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hi everyone,
i was just wondering does anyone else have any diagnosed medical conditions that contribute to your anxiety?
i have atrial fibrillation which is well controlled now but i know that it fuels my anxiety i also had a seizure a long time ago that i believe i am incapable of getting over and whenevr i feel light headed or odd i am convinved immediately that im going to have a seizure no matter how many years go by i seem to be locked in this reaction, its awful.
anyway i was just wondering if anyone else has things that make them feel like this and how do they cope.
take good care
kelly xx
janeybaby25
02-06-08, 11:07
Hi Kelly,
Yes I have a heart condition & have an ICD which has fuled my anxiety. Has your cardiologist advised you to seek help? mine refered me to a therpist who deals with people with heart conditions.
I am sorry if I have put any spelling mistakes so error here as I am writing this without my glasses! lol
Jane. :)
hi jane, thanks for replying.
the awful thing is i dont have a cardiologist, well i do but ive never had any contact with him. i have had svt for over 15 years and always told it was anxiety until an attack happened in the doctors and they caught it on an ecg, what a relief, i always knew it wasnt anxiety but no one evr believed me.
i was referred to a cardiologist in sheffield and she basically siad it was nothing to worry about and not harmful, more of a nuiscance than anything else, she didnt want to see me again. then i moved house and then last year the attacks started to change, my heart would be fast and irregular. i had one very bad attack and phoned an ambulance, i was taken to sc**thorpe hospital,the a fib lasted for 16 hours and then was finally corrected with flecainide, they diagnosed atrial fibrillation and put on flecainide and aspirin daily long tem. i got a letter asking me to go for an ultrasound which i did in march and since then i have heard nothing at all, no results no follow up appointment and im not sure what to do.
the thing is the meds i am taking have really helped they have stopped all the ectopics and flutters but i have been told taht if i have any kind of heart defect i could have a sudden heart attack!!!!! this scares me so much, i also know that the risk of stroke is now higher for me as i have a fib and that scares me too.
i just wish that i could be positive nad accept that i have been taking the tablets for 6 months now nad my quality of life is much better but i cant. i feel scared all the time. i dont feel normal anymore i feel broken and weak.
sorry jane im just a bit desperate at the moment, im driving my family and myself mad.
take good care
kelly xx
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
sorry to go off thread, but something has really made me laugh.
i have just noticed my reply had to be edited because the name of the town i live near has a very bad swear word placed in the middle of it!!!!!! oh its good to laugh.
kelly xx
janeybaby25
02-06-08, 11:45
Hi Kelly,
Were you born with a heart condition? I was born with mine you see & up until I was 23 I was fine, nothing happening to me at all. Then I started with palpatations & after various tests they realised I have SVT & VT so I too am on flecindide. I have been on it for 5yrs with no problems & have had my ICD in for 5yrs too & its never fired which makes my anxiety even more stupid as if they was ever anything wrong with my heart my defib about fire & help me out.
It sounds like your docs are pretty poor. I attend LGI & they are nothing but fantastic. Maybe you need to go back to your GP & tell them about your anxiety. I went to my GP & they put me in touch with some local CPN nurses which were great as I started with the attacks last yr after my Grandad died. I was free from attacks for about 8mths & now started with them again & I don't know why & its driving me mad. I used to do so much before all this & now I hardly do anything.
I know what you mean about driving your family mad, I feel same way with mine & feel no one understands.
if you want to PM instead we can get to know each other & where you are from etc... I take is Yorks like me :) I will add you to my buddy list. I am new to this website so bear with me if I make any mistakes! :hugs:
janeybaby25
02-06-08, 11:48
haha, I thought you had edited the name of the hosp out! lol I knew where it meant anyway. :)
hi jane, im sitting here sobbing, i have never met anyone with a similar condition to mine nad i have never known anyone on the same meds. god im in a right state.
i just want to stop feeling scared all the time.
