Am i really happy???

[Gregor]

Hi,

Everybody thinks i'm doing so well and i am compared to how i was a while ago. I've even posted on these boards to say how well i'm doing. However, what people don't realise, is that within me, a lot of the time i'm feeling really down, really depressed. I just dont know what to do most of the time. Sometimes i want to just give up the struggle, but i also feel i have a lot of advice to give to other sufferers. So, my mind is so confused with what i want.

Sometimes i feel really on top of the world after a good day, but later that day i can feel as low as it goes.

Gregor

[groovygranny]

Hello Gregor

Please, be encouraged by your very own words:

"Everybody thinks i'm doing so well and I am compared to how iIwas a while ago."

The emphasis being on the second part of the sentence!

This is the first post I've made for months, as I'm supposed to be having some 'time out' so I understand exactly how you feel.

I am learning that 'Recovery' is not the absence of difficulty or depression - it is more about the ability to live with both and still be able to say "I'm doing well".

Please don't give up, as I'm sure you have much worthy advice and support to give others too.

Take care :hugs:

[lenor]

Hi Gregor,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down at the moment, it's not unusal to feel this way though. Getting better can be a frustating and difficult process and the feeling of being back to square 1 if you have a bad day can make it seem like you will never get better. You will get through this though.

I've just had 3 good days and today I've felt so depressed again. Though I know it won't always be like this it knocks me down and it is really hard to try and be positive and look forward to the next day. However I just try and get through the day, do the less brain taxing things at work, and hope that it will lift for tomorrow. I keep a very brief diary of how I have felt, any panic attacks or anixty on a day to day basis and this has gives me something to reflect back on to see how many good and bad days I have had. Over time i can see that good days are out wieghing the bad ones and I hang on to this to get me through.

I think you are very brave in admitting that though you are getting better you are still finding it hard to cope and that not everything has gone to plan. This is a reaility of depression so don't knock yourself.

You will get better, don't give up just take small steps.
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