long story

[kellyw]

hello everyone,
im finding it so hard to write this so please have payience with me......
about 8 years ago i suffered an unexplained epileptic fit. it came totally out of the blue, had loads of tests, all came back normal and i was told that it was probably a one off and i would be fine. i felt ok about it until i went for a follow up appointment with a consultant, he listened to what had happened and saiod very bluntly, " you are now an epileptic and you will have seizures for the rest of your life and you will need medication forever and that it is almost impossible to control" at the time i had a two children under the age of 5 and was a stay at home mum, my husband worked very long hours. i absolutely freaked out. i spent the weeks feeling anxious and analysing every aspect of my health and at the weekends i would just lie in bed whilst my husband took full charge of the house and kids. this went on for about 6 months, it nearly finished off my marriage but in the end i started to climb out of the fear and i got fit and healthy nad seemed to get a grip. but the fear has never gone not really not for a minute, i have just got better at hiding it. anyway fast forward to now and i was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation in novemeber after yaers of suffering with svt. i spent two days in hospital and i am now on long term meds to control it. the meds are working very well. but 2 weeks ago i was sitting with my cousin and i suddenly felt really faint, it was like all the blood drained from my head and my stomach bounced up into my throat, my legs turned to jelly and my heart was pounding so fast i felt like a weight was on my chest and i started to shake and went pure white, this all happened in the space of a few seconds. it was terrifying, but with me my initial thought when i feel this way is that im having a seizure, which i havent had since that first and only time, this understandibly drives my family mad as they cant believe i still react in this way after 8 years. and to be honest neither can i.
since then i have had this happen 4 or 5 times. and when i googled(bad idea i know) i found this site and for the first time i am thinking i may be having panic attacks. i am a very anxious person i worry a lot about things and seem to get fixated on my health. its exhausting.
my question is this,
does a panic attack hit this fast with no warning? and how am i ever going to be able to put the seizure experience behind me and move on, i feel like i have tried everything but as soon as i feel anything at all physically i am convinced its going to happen.
god im sorry to go on so much but i really need some help with all this.
anyway thats me
hope you are all feeling okay
take good care
kelly xx

[NatashaW31]

Hay sweetie, sorry to hear you have been feeling so low for long but youare not alone any more the people on here are lovely they are very helpful and friendly, I know everyone is differant but when i have a panic attack it does come from nowhere and yes it is very scary because you cannot control your body it just takes over i have had this for years but never realised i was having panic attacks,
When ever you are feeling low or just wanna get it off your chest just come on here and you will get support of others with the same feelings
Keep smiling chick
Sending you Hugs and Kisses
Nat x

[marie1974]

hi there and welcome im sorry u feel like this but it does sound like a panic attack and mayb even though u only ever had one seizure , but docs still said u r an epileptic and this has really worried u up until now and this is perhaps triggering the panic all the time. would it be worth going back for more tests? to put yr mind at rest or mayb u may never have an attack again but i would think there would be more info that the hospital can give u on this and chances of it re occuring etc etc. u will get lots of advice on here and meet friends too hugs xxx

[kellyw]

wow thank you all so much for being so kind and supportive.
i should go back to the docs really and explain what is going on but i feel so stupid, especially as the seizure was 8 years ago. he is going to think im a nutter surely. and the thought of explaining the whole thing to a stranger(i never go to the docs so dont know him at all) just freaks me out!!
im so silly i know but i have got myself in a right mess.
kelly xx

[marie1974]

hi kelly dont feel silly and the doc would definately understand and that would also make u feel alot better. you may find out that u dont even have this problem anymore so i think its worth doing, dont forget docs are used to seeing so many different problems and yours is a normal one so dont feel like a nutter hehe anyway keep posting and u can pm me antime hugs xxxx

[kellyw]

thanks donna,
im so glad i came here, i might finally be able to get the courage together to go to the docs and face all this once and for all.
thanks again
kelly xxxx

[marie1974]

Great plan kelly let me know how u get on and dont worry it will be fine hugs xxx

[milly jones]

welcome to nmp hun

sometimes mt pas come out of the blue, but also i have specific triggers or feelings that one is coming.

i too did not know that they were pas, especially the ones at night.

i have found doctors to be totaly understanding of my condition and supportive too.

hope this helps a little

milly x

[Lilith1980]

Hi Kelly

Welcome to NMP :)

Jo xxxxx

[dawny]

Welcome To Nmp

Love Dawny Xxxxx

[joolz10]

Hi Kelly

Well done for going to see your doctor, its your first step to recovery I am sure your doctor will refer you to someone that will listen to your worries and believe me it really helps. I am reading a book called Beating stress, anxiety and depression by Jane Plant and Janet Stephenson. I promise you if you can get hold of a copy you will start to believe in yourself again soon. I still have good and bad days and yes still have panic attacks but hopefully I will start having more good days then bad ones.

Take care sweetie it will work out

Julie XX

[kellyw]

thank you all so much for the warmest welcome xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Nibbles]

Hi and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :)

[kellyw]

thanks mike, you have all been so friendly. thank you loads
kelly xxx

[kellyw]

hey julie, i have written that book down and im gonna try and get a copy, i love reading so it wont be a chore especially if it helps.
thanks for the kind words
take good care
kelly xx

[kellie]

Hiya Kellyw :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here :yesyes: .
You will get lots of support/advice/reasurance and make some great friends along the way. Im sorry you are not doing to good at the moment, keep posting and we will help as much as we can and i hope to talk to you in chat soon.

take care. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Lindalou64]

Hello Kelly And Welcome....wish Ya Well.........linda