i dont know if i was born with this, i never had anything when i was a child but it started in my late teens. the trouble is i have had to battle every single step of the way, firstly to be believed and then to be helped. i was told it was anxiety for so many years that i and everyone i know started to believe it. i got the most horrible tag of being a bit prone to funny turns and attacks of the vapours!!!! over the years this has chipped away dramatically at my self confidence. and i always felt that people thought i was just crying wolf. i guess i stopped feeling safe, especially after the seizure too.
i hardly ever go to the docs, once in the last 5 years!!! so i dont know my doc and the thought of going and explaining the whole story from start to finish is so overwhelming i just keep putting it off nad hoping i will get stronger on my own.
im sorry to ramble jane but you cant know how big a deal it is for me to hear that someone else has experienced similar things to me.
i am new too, just registerd today! i will pm you when i get my head round the whole thing.
take very good care
thank you
kellyxx
I have TMJ, which ISN'T caused by anxiety. BUT my anxiety has made it alot worse. I don't know how but GP said it does. o.0
Emz xx
he emz,
thanks for the reply.
im sorry but what is tmj?
take good care
kelly xx
TMJ is Temporomandibular joint disorder. Which means acute or chronic inflammation of the temporomandibular joint, which connects the lower jaw to the skull.
It's like my jaw gets caught when I try to open my mouth wide, and my teeth don't align. The cartilage kinda scrapes against the bone and my jaw has moved slightly.
I have a mouth guard now for nights though. :)
I really don't get how Anxiety and stress can make it worse though, but according to my GP..
Emz xx
Oh and here was me thinking it had been edited because of the content, you know so that people with a HEART PHOBIA who don't like to think that our ectopics and flutters COULD actually be part of a SERIOUS heart condition. we are on this forum for reassurence that there is NOTHING wrong with our hearts, even after numerous tests...thsts the whole point!! Reading this post now plants the seeds of possibility that maybe all of the ppl on here, me included, with these awful symptoms really do have a heart condition after all.
This post has put me back so much you don't believe it and i'm in such a panic now that i can't breathe...worst ive been for a long time. I'll have to go, sorry.
sorry to emz but cant face talking, so sorry xx
thanks honey,
i would imagine stress could affect it. when we are tense and anxious we tend to clench certain areas of the body, especially the neck and jaw. so if you have an existing problem with that area then the tension in your overstressed anxious body will only contribute to the pain and aggrivate the condition further maybe without you even being aware of it.
just my opinion but only you know if it does, the doctors dont know everything, they can only give their opinion too.
hope you are feeling better honey
take good care
kelly xxx
Cathy, Almost everyone I know/talk to who has anxiety gets heart flutters and palpitations.
It is just anxiety, trust me.
My anxiety first started when I was 13, and I had to go to a series of workshops about anxiety.
Heart flutters/palpitations were on the list of symptoms/side effects of anxiety along with more common ones .. Such as sweaty palms, dry throat, dizzyness ect...
These heart flutters and palpitations are anxiety induced. It's the circle of anxiety. You get anxious.. You get flutters/palpitations.. You notice these and get more anxious.. Therefor you get more flutters and palpitations.
Everything's fine, I promise. You KNOW it's just your anxiety making you think this. Getting yourself worked up will only make them worse.
We're all here for you.
I'm here if you need me.
Emz xxxx
wow that post has hurt my feelings terribly.
i cant help it that i have this condition. and it gives me terrible health anxiety which is just as real as anyone elses.
unfortunately for me i have got a real heart condition and terrible anxiety and i came here to see if anyone could help me through that. not to be told to bugger off elsewhere for scaring people.
just because my heart condition turned out to be real doesnt mean that anyone elses will.
this is not my fault and i have had years of being treated badly because of this i really didnt expect to have that reaction here.
kelly
I have TMJ problems as well....I have to see the dentist about it on Thurs and I am TERRIFIED, I am so scared of the dentists. I also (as I have gone on about on other posts) have had a thyroidectomy and am on levothyroxine, having a lot of trouble balancing the dose.
wow that post has hurt my feelings terribly.
i cant help it that i have this condition. and it gives me terrible health anxiety which is just as real as anyone elses.
unfortunately for me i have got a real heart condition and terrible anxiety and i came here to see if anyone could help me through that. not to be told to bugger off elsewhere for scaring people.
just because my heart condition turned out to be real doesnt mean that anyone elses will.
this is not my fault and i have had years of being treated badly because of this i really didnt expect to have that reaction here.
kelly
I don't think she meant anything by it, she's just anxious. You know how it is.
