were caused by pressures in my life and once those pressures were eased, the panics stopped. However, I also learnt not to be afraid of them or of anxious feelings which I still get. It's because I don't think about having a panic, panics don't happen. The mind is much more deceitful and powerful than we realise because it's our mind and the way it thinks that causes our panics but we Can tame it so that we regain control of our thoughts and therefore our reactions.:hugs:

[mandie]

Bill, how did u learn not to be afraid of the attacks and how do u not think of them.

I cant get the thoughts out of my head

love mandie x

[milly jones]

aw bill,

u fancy a job as a counsellor?

u always know what to say

thanks

millyxx

[dawny]

bill, you are so right.

another excellent thread

dawny

[nanny]

Hi bill

As long as i have know you you have always had something constructive to say.

A big thanks:)

[pooh]

A great post Bill. Although I don't always respond, that extra number on times the thread is viewed is my nod of acknowledgment.

I think of it this way.... if some was to ask you a question, how do you respond? Are you aggressive or passive in response, are you reasonable or timid? Do you take a moment to think of a reply or do you go right ahead and stick your foot in your mouth? lol

Well when we start to feel our anxiety our body is asking us a question and the key is learning how to respond. Bill has learned to give that question the right answer. We all can..sometimes with the hardest work, patience, self acceptance and sometimes some of us even need to take some medication to get the answer right.

Our thought processes are a powerful thing that we can exert control over...even if it doen't feel like it sometimes.

So the next time your body puts that question to you...to panic or not to panic? Take a moment and think about what you want to say back and do it with conviction.

Pooh x

[thevoicewithinme]

Bill, I have to agree with what everyone else says here, you are always so right...and yes you would make an excellent counsellor :)

I do keep trying to tell myself to ignore the anxiety, because yes I do know that it's the worrying about the knot in my stomach that will bring on a panic attack when I go out. I very very rarely have them indoors, until I start thinking I have got to go to such and such a place, then straight away, I get that tingling feeling in my chest, and a knot in my stomach.

So how did you manage to retrain your thoughts?

Kaz

[never2late]

How true, Bill.

After all these years I'm just now beginning to understand that I don't feel this way, I think this way.

[Bill]

Bill, how did u learn not to be afraid of the attacks and how do u not think of them.

I cant get the thoughts out of my head

I can only say what worked for me but for me, there were 2 parts to the puzzle.

Firstly though, I just want to say I agree with you say Pooh.:hugs:

My panics were brought on by too much pressure in my life causing me to feel "trapped". I feel it's this "trapped" feeling that is the main cause to our panics because it activates the feeling of wanting to fight or flee.

In my case, I've always suffered from anxiety from a young age but when things became too much more me to cope with both at home and at work, the panics then began.

Sometimes when we're feeling under too much pressure, we can even feel just out of breath when walking because the pressure we're feeling causes us to shallow breathe.

So my first step was to find ways to ease the pressures in my life. Full time working together with caring for my wife was simply too much for me so I had to give up something before I tipped myself over the edge. I decided to give up the job.

I must admit though that just giving up the job didn't immediately stop the panics because just the pressures I was under in the home were still too much. I went through a very bad spell going down in a spiral which led me to self-harm and overdoses because I could see no way out of the pain and anxiety I was feeling. I had some bad attacks during this spell too and so kept a paper bag handy to breathe in. I also found the paper bag gave me a security blanket.

However, it was only after a doctor told me "one more of them and I might not be here" combined with hearing of others in my situation committing suicide, that I realised that rather than give up and lose my life, I could instead try to reach out to others to try to help them which in return would help me in not feeling so alone.

Once I changed my attitude and things began to improve, I then felt stronger so I could tackle the remaining main pressures - my wife and her illness. I pressed for all I could to get support for her which then eased pressure off me. My only frustration has always been that the carer is neglected and we are left to help ourselves.

However, once things were in place for better support for my wife, I then felt more free of my trap and felt able to look for things for myself. I decided to look for another job and eventually found an evening job with the NHS. From there I worked in different areas but sadly I lost my father on the ward I was working on which knocked my confidence back so I moved on to bank contract work but I admit they haven't asked me for help for some time now. I do still work for the Red Cross though and every day there is always something to do.

All the above was a very gradual process. It was October 1995 when I was suddenly hit with a sensation of falling down a black hole and then the suicidal thoughts began. In June 1996 I gave up my job but soon after the self harming began together with the overdoses. It wasn't until 2000 that I managed to break free of medication, 2002 before I got help for my wife and from about 2003 that I started to change my life around.

Anyway, to sum up, the first half of my puzzle was to ease the pressures causing my panics but the actual fear the panics had caused were still there.

Pressure can can created by other things and not just work or home life. Pressure can also be created by past bad experiences which leaves a sense of anger and frustration so in our minds we can still feel trapped by pressures created from the past. If we store alot of anger and can't release it, the anger can cause anxiety which can lead to panic.

So the second part of my puzzle was to change my thinking but it wasn't an active conscious thought. Panics are caused by us consciously worrying and thinking about them whether it's because of the thought of them or connected to symptoms. Often we're worrying about having a panic before we even get out the door so that as soon as we step outside, the panics start. If we worry about having a panic in a shop, then we Will have a panic.

I found that the only way to conquer my panics was to "keep going" despite the fear of them. If I started to feel panicky which I often did, I made sure I didn't "think" about those feelings by finding something to distract my mind.

The "fear" of panics causes us to "think" about them ALL the time but once the fear begins to diminish, you are then able to stop thinking about them because they no longer scare you. To achieve that stage for me was gradual by not allowing the fear from preventing me from what I wanted to do. If I wanted to go out, I'd go out. I would be worried before I went out but once I was out, I would think about what I wanted to "Do" rather than worry about how I was "feeling". If you can train the mind to "not think" about panic, then they don't occur because your confidence then builds each time you've been out.

When I go out now, I might feel anxious at times but I'm not thinking what if I get a panic attack. I'm thinking about what I need to do and focus on those things. Once I'm out and I begin to relax because I'm not thinking about my feelings, I don't even think about being anxious.

Imagine playing a sport or taking an exam. Beforehand you'll feel anxious but once you focus on the match or the exam, your mind is so engrossed by what you need to DO that you "forget" our feelings.

Remember, panics are caused by "thinking and dwelling" on "feelings" but if you focus your mind "outwardly", you forget your feelings and the panics stop occurring.

It doesn't stop overnight so you Must be patient. If you're impatient, you'll be adding pressure and we know what pressure does!

Sorry that's long winded but that's how I stopped my panics by easing my pressures then changing my thinking.:hugs: