View Full Version : How do we help?
Hi All
Just need a liitle advice. A family member is suffering from very bad anxiety, from the moment she get up till she gose to bed at night. It has really debilitated her, she has no motivation or energy (which I Understand) and needs contant reassuring, and very fearfull. Doc did perscribe Prozac, but it made the anxiety so much worse, and has now stopped taking it. She wants to stay in bed, should we let her? Not sure what to do, as we do not want to make it worse, so so difficult.
We have mangaged tp persuade her to try CBT, and we hope to arrange this for next week. Has anyone had a good response from this?
Any help or suggestions would be very much appreicated.
Thank you
Hi Kelly, I know you will get lots of useful replies but i would just like to say Prozac isnt the only option. I was taken a medication which made me worse and it was changed with much better results. I have also taken to my bed and had to force myself up. sink or swim attitude. It is difficult when it is not you but a family member and like i say I will leave that to the more experienced members to answer but it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job, being there for her and looking for help and advice. also you understand. take care and good luck, you will get lots help and support at this site.
Alexis
Kelly,
I really know what you mean by lack of energy and motivation too ~ and being scared.
But I think its quite important that she gets up out of bed and dressed - it will give her a sense of purpose during the day even if it means just watching TV or reading an easy book.
In time, I hope that it will then be possible for her to undertake more, for example, doing some washing-up or taking a short walk outside the house.
If she just lays in bed, she may get worse mentally.
Ray
Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker
Hi Kelly
Good rest and plenty of it is great but not just lying in bed through fear and lack of motivation.
If you need a book to help you along any Clare Weekes is the place to start .
Menial tasks are good . When I was very acute I had to clear out a cupboard or a drawer/ freezer shelf a day and that was enough.
I also had to go out for a walk and speak to some one like a shop keeper/ post office as well as some daily chore round the house to help someone else and most days go for a drive.
Mum and I decided on this plan together to keep agoraphobia at bay and keep me socially aware. It wasn't always easy but she encouraged and I did it. I know it helped me enormously too.
Make sure she keeps eating regularly.
Prozac makes you feel worse before it gets better.
First Steps : First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi there kelly,
i think it's really important to not let her stay in bed the whole time - i did that for a while and just ended up feeling really tired and depressed with no motivation.
i've been doing cbt for the last few months and it has really worked for me. but it's hard and i think you have to really want to do it. no use forcing someone to go in for cbt - i don't think it would work.
it's so good that you are offering her this support, stay strong.
henri x
[Hi Kelly, I know you will get lots of useful replies but i would just like to say Prozac isnt the only option. I was taken a medication which made me worse and it was changed with much better results. I have also taken to my bed and had to force myself up. sink or swim attitude. It is difficult when it is not you but a family member and like i say I will leave that to the more experienced members to answer but it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job, being there for her and looking for help and advice. also you understand. take care and good luck, you will get lots help and support at this site.
Alexis
<div align="right">Originally posted by alexis - 10 April 2005 : 13:03:44</div id="right">
[/quote]
Hi Kelly, i have just re read the message I wrote to you and thought i would explain something, when I wrote "sink or swim" what I meant was, I could easily of stayed in bed and done nothing all day,or just sit around not seeing anybody, etc(sink) or get up and try to get on, staying at work etc (swim).
I know all over the country people have different sayings and thought i would clear that up, you probably understood it anyway and think Im gabbing on now. Sorry, hope you OK and finding this site useful.
Take care Alexis
hi Kelly,
I think the trick is to take little steps at a time. Start with a really small task such as tidying a room and work up to something like going for a walk. Staying in bed is just pretending that nothing is happening and that will just make things worse.
There are other meds out there besides Prozac. I was on Cipralex for a year and it really did wonders for me. I have never tried CBT but I do know that it has helped lots of people so it is definitely worth a go.
Sarah :D
hi kelly
i had the same problem of staying in bed everytime i got up i would panic i spent a couple of months in bed its hard but i managed to break that routinet i took up knittting my daughters ended up with a lot of jumpers i would read. i did anything to take my mind of the feelings of panic relaxation tapes are very good to i had lots of support and understanding from my family and friends its hard but just take it a day at a time you will get a lot of support from this site every one is so friendly
helen
Hi Everyone
Many thanks for all your advice and support. We realise now that there are people who understand this situation.
Shes not good today, really shakey, but off to Doc's later, she says she wants to try Beta Blockers as this was offered last time she went. I just hope this will give her some relief from the overwhelming feeling's of anxiety she has. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.
Again, thanks to everyone for taking the time.
[8D] Kelly
I hope it all goes well at the doctor's!! Let us know what happens..:D
Hi Guys
Just a quick update. Went to docs, given some different anti'd's. Such a bad time at the docs, but better when she got home. Next day.........the worst.............. how to cope? Very anxious and very depressed about being anxious, vicious circle really. But, survived Tuesday, just. Wednesday, well vast improvement, just such a different person. She has managed to stay downstairs all day reading paper after paper, it did stop her thinking how she was feeling all the time. So a little progress........thank the lord. Had some food as well and lots of drinks. I realise that this is a very long recovery period, but I am so glad to see so much progress. There is light at the end of the tunnell for ALL. I am hoping for a good day tomorrow (thurs), but if not we will deal with it.
So glad I found this website, it is such a comfort to liase with people who understand, such a relief. Thank you ALL for your inspiration and support at this time, will let you know how it all progresses.
regards
Kelly.x
That great Kelly,
Its a bumpy road this recovery path and sometimes we hit bumps unexpectedly..They pass.
You take care of you too....
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi Kelly,
Just read your post and the answers you have had.
You are doing the right things with supporting her.
My husband said it's not just the person who suffers but also the people round them, and it is so true!
It's like Meg says it is a bumpy road, some take it quickly and recover and some slowly(me)!
We get there though with the love and support from others.
I'm sure you will get good advise from people on this site.
Hope it helps.
Take care and hope things get better for your relative real soon.
with good wishes
Zena
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