You don't have to go anywhere at all.
In alot of posts people write.. There'll be someone who read them and get anxious about them.
Emz xxx
one more thing cathy,
that is the difference between us i had all the test and they found i had atrial fibrillation, not caused by anxiety but by an electrical wiring fault in my heart. othetbpeople have the test and it shows nothing is wrong and the cause is anxiety.
im reeling from your reply, feel like i am being judged as someone who has come here to scare people when the reality it has taken me months to pluck up the courage to post here.
my anxiety is real just like yours, yours has a cause and so has mine. it doesnt matter what the cause is it. the anxiety is the same.
And btw Cathy, when you think there's something wrong with your heart... You know that's because there are real heart diseases and conditions out there right? Just because you got reminded of it just now doesn't mean you have to react like this.
You know how scared you are when you think you have a heart condition?? You can get over it when you're re-assured that you're all okay.
Imagine what it's like to be worried about it and to know that you actually HAVE got a heart condition!! That's what Kelly's going through.
Emz xx
Hi kelly
I sympathise hun, I had a scare with my heart a few months ago, I had been suffering from palps (never had them before) so I had an ECG, my doctor looked and thought I may have Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome, however it went to a cardiologist who ok'd it and said my ECG was fine, but it was terrifying for those couple of weeks that I thought i may have something, so even though it was a short space of time I get a little bit of how you must feel.
My doctor said to me at least we are only dealing with anxiety, and not anxiety and a heart condition.
Thoughts are with you, must be tough, keep posting and talking on here. Some people will naturally be more sensitive. I am at times, but don't worry
Big Hugs to you
Emira
xxx
thanks emira amd emz,
yeah it is scarey, i wish so much that i could go to the doctors and be reassured that it is nothing but i cant.
i think really i am still coming to terms with the diagnosis it was less than 6 months ago.
i just want to get to a place emotionally where i feel less anxious.
thanks for replying
tajke good care
kelly xxx
Hey i'm not telling anyone to do anything, but i think ppl can be a bit insensitive sometimes. I mean think about it. If ppl with a heart phobia have been having tests on their hearts over a long time and have been told there's nothing wrong, but still the symtoms go on and on. So they come to a forum like this because they know its a forum to help these phobias, coz deep down we know thats all it is, well thats all i thought it was. Thats why the posts are full of ppl saying exactly what Emz has just said to me...that theres nothing and its all in my mind....but how can we say something like that to kelly? and how can i now be reassured that theres nothing with me coz my symptoms have been the same as hers.
I just didnt expect that post to go into it in so much detail...i almost passed out reading it, sorry but thats the nature of a heart phobia i guess. I'm sorry if anyone has to cope with the real thing, ive lost members of my family to it but i just find it hard to think now that there seems to be alot of ppl on here admitting to having heart disease. I don't hHAVE to read about it I know but i went into the thread not really expecting so much detail about the real thing. I think its the first time ive heard of any of the ectopic sufferers since ive been a member of nmp actually having the real thing, and for me its kind of made me feel a bit uncomfortable on here sorry :weep:
I know none of you will understand what i'm trying to say, but maybe it was naive of me to think it was a forum only for ppl who just THINK they have a disease and not for ppl who actually have one. And i would never tell anyone to b....r off. I'd leave myself because the problem is obviously mine.
