View Full Version : Obsessed with HIV
Hello I am new to this site, stumbled across it while obsessively googling while I am meant to be revising for exams!!
I put myself in a stupid situation about 5 years ago, and another one about 7 years ago, which has made me convinced I am HIV+.
Now i have an amazing boyfriend for the last 3 years and everything is great apart from I still have these worries which he doesnt know about. I had a test 3 months and 1 week after the encounter 5 years ago and I thought this would alleiviate my worries, but since then I have read some info on the internet that it can take 6 months to show up. I have been frantically scouring all sorts of websites, some which confirm this and some which still say 6 months. Its driving me crazy and has been in my mind for several years now....
The symptoms which I have are a very dry mouth (could this be anxiety I dont know?!?) and I have also had ringworm twice over the last 3 years. I also had an abnormal smear result and have had treatment for that.
What do you guys think? I know that the only answer is to go get another test but I cant bring myself to do it....
xxxxxxx
3 months is when they test you for HIV in the UK. They only ask the person to come back for a retest at 6 months after the encounter if they know for sure they were at a high risk, ie if the other person has HIV, drug user....etc.
The risk of actually contracting HIV if the person you are sleeping with HAS HIV is 0.5%, that is if the person you are sleeping with has HIV so you can see its a very very low risk. Its actually quiet a difficult virus to contract, it is repeated encounters with a high risk partner that would put you at a greater risk.
If you are that concerned get a retest (I know this is scary) but its the only way you will know for sure. I know its easy for me to say but honestly do not worry about the illness you have had, the symptoms of HIV are very hard to pinpoint.
Thanks so much for the reply Cherry3
What I don't get is, why do it at 6 months for a high risk if everyone should develop at the same rate? The only reason I can think of this happening is if a high risk person were put on the PEP anti-viral drugs and so this would make it take longer to develop? I can't find any conclusive evidence for this on the internet...
The person 7 years ago was high risk, don't want to go into too much gory detail but I know that he was as I found out after. The one five years ago I have no idea about, was a drunken encounter and even now I am fairly convinced I had my drink spiked, and that is all very hazy so I am not entirely sure what happened then, but I have presumed the worst.
Have been practically celibate for about 4 years now because of this, and I know that I am upsetting my boyfriend alot with it, I can't discuss the whole thing with him though.....
I looked up ringworm, and dry mouth and abnormal smear results on the internet and they all flag up HIV which is why I am more and more obsessed....
You're right tho, I should go for another test, it never seems to be the right time and I definately can't go now as I have exams next two weeks...
Arg.
Thanks for your help!!
xx
Kate,
I had a casual encounter when I was 19. I did not have a test until I was 30. That was 11 years of on and off anxiety. there was no need. I was not HIV.
Get the test hunny. Put your mind at rest, it is the only real way.
Happyone
xx
hi kate have another one to put yr mind at rest and im pretty sure you are fine but for your own piece of mind u should do it. after that u should just enjoy life and not worry anymore cos im sure u will be fine anyway and u sound like u got lovely bf so enjoy him and life hugs to u xxxxxxxxx
Thanks guys, I know you are right but I just can't do it, have been like this for like 4 years now, is very silly really, and I know my own advice would be to take another test too....
So if it were you and you had had a negative test at over 3 months you would think you should take another one if you had my symptoms? Is this because you think my symptoms are suspicious or just because you think it would put my mind at rest? (sorry to be over-analytical!!)
I might go to the doctors this week about the dry mouth anyway this week and ask them what they think. I will prob chicken out though....
my boyfriend is lovely and it makes my anxiety about it worse as i am scared to death of it affecting him...
thanks again xxxx
hiya i purely think to put your mind at rest hun cos all this worrying will make u ill and have pysical symptoms that u will think is something else. please be brave and do it u will be fine hugs xxxxxx
Thanks for your advice Donna & happyone. I think it is making me ill and feels like it is controlling my entire life, feel like I shouldnt be thinking about the future as it probably won't happen for me anyway...
not sure how long it will take me to go for another test, I dunno if I would even believe it if I did anyway, as I am convinced my last test wasn't done right....
Does anyone have a view on the 3 month thing?
xx
cant help with 3 month thing but, u really must try pluck up courage to just go have it done cos otherwise u are gonna carry up being really unhappy. when it says negative u must believe it even ask the doc percentage of it being right just for peace of mind and thenu must try to forget. also does yr bf know anything of u worrying aout this? if not i really think mayb u should tell him yr worry cos he may just give u extra support. please go though im sure u worrying about nothing but u will waste your whole life with this prob otherwise when u should be enjoying yr life hugs xxxxx
he sort of does, I told him about it in the past but he knows i had the three month test years ago so he thinks that it is a thing of the past. I am blaming the current physical problem of our relationship on the fact that I had to have treatment for my abnormal smears and telling him that this is the reason that I am put off....makes me feel guilty tho as we are quite young (i am 28) and I shouldn't be denying him really...
