boundaries

[kizzy]

Hi all,
have had anxiety probs for years at one stage being housebound. Didn't get much help from anyone only Dr Weeks:).

I have come a long way really but still have boudaries ,can take myself off to town and shop etc but as for doing anything more daring still get the old
feelings and what ifs.

I would like to be more independant too not rely on husband so much for
days out and stuff. Have been invited to a few things but always dither and put myself off thinking its too far from home etc.

Any ideas where to start ?
thanks Kiz xx

[seh1980]

hello Kiz,

We all have bounderies that we feel that we can't cross. I guess all you can do is try to do things little by little and slowly get your confidence up as that will allow you to do more..

Sarah :D

[carlin]

Hi Kizzy,
You sound as if you have come a long way already (from being housebound at one stage), as suggested take it one day at a time, accept one invitation at a time those you think you can cope easiest with maybe? and you will gradually gain more confidence with each and every step, keep up with the ongoing progress and please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on, good luck.By my standards Kizzy, i think going off to town and shopping is very daring. take care.

[clickaway]

Why not start your "more daring" programme around your comfortable activities such as shopping.

Are you happy to go shopping to a more distant town for example, perhaps with a friend?

Or is it the evening socials that are the real barrier? As has been said, take it stage by stage. I'm sure once you get there, it won't bad at all, and in fact you may even feel a sense of achievement afterwards.

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

[pips]

Hi kizzy,

Well done for getting out and crossing some of those boundaries!

It just takes small steps and time. Perhaps set yourself a bit more of a challenge and except one of those invites you have been offered or arrange to do something a bit different from the norm!

The more you do different things the easier it becomes! I know it can get so difficult especially the atisapactory anxiety but once you get through that it will get easier perhaps start of with something small and work up.

Good luck,

Take care

Love PIP'S X

[Meg]

Kizzy.

Decide what is the next step for you so thats it's uncomfortable but not terrifying and make it happen by asking someone to meet you somewhere or asking someone to keep their phone on and close by in case you need extra support and tell them it's really important for you and why.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[kizzy]

Some good advice there ,thank you. Going shopping in next town is ok with a friend,no problems there but going alone is scary
:(.
Have been swimming also in next town with a friend but she can no longer go,its about 7 mile drive,ooooeeeer but I know the people who run the place quite well so would probably be ok once I got there,its the getting there and back I find worrying.

Meg I will try to do as you say and ask someone to stick by the phone and then maybe just drive to the pool not go in and then come back?
kiz xx

[Meg]

Hi Kiz,

That would be fine.

Aim to get there and if you're ok whilst there you could go in and know you can leave at any time.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[sal]

Hi Kiz

What is the saying Rules are made for breaking, so turn it round and say that boundaries are set to break. You have done well.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Jan]

Kiz

You have done so well. i can relate to how you feel totally. At the moment I am taking tiny steps to gain confidence exactly as you are doing. Just ease yourself into things and the more you do the more confident you will become until you are totally independant. Dont anticipate what may happen, this puts a thought in your mind which will grow. Tell yourself you can do it, be positive and if you have a blip so what you just keep fighting. Like you say drive to the pool even if you dont get in. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting there on your own. what an achievement!! Once you are comfortable doing that then you take another step. Dont expect too much of yourself it will only lead to disappointment trust me I am an expert in that.

You are doing fantastic and should be so proud of yourself

take care xx

Janine

[della]

hi kiz

I completley understand those boundaries ...it is like having apiece of elastic tied to you and as you pass the boundary line it becomes taught...I have been there and the best thing for you is just to let the elastic snap in small stages once it has yu will gain more conficdence and wont feel the bounday line. Well done on getting out.[8D]