feeling down

[cheeky monkey]

Hi Ya
Feeling down over the last few days, over the last few months I’ve made another good friend and we chat on line several times a week we have a laugh and when we are both down we will cheer each other up. I knew from the start that she is not well but the other day she told me that the doc does not know how long she has left, this has come as a shock and I got real upset which is unusual for me as I only get upset over animals. I don’t know how to handle it as I’ve never had to deal with this before. The voices I hear having been telling me its my fault that’s why everyone leaves me.
At the moment things are also bad at home and I can’t see a way out of things, I know I have Lea and she is so supportive and loving, but sometimes I feel I’m going to loose her, I really need to get out of this house and my husband but can’t see how I can as getting a house is so hard, plus he would make things hard for me, at the min he is playing a lot of mind games which is bringing me down.
The last few days I’ve been tearful and I’ve been naughty again with my meds by missing taking them and my insulin which is making me feel yuk.
I know I’m lucky to have Lea, but there are sometimes when I feel like I want to talk to someone else so she doesn’t get to bogged down in my problems, after all she has her own life as well, and having no family to turn too, I feel lost.
I just don’t know how to handle things. Is there anyone out there who has gone through the same things.
I thought I was getting stronger but guess I’m not.
Thanks for reading this
Take care
susie

[yorkylover]

http://www.zwani.com/graphics/hugs/images/56.gif
:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

[leo05]

hi hun i know that you have bn finding things hard and i am always here , ok sometimes i might pull ya ears but ya know . i know tht bc ya aint got many replies you will blame yoirself too but trust me it is NOT you at all, with reguards to your mate it aint your fault as you didnt know how ill she was.
you will not lose me - and if ya voices say diff who do you trust more?? me or them??

hugs for you hunny xxxx love you xxxx

lea xx xx

[maddie]

Hello :)

I've been out all day. otherwise I would have replied sooner. I'm sorry you are feeling low. I'm sure you are shocked and sad about your friend, but please do not blame yourself. There is no way that you chatting to her online could affect her physical health. What you can do, if you feel up to it, is to carry on talking and laughing with her to bring some happiness to her through her illness.

It must be hard for you with the voices and your hubby playing mindgames. Please take your meds, because it will be so much harder to cope without them, as I'm sure you know.

Lea is lovely. She helped me through a panic attack the other night. I know she values her friendship with you. You and she are lucky to have such a close bond. It's great that you are able to support each other. I don't have a special friend like that, but there are many people on here ready to chat. I also find it helps to write my fears & worries down. Somehow they don't look so bad on paper and it gets them out of me.

I hope you feel brighter soon.
Hugs Maddie
:bighug1:

[leo05]

Hi
thankyou for replying it helps, I am trying to keep up with my meds with the help of lea xx Just that its hard at the min.
I enjoy talking to my friend and I haven't told her that I got upset.
Thanks lea for pulling my ears, I now look like dumbo.
Thanks Ellen and Maddie sending you both a hug back (((( Ellen Maddie)))
take care
susie xxx

[cheeky monkey]

ooooppppsss I forgot to sign in as cheeky monkey, I'm pulling my ears hunny bun lol
computors and me just dont mix lol

[Southern_Belle]

Susie,

I agree that you must take your meds there is no choice in that fact. You also have nothing to do with your friend's fate. I know you are helping her get through her ordeal though so if I were you I would continue to support her. I am sure you not taking your meds is not helping you feel well and also making you feel down. I do hope you feel better soon and please know that many care about you.

Many hugs,

Laura

[cheeky monkey]

Hi
just thought I would say how things have been, I've started taking my meds I try and do them everyday but it gets hard I take 14 tabs a day plus 2 lots of insulin because of my stomach problem it sometimes hurts and makes me sick so that doesnt help, hopefully I can keep on them, I going to see the doc next week to see if he can speed the operation up as this is getting me down with the pain.
Its comiing up to 6 months since I stopped drinking as this also causes pain, but my husband has been buying my fav cider and leaving them where I can see them, but when he has a drink he makes a arrraggh noise so I can hear him so I know he is enjoying the drink. I dont mind ppl drinking around me its when he does that which really gets to me.
I'm learning self control with my drinking and my self harm I haven't harmed since before christmas.
Any way just thought I let you know how I'm getting on.
hugs for everyone
susie
oh we doing a dog show tomorrow and the next 2 weeks which I looking forward too
xxxx