Cathy xxx
firstly cathy your symptoms are NOT the same as mine. i have had the tests and been found to have a heart condition. you havent.
and yes it is not only naive to think this forum should only be used by people that think they have conditions, it is also very selfish.
the fcat is it doesnt matter wether we have the condition or not the reason we are here is for help with the health anxiety, and as my condition is well controlled now that is waht i need help with...the anxiety. not the heart condition.
and as you dont have a heart condition you also need help for the same thing....the anxiety it causes you thinking you have.
the thing i take most offence to is that you say i was being insensitive by posting the details of the cause of my anxiety.
that is really not on, you post the details of the cause of your anxiety why cant i. just because the source of my anxiety is a real condition that i didnt ask to get and have no control over??
i understand your reaction is based purely on your own anxiety and the only thing i can say about that is atrial fibrillation is not very common in people under the age of 65 and if you have had the tests and it has showed nothing then you will be fine.
just maybe in future when you come across someone that is suffereing with crippling anxiety for whatever reason you will try nad see it from there perspective for a second.
kelly
Kelly, I come across ppl with 'cripling anxiety for various reasons' every day on nmp, and every day i do my best, like we all do, to try help them. But these are the ppl who only have anxiety, not the real thing. If a person is on their knees in panic or can't breathe because they think theyre having a heart attack, i'm one of the many ppl who respond with a reply such as 'you'll be fine its only the anxiety'. Its just thrown me to think that there are ppl who i now can't say that to...that i might be actually talking to someone who really does have the threat of a heart attack hanging over them, and all i'm saying is that its the first time since i joined this forum that ive come across it, and i feel very uncomfortable, but thats my problem and i'll sort it out.
Ppl have phobias for all sorts of reasons and can be amongst the hardest to help as a phobia can be anything from fear of spiders to never leaving your home. Health phobias can be debilitating as you can be searching for many years for answers. My symtoms of ectopics and flutters have gone on for many years. The ppl on nmp have told me repeatedly that its only anxiety, but then here comes all the posts relating to your origional question...read them again froma health phobics point of view...and suddenly all the good advice evaporates.
I'm truly sorry for your illness, but please do try also to understand how the mind of a phobic person works too. These posts are read by all.
Cathy
Oh, and if you go to a thread started today by a member called, Neil1975 asking about ectopics and heart flutters etc, this is an example of what ive been trying to say. How would i now advise him?
Cathy
NatashaW31
02-06-08, 14:33
I also Have TMJ it comes as part of my fibromyalgia syndrome along with anxiety, insomnia, IBS etc too many things are connected would be here for ever explaing them all lol
Nat x
my condition is managed by medication. my anxiety is driven by what ifs just like you. nad yes i hvae more to back up my what ifs than you do but i still have them all the same.
it is so upsetting that you are saying that i shouldnt be here because i could scare people that think they have something wrong with their heart.
and as for neil i have posted on that thread my advice to you would be to give him advice based on your own experience not on mine.
i have advised him on what i know nothing else.
you know cathy after 15 years plus of dealing with heart issues i actually have a lot of experience and knowledge of this subject which may help other people. thats another reason i am here to offer support and help to people going through similar situations.
you are right though this problem is yours not mine, im sorry that it scares you but thats life, people who have things wrong with them get anxious too and need help.
kelly
and cathy the reality of the situation is that the majority of people on here enquiring about heart conditions have anxiety not atrial fibrillation. and you will notice i didnt come here enquiring about palpitations or anything to with my heart i came here purely for anxiety related to health.
hi nat,
thanks for the reply hope you are feeling okay
kelly xx
I'm not about to get into an extended argument with someone who has only been on the forum for a day ok? so i accept that you are an expert on AF and related issues, but that you also have absolutely no idea of heart phobia and what it involves, and seem to continually dismiss it in favour of your own illness, so i guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
It will be interestng to now read what you had to say to neil to help with his fear of heart disease.
Take care and i hope you get the support you need with your anxiety over your heart condition.