I am all upset now
what a mess!!!
xx
oh hun, please dont be upset. why not be honest and tell him exactly how u feel and mayb he will go with u to have the test to put yr mind at rest. i really think until u do this u are gonna be feeling like this. yr bf sounds lovely and u too could be havin a lovely time. i do feel for u cos i had health anxiety while back and was awful but i am ok now but please dont waste yr life worrying hugs xxxxxxxxxx
You will be fine Kate, 75% of people seroconvert by 4-6 weeks.
Get the test if its going to rule your life but I honestly don't thnk you need to worry at all.
Hi Kate07,
Please go and have another HIV test purely to put your mind at rest.
They do the test after 3 months in the UK because that is long enough to be certain that your body would have developed antigens to the virus. If it needed longer in some people, they would do the test after 4 months or whatever. They do it after 3 months because they are certain that if you have HIV it will show in your blood test within that time. They test after 6 months in cases where a person is known to have been in close contact with an HIV positive patient purely to reassure the patient/make sure the results were not mixed up/make sure they did not get a false negative (which is so rare it's practically unheard of).
The symptoms you have had do not have anything to do with HIV so please don't even think that. This whole thing is having an effect on your health and your relationship which is a shame so for your own peace of mind please tell somebody and go and have another test.
Love and hugs from shoegal xxx :flowers:
Kate,
Over those 11 years I had dry mouth, lightheadedness, recurring colds, sore throats, mouth ulcers, yellowing of the eyes, furry tongue……to name but a few. All symptoms that I thought must be HIV. None of them were! They are all things that can quite easily happen over an 11 year period! Seriously hunny, I know how ill I made myself. I would put it to one side for a while and think “ok, you have got over this and you are not HIV” but it would always creep back. I had a baby. I spent her first 4 years being convinced I had given her HIV and had her back and forth to the doctors. Eventually I had to give in and get the test. I had a second child and thankfully my health anxiety where she is concerned has never been as bad.
On saying that, I think you should not worry as you had the test at 3 months. The chances of you being HIV are probably about a billion to one!
But if you are not going to be reassured, you are going to need some help somehow as it is controlling your life. See if a test will put your mind at rest. If not, maybe speak to a doc who can refer you for some counselling or CBT to help you.
Take care
Happyone
x
Thanks for all your kind words guys, you've been really supportive.
Happyone, I am just like that, I can have like a day of feeling happy about it thinking oh thats it I definately dont have it, for example I had a verrucae that I managed to get rid of and was thinking if I am HIV I would have had about 10 of them and they wouldn't go away and then I get something like the dry mouth for ages and I'm back to being convinced again. I'm also checking my boyfriend for any signs all the time, everytime he has a cold I am convinced it is my fault....
You are all right tho I know, another test is the answer. I told my best friend a bit about this a couple of months ago and she said she would take me for it. I think I will go see the doc about my mouth this week and see what they say...
Thanks to you all!
xxx
Let us know how you get on hunny. What I can tell you with no doubt............
dry mouth can be caused by anxiety!
take care
Happyone
xxx
hi kate check out the advice on jennies thread too as very similar to u but u will be fine hun honest no need to panic just peace of mind xxxxx
Hi guys, thanks for your help on this, I might be getting somewhere, phoned Terrence Higgins Trust yesterday, cried down the phone to the poor guy for about an hour, anyway, he thinks this is an anxiety issue, and thought I should be referred to a counsellor through my GP. He told me off for trying to constantly self diagnose myself as I am not a health professional and he said that my test was conclusive and that i dont need another. (he did start off by saying it was 99.5% conclusive which freaked me out again as that still means 1 in 200 is wrong!! but apparently a false positive is more likely than a false negative).
So i was sort of reassured by him but still not convinced.
So...then I went to GP this morning and she said that I definately do not have oral thrush, just a dry mouth from anxiety,and also that ringworm often reoccurs once you have had it once.
