mlondon
29-05-08, 14:12
For some of you that have read my other posts, you'll know how things have been going for the past year. It is almost a year since my first panic attack on the 5th of June. It makes me want to cry when i think of how care free and how easy things were a year ago before the attack. I see myself as someone who was then happy but is not now. Though perhaps it is a time to reflect. After my first panic attack things quickly spiralled anf got worse. I felt so anxious leaving the house but then began to feel anxious inside the house. In the end I moved back in with my mum convinced I was going to die. I can't even say what I thought I was going to die of I was just convinced I would.
With the help of CBT and medication, I managed to move back in with my boyfriend, managed to get a job, managed to go to Australia with my mum to see my family. I April I began to come off medication and I am still in the process of doing so.
But I still have that fuzz in my head, I can't get excited about anything and even though the symptoms have decreased I still feel anxious when I do things. I have a whole list of exciting things happening this summer, a festival, visiting a friend in Amsterdam and starting a MSc degree. But I feel like the things I have to do are on a conveyer belt and I just pass through them without much excitement.
The thing that gets me the most is I feel exhausted all the time and drained. I constantly have a fuzz in my head. Sometimes I feel flat. I just know that this isn't right and don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like this.
I am scared of relapse and can't help but think it was a year ago surely I should feel myself again.
Any comments appreciated.
With the help of CBT and medication, I managed to move back in with my boyfriend, managed to get a job, managed to go to Australia with my mum to see my family. I April I began to come off medication and I am still in the process of doing so.
But I still have that fuzz in my head, I can't get excited about anything and even though the symptoms have decreased I still feel anxious when I do things. I have a whole list of exciting things happening this summer, a festival, visiting a friend in Amsterdam and starting a MSc degree. But I feel like the things I have to do are on a conveyer belt and I just pass through them without much excitement.
The thing that gets me the most is I feel exhausted all the time and drained. I constantly have a fuzz in my head. Sometimes I feel flat. I just know that this isn't right and don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like this.
I am scared of relapse and can't help but think it was a year ago surely I should feel myself again.
Any comments appreciated.