Cathy
janeybaby25
02-06-08, 15:02
I too joined this site to meet others who suffer from anxiety if that be set off by medical condition or not. I have a heart condition like Kelly & after talking to her, she is a very sweet, scared person who I have found comfort in meeting & talking to.
Anxiety can be triggered by anything & I thought this site was for anyone who suffers from it at any level of seriousness.
I think Kelly is very brave for posting on this site about her ordeal & sharing her story & not make her feel unwelcome making her feel her anxiety is no less worse than anyone elses
I understand reading things about other peoples experinces may set off anxiety but that is something we have to deal with in ourselves & not make the other person feel bad.
i am not an expert on af i have simply through no fault of my own had a lot of experience of this condition. and for over 15 years i was told there was absolutely nothing wrong with my heart so i too have suffered extreme heart phobia.the only reason i am defending myself so wholeheartedly is because i truly believe that anyone with anxiety should be able to come here wether they have a real heart condition or not.
i honestly didnt come here to scare anyone or argue i came for help.
i have posted on neils thread and tried to help calm his anxiety in the same way as everyone else has, based on my own experience.
maybe you are right i dont think this is the place for me
...and the posts are read by alot of ppl, including those with heart phobia, who really don't want to be confronted by details of heart disease which include ectopics and heart flutters...very common symptoms forheart phics please please please try to understand this for us too :weep:
Maybe if ppl want to discuss details of organic or 'real' illnessess they should do it through private messages or in private chat rooms? then the ppl who really only want reassurences that their ectopics are part of anx and not that theres a possibility of anything more serious won't be flaking out all over the place :chairfall:
Kelly said atrial fibrillation is adifferent thing, but she did mention ectopics and flutters etc in that post which would make ppl with heart fears very nervous. She also said she'd been trying to convince the docs for many years before they found something...again something heart phobics fear.
And this is not about whether she's a lovely lady or not, i'm sure she is, this is about her arguing the fact that there are some ppl who would be scared by her detailed posts. Like i said, its a forum to help all, not just one or two.
But its all i have to say on this now really, coz it will become a bit silly.
Cathy.
I don't want to stick my oar in, but it seems to me that the sensible way forward is to look at what each of you is saying. Kelly has a diagnosed heart problem which is causing her anxiety. Cathy suffers from anxiety about the prospect of having a heart problem, and hearing that Kelly really does have a heart problem has made her anxious that she may indeed have one herself, given that she suffers from palpitations. Am I right so far?
It seems to me that the sensible advice here to give to anyone worried by heart symptoms is to go and have these checked by a doctor, and then, if you are told that it's 'just anxiety', try your best to accept that reassurance and not panic every time your heart flutters. But with any physical symptom of anxiety, from headaches to dizzy spells to stomach problems, it is always wise to get a proper medical diagnosis, if only to help to set your mind at rest.
I actually think that Kelly's problem raises an interesting point - how does our anxiety interact with our existing health problems? I think you're dealing with it very bravely Kelly, as someone who has had a cancer scare and a major operation in the last twelve months I know how stressful it is. Cathy, there's absolutely no reason to suppose that you have any clinical heart problem, if your doctor says it's due to anxiety then try to accept that reassurance. But you can't censor what other people want to discuss. I have gone into quite a lot of detail about my operation on other posts, which I suppose could have upset other people... but being able to discuss these things is the point of the forum.
I think you have got it more or less right samira. but today i have faced my phobia head on in kellys posts and came out wanting...knocked me for six. See up to now ive read all of the posts about self-harming, anorexia and the many awful parts of OCD, and tried like everyone to support them.
Ive said today that i was naive when i came here, to think it was a place just for imaginary illnessess and i really was that naive about it. Maybe the first few things i read reassured me i was in the right place, but i know now that if id read one of kellys posts first i wouldnt have joined nmp....just like i wouldnt have stayed in a room full of people whove had heart probs if id gone to join a self-help group for heart phobia...get it now?
