My Heart's Desire

[mtatum4496]

A friend of mine, who is a counselor, posed a challenge to me yesterday. She challenged me to identify five specific desires of my heart in relation to my illness. She stressed they could not be more than five or less than five, and could not be general. After thinking about it for awhile, I came up with my five.

I'm sharing them here, hoping that perhaps this activity will provide some encouragement or inspiration for others.

Here's my five:

1. I desire to be in control enough to travel the five hundred miles that are between me and my son, gather him into my arms, and tell him face to face how much I love him.

2. I desire to feel joy, excitement, and anticipation of good things to come when someone calls and wants me to join him or her for a meal out, rather than stopping to wonder if the noise in the restaurant will be at a tolerable level so I won't have a panic attack or have to fight heightened levels of anxiety the entire time.

3. I desire to wake up in the morning with a sense of calm and happiness, and the drive to plunge into my daily tasks with zest and expectation.

4. I desire to be able to notice I am out of eggs, and be able to jump in the car and head to the market with no hesitation or uncertainty.

5. I desire to be able to wake up one morning, judge it to be a beautiful day, and take off for the coast and spend the day playing in the water and laying in the sun, without giving my mental and emotional state a second thought.

[Lilith1980]

They are great hun :yesyes:

So, how are you going to go about achieving these? ;)

Jo xxxxx

[neptuno]

I think we could all benefit freom doing this. My 5 would be...

1. I desire to feel the certainty of recovery in every fibre of my being.

2. I desire to go fearlessly on holiday with my husband with real joy.

3. I desire to have full control of my anxiety symptoms.

4. I desire to thank everyone who is supporting me through this trying time without breaking down into a sobbing heap.

5. I desire to be me.


What are your desires ?

[mtatum4496]

They are great hun :yesyes:

So, how are you going to go about achieving these? ;)

Jo xxxxx

Jo, with baby steps every day. I get out of the house thirty minutes each day, rain or shine. I try to use various methods such as EFT to impact the anxiety level when I do try to go out for a meal with friends. They are so kind to go with me to restaurants that are relatively quiet, so I have half a chance of being able to capture a moment or two of enjoyment.

I communicate with my son through emails and phone calls and we sometmes talk about what we will do once I can come see him again.

I have taken out old photos of me and loved ones at the beach and stuck some of them on the refrigerator door, where I see them each time I enter the kitchen.

I am exercising more each day as one way to combat the anxiety and hopefully it will work with the other tools I am using to ultimately bring the anxiety under control - then I should be able to deal more effectively with the agoraphobia.

I figure once I reach a point where the constant level of anxiety that I feel no matter where I am begins to wane when I am in my "safe" places, I will know I am on the way to recovery and achieving the desires of my heart.

[Lilith1980]

Baby steps is a good route hun, you sound like you're on the right track so keep it up :hugs:

Jo xxxxx

[mtatum4496]

Thank you, Jo. I've got my eye on the prize and I am going to give it my best shot.

Neptuno, that looks like a fine list to me. May we each find ways to realize the desires of our hearts.