She's convinced me to have a blood test this afternoon, just a general test to show me if there is any abnormality there. She also offered me another hiv test for peace of mind but i am not having this yet coz I can't face it. If my general one comes back ok i will see how i feel then....
eeeek
Anyway, back to revision. Hope you guys all have a good day!
xx
crunchie01
28-05-08, 17:39
hi kate
i have also cried down the phone to a guy at terrence hiigins trust and he was fantastic he also said it was anxiety and maybe i need counselling to deal with the underlying issues i have which is grief counselling.i have today been back to my gp to see the main man :) i explained my situation to him a one night stand 5 years ago etc i asked him what the chances are he said no matter what he says to me i will still worry,he knows me so well lol,anyway he said one incidence 5 years ago pretty remote chance of catching it.i believed him and he was right it hasnt settled me and i have started twisting what he said to me in my mind,but i have also got to think 2 gps,1 nurse,3 people at tht trust over the past year and a nurse at the local gum clinic i rung for advice have told me it is pretty unlikely i will have it after one incidence 5 years ago and i would know by now as i would more than likely be poorly not just with normal every day stuff but with pretty major stuff,i wish i could listen to my own advice sometimes i really do ;) but please try not to worry i am in exactly the same boat as you,he also advised i get a notebook and write down everything everyone has told me an d everytime i think ive got it to read it.hope this helps
jenniexx
Hi jennie,
Yes, I rang THT because I read on your post that you had rang them, previously I thought they wouldnt want to speak to me because they had more important people to deal with, but the guy was really good - sounds like they have people like us on a fairly regular basis as he had lots of things to tell me. The best thing he said I think was that i was blowing it up all out of proportion - for example he asked me if I smoked and I said I had smoked for about 6 years but had given up, and then he asked me if I thought I had lung cancer, which I don't think - so if you imagine it is like having one cigarette and then being obsessed that you have lung cancer every time you clear your throat for the next 5 years - ie. a waste of time!! Or like everytime you cross the road do you fear that you are going to be knocked down by a car everytime etc etc. Hopefully that makes sense!!
The GP told me today that none of my ailments are indicative of HIV. I have been for the general blood test this afternoon aswell. If you are scared to go for the real HIV test maybe you should go for a normal blood test aswell? Coz I am thinking that if that comes back normal I will be reassured by that without having to have the real one. I hope....!
Saying that, it does sound to me like you have no risk whatsoever, so try not to worry.
xx
Hi All
Just to let you know i finally got the courage to go for another test last week and i got the results this morning - negative!!
Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for all your support on this, it really helped.
Good luck to everyone
Lots of love
Kate
xxxxxxxxxx
Good News Kate!! Glad everything is ok
richieshealth
27-10-08, 22:47
Hi there Kate. I can totally empathise with your situation, it's a terrible and depressing worry to have, I feel it is still a dramatic life changing event that will always carry an uncomfortable stigma. I think I could stomarch any other non curable virus and deal with it's effect but not HIV. So I totally understand you anxiety.
I have had the same problem as yourself, obsessing with HIV- so your not on your own kate. I too went for a test, only to read up about the window period been a possable 6 months rather than 3 months and susiquently found it hard to go back for another test. I'd just had to many one nighters as a younger guy and my concience bothered me after a blood donating session(my trigger was reading the leaflet) I'd never though of HIV till that point. Sounds as though your concerns are more intense then mine, with the knowledge the person you slept with at the time was infected. I'm sure as previousley suggested that if this was a chance incounter than the chances are much less probable than probable. I believe there has to be a certain level of exposure, so there is a more than favourable chance that your outcome will be fine. I hope you can then unlike me put it to rest - because it can feed into your brain and like me fear alsorts of other miniscule ways of contraction.
Could I ask you, how did you find out about the HIV status of this other guy and how do you know it was true. I was told by my cbt woman that the probability of HIV is around 300 to 1 ratio, i.e you need on average 300 sexual partners before you would encounter HIV on per head of population, so what are the chances this guy was truely HIV. This is the argument put to me by cognitive therepists, when i argued anyone could have it.
I'll be thinking of you, until you go for another test. Let me know how it goes. Best wishes Rich
worriedboy
27-10-08, 23:03
I am sure you are fine. I have had a number of unsafe encounters and worried constantly about HIV and I've always tested negative.
I suggest you get another test, though -- NOT because I think you need it physically, but you need it mentally. It could help put your mind at ease (unless you then decide that the test was flawed! LOL)
In the states, we have a clinic called Planned Parenthood. I like them because they offer 10 minute tests! This is great for a worrier like me because I can deal with that stress for 10 minutes much easier than the days/weeks it can take for typical tests sent away to labs. I'd suggest trying to find a place that offers these 10-minute tests nearby. :)
worriedboy
27-10-08, 23:04
Oh yay! I shoulda read the thread before commenting! :)
richieshealth
28-10-08, 00:23
I'm like you worried boy, When i first clicked on kate was going mad with anx an needed a test, by time i'd finished my half hour reply pressed enter, the comments at the top of the page read test done and a negative result - must have been a 10 minute test place, or prob that i was on the wrong page of threads n posts n thingies. what a nob jockey i am haha never mind. (good news though)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.