I think my time is up here
Take care All
Cathy V xxx
I understand what you're saying Cathy, but really, knowing that Kelly has a real heart problem shouldn't make you feel any worse about your condition, and it doesn't make it any more likely that you have the same problem. I think it would be a real shame if either of you felt you couldn't continue to use the forum because of this disagreement.
maybe try and look at this way cathy, what if someone on this forum experiencing ectopics etc finds out they actually have a heart condition, what do they do then go away because its not just anxiety.
health problems are a fact of some peoples life, thats just the way it is.
im sorry you are so scared by all this but jumping on me cause i wrote a detailed post about my situation is not going to make your fear any better, its just fuelling it. just because you are scared doesnt give you the right to try nad control what people are saying.
you have i hope had tests to check that your heart function is okay, and yes it did take years for me to get a diagnosis, but thats just my story i havent exagerated or made it worse than it was thats just what happened. that doesnt mean it is the same for everyone else.
i would have been happier believe me if i had just got a diagnosis from day one...maybe then i wouldnt have all this anxiety.
i will continue to post here because already i have found people to be warm and reassuring and right now i need that a lot, i think you do too so lets just start again eh and forget about this.
also cathy if you want any advice at all about what is worrying you about your heart i will help in any way i can. like i said im no expert but i know whta its like to suffer with the unknown, feel like no one believes you and eventually come out the other side.....with or without a diagnosis, really i do.
kelly
maybe try and look at this way cathy, what if someone on this forum experiencing ectopics etc finds out they actually have a heart condition, what do they do then go away because its not just anxiety.
health problems are a fact of some peoples life, thats just the way it is.
im sorry you are so scared by all this but jumping on me cause i wrote a detailed post about my situation is not going to make your fear any better, its just fuelling it. just because you are scared doesnt give you the right to try nad control what people are saying.
you have i hope had tests to check that your heart function is okay, and yes it did take years for me to get a diagnosis, but thats just my story i havent exagerated or made it worse than it was thats just what happened. that doesnt mean it is the same for everyone else.
i would have been happier believe me if i had just got a diagnosis from day one...maybe then i wouldnt have all this anxiety.
i will continue to post here because already i have found people to be warm and reassuring and right now i need that a lot, i think you do too so lets just start again eh and forget about this.
also cathy if you want any advice at all about what is worrying you about your heart i will help in any way i can. like i said im no expert but i know whta its like to suffer with the unknown, feel like no one believes you and eventually come out the other side.....with or without a diagnosis, really i do.
kelly
I appreciate what you're saying really i do, but i think i need help from a site that maybe does only deal with anxiety. In answer to your question 'what if someone with ectopics developed heart disease,would i expect them to leave because it wouldnt then only be about anxiety' well bad though it might sound to you but i'm afraid yes i would expect them to find a forum where they can discuss their 'real' symptoms with ppl who know whats it all about. I'm trying to feel more positive about my heart, not to fell that thres a chance after all these years and tests they could have got it wrong like they did with you.
My guess is that nmp didnt start out with members suffering from anorexia, or ocd, or any of the other heavy-duty problems you see her now. The lady who owns and runs the site has anxiety and panic problems, and my other guess is that thats what nmp started off as..a forum to help sufferers from 'imaginary' illnessess, but the fear of illness made them housebound. I think its just got bigger and developed into what it is today.
Only the other day a lady sent a message in saying she'd cut herself badly all over her body and she was alone in the house with her baby daughters. Another member had got to her almost imediately and was frantically trying to help her. It shook her up quite badly to say the least. The lady in question posted the following day, after sleepless night for a few of us, to say she was ok and apologised for putting ppl through that. And thats beyond anyones capability, thats an 'out of our depth' situation. Apparently she has a small network of ppl from nmp who she can contact off-site if she wants to..and thats great. They had a quiz night that night and i was all set to play but didnt because of feeling i couldnt join in with anything as lighthearted as a quiz when this drama had been going on. Sound selfish? too true it does, but nic and the team try to find ways of giving ppl something else to focus on and it works and its a great laugh, but because somebody had been ill enough to want to cut themselves it took any enjoyment away. Thats heavy stuff to deal with.
