AtmoLav
22-05-08, 16:35
I’ve learned more about myself over the past 6 months on here than I thought possible, and I’m getting there on my journey to relief from anxiety – although I’m nowhere near being there yet. I’m maybe at 60%. This should be my last post.
I just wanted to share some of the stuff I think I’ve learned, in the case that it might help.
1) Never believe anything you hear or read
This might seem a random thing to say, but my point is that just because someone’s written it down somewhere doesn’t make it true. Likewise, just because someone’s said something to you doesn’t make it true. Everything that is written or published is opinion, not fact.
Every time you Google something, you get a range of opinions. That’s all it is. That’s all there is. There is not fact, only opinions. This applies to this entire post – it’s my opinion and you have a choice – to believe it or not to believe it. I strongly believe that the majority of anxious people tend to believe more than they dismiss – or at least they tend to believe the catastrophic stuff instead of the more “toned down” versions (maybe that’s why the media are so successful?)
If you’re going to Google a symptom, then make sure you only visit sites written by people who know what they’re on about. For the avoidance of doubt, places like Wikipedia, or WebDoctor or whatever are contributory sites where lots of people can post their opinions. This doesn’t make anything true.
Instead, believe in the stuff that makes you happy. No-one knows if it's true, but stuff it - it makes you happy right? So believe in it.
2) Be careful who you ask for help
One of the reasons I’m leaving the forum is that I’m not convinced that it can help me any further. I’m on my own from now on, and that’s the way it’s got to be.
Part of the reason for this is that I’ve come to the conclusion that if I need to seek re-assurance, I’m better off asking people who aren’t anxious people. I don’t mean any offence by this, but I figure that if I ask someone with similar thought patterns to myself as to what they think of symptom X, Y or Z, they’re likely to respond in the same way I’ve already responded.
3) Be careful how you respond to posts on here
Further to the above, I think people need to be a lot more careful as to how they respond to posts on here. Lots of people read them.
I’ve seen so many posts which say
“Hi guys, I have and I’m really worried. Is it anxiety or is it [insert life-threatening condition here]?”
Then lots of people reply with:
“oooh, I had that and it turned out to be [some physical problem]”, or “go to the GP” or something similar.
This is damaging to someone’s state of mind, in my opinion. People come on here to seek re-assurance, but on several occasions I’ve left more panicked because someone’s suggested something I hadn’t already thought about.
4) Re-assurance is an addiction
The more reassurance you seek, the more you need in the future. You’ll find that reassurance will stop working…you’ll need more, more, more. You’ll have multiple tests, all which come back normal and still you need more. Not having re-assurance makes you feel ill. You need it, you crave it, you want it. Sounds like an addiction to me – and an unhealthy one at that.
Try and learn to accept that you feel the way you feel and challenge yourself. Try to stop asking for reassurance all the time.
What will be will be and there’s nothing you can do about it. So don’t let your every waking minute be distracted by worrying about what might be.
5) Eventually, you need to go it alone
This is what I’ve learned. I need to go and get on with my life now.
The more you feed this anxiety beast – the more you try to work out what it is and how to stop it, the more you pay attention to it. The more you learn about it, the more deep you get into it.
I’ll leave you with the words of a very corny Noel Gallagher – who’s written about anxiety so many times. Here’s my own personal fave…..
Good luck. Enjoy the ride ;-)
[I]What tongueless ghost of sin crept through my curtains?
Sailing on a sea of sweat on a stormy night
I think he don't got a name but I can't be certain
And in me he starts to confide
That my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And if you hear me tap on your window
Better get on yer knees and pray…panic is on the way
My pulse pumps out a beat to the ghost dancer
My eyes are dead and my throat's like a black hole
And if there's a god would he give another chancer
An hour to sing for his soul
Cos my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And when you hear me tap on yer window
Yer better get on yer knees and pray panic is on the way
I just wanted to share some of the stuff I think I’ve learned, in the case that it might help.
1) Never believe anything you hear or read
This might seem a random thing to say, but my point is that just because someone’s written it down somewhere doesn’t make it true. Likewise, just because someone’s said something to you doesn’t make it true. Everything that is written or published is opinion, not fact.
Every time you Google something, you get a range of opinions. That’s all it is. That’s all there is. There is not fact, only opinions. This applies to this entire post – it’s my opinion and you have a choice – to believe it or not to believe it. I strongly believe that the majority of anxious people tend to believe more than they dismiss – or at least they tend to believe the catastrophic stuff instead of the more “toned down” versions (maybe that’s why the media are so successful?)
If you’re going to Google a symptom, then make sure you only visit sites written by people who know what they’re on about. For the avoidance of doubt, places like Wikipedia, or WebDoctor or whatever are contributory sites where lots of people can post their opinions. This doesn’t make anything true.
Instead, believe in the stuff that makes you happy. No-one knows if it's true, but stuff it - it makes you happy right? So believe in it.
2) Be careful who you ask for help
One of the reasons I’m leaving the forum is that I’m not convinced that it can help me any further. I’m on my own from now on, and that’s the way it’s got to be.
Part of the reason for this is that I’ve come to the conclusion that if I need to seek re-assurance, I’m better off asking people who aren’t anxious people. I don’t mean any offence by this, but I figure that if I ask someone with similar thought patterns to myself as to what they think of symptom X, Y or Z, they’re likely to respond in the same way I’ve already responded.
3) Be careful how you respond to posts on here
Further to the above, I think people need to be a lot more careful as to how they respond to posts on here. Lots of people read them.
I’ve seen so many posts which say
“Hi guys, I have and I’m really worried. Is it anxiety or is it [insert life-threatening condition here]?”
Then lots of people reply with:
“oooh, I had that and it turned out to be [some physical problem]”, or “go to the GP” or something similar.
This is damaging to someone’s state of mind, in my opinion. People come on here to seek re-assurance, but on several occasions I’ve left more panicked because someone’s suggested something I hadn’t already thought about.
4) Re-assurance is an addiction
The more reassurance you seek, the more you need in the future. You’ll find that reassurance will stop working…you’ll need more, more, more. You’ll have multiple tests, all which come back normal and still you need more. Not having re-assurance makes you feel ill. You need it, you crave it, you want it. Sounds like an addiction to me – and an unhealthy one at that.
Try and learn to accept that you feel the way you feel and challenge yourself. Try to stop asking for reassurance all the time.
What will be will be and there’s nothing you can do about it. So don’t let your every waking minute be distracted by worrying about what might be.
5) Eventually, you need to go it alone
This is what I’ve learned. I need to go and get on with my life now.
The more you feed this anxiety beast – the more you try to work out what it is and how to stop it, the more you pay attention to it. The more you learn about it, the more deep you get into it.
I’ll leave you with the words of a very corny Noel Gallagher – who’s written about anxiety so many times. Here’s my own personal fave…..
Good luck. Enjoy the ride ;-)
[I]What tongueless ghost of sin crept through my curtains?
Sailing on a sea of sweat on a stormy night
I think he don't got a name but I can't be certain
And in me he starts to confide
That my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And if you hear me tap on your window
Better get on yer knees and pray…panic is on the way
My pulse pumps out a beat to the ghost dancer
My eyes are dead and my throat's like a black hole
And if there's a god would he give another chancer
An hour to sing for his soul
Cos my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And when you hear me tap on yer window
Yer better get on yer knees and pray panic is on the way