I'd only been amember for a few days when i followed a thread that had been going on for some time about a lady who had anorexia. Having anorexia isn't the problem, but she was upsetting alot of ppl talking about how happy she felt not eating and mentioned that she admired a certain celeb who'd died from it. She was well-loved member and alot of ppl were so desperately trying to help her, and it wasnt her fault it was her illness, but as the admins said eventually this isnt the place for it and ppl cant have the respnsibility of something like that. This lady went on to start her own forum for anorexics and everyones best wishes went with her to make a go of it.
I was truly surprised today when all of those other members came 'out' about having heart disease. I don't think ive ever seen any posts in this way before, and its great that youve all found each other and can support each other...who the hell knows what an svt is, and who, with a heart phobia would really want to know! but i'm not being sarcastic when i say thats its good that youve all found each other, i mean it. Maybe all the others were nervous to admit it for the very reasons i'm trying to give you, who knows?
And whether you want to hear it or not, for me personally i don't want to be part of the bigger picture any more, to have to watch ppl go through all of that, or hear details of #Real' illnesses, I need a small group of ppl who suffer with health or heart anxiety. Maybe i'll try the local church hall :)
Cathy
oh dear.
i hvae read your post 3 times really trying to get a grip of what you are saying.
but it doesnt make sense.
you are confusingf so many issues here. firstly af is not a psychological illness like anorexia or self harming, secondly i am in no way asking for assistance with my af, but i had to give a detailed explanation of my background so that people would understand how i have come to be at this point in my life. i repeat that i have asked no one for advice on my physical health but only on my mental health. i dont wnat you to calm me down over ectopic beats or heart flutters. I JUST WANT TO STOP FEELING ANXIOUS, JUST LIKE YOU CATHY. ANXIETY IS NOT AN EXCLUSIVE CLUB FOR PEOPLE WITH IMAGINARY ILLNESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a state of mind that can happen to anyone for any reason.
cathy i came her to get help with health anxiety based on an existing condition, why do you think that doesnt make my anxiety real. anxiety is not like that its not that clear cut.
no more panic to me is a place where people can come when they feel anxious, panic stricken and worried for WHATEVER reason. a place where we can find the courage to support others and have the grace to accept help when we need it.
the saddest thing about your post is that you openly say that if another member was to find that they actually had a real physical problem with their heart you would turn them away, shame on you, really shame on you.
one day you may find that a real physical problem can cause just as much anxiety if not more, than an imagined one.
Ok here is an example...someone comes on here and says theyre really anxious, in the middle of a huge panic attack, and think theyre having a heart attack. Another member tells them its ok its only panic and anx, theyll be fine it will pass etcetc. So then this person says well im anxious because i have heart disease and it is a possibility that i could have a heart attack. So kelly what then? what am i supposed to say to them..don't worry its only anxiety giving you pains in your chest? I wouldnt be able to deal with it, coz i'm supposed to be in the company of ppl who really do only have anxiety. Why don't you get it? from a heart phobics point of view, why is it so hard for you to understand this side of things? I'm actually saying that probably nmp is geared more to ppl like you than to me. And its really ok, its just not for everyone and i hope to find an alternative.
But please, don't keep accusing me of saying things i'm not saying such as bugger off, or that id turn ppl away or telling you not to be on here. I havent said any of those things to you. These are only your interpretations. But i think its best to leave it there really now don't you :shrug: Its not doing either of us much good really.
Take care
Cathy
cathy i do not have heart disease. neither does anyone else that replied to my post.
i would never contact nmp if i seriously thought i was having a heart attack i would call an ambulance. that is not to say that i dont have serious panic attacks where i am convinced i am going to die but that is different, totally different to having afib.
that is what i have been trying to say all along, the afib is not why im here, the anxiety is the reason. and if i am having a panic attack you would tell me the same as anyone else......
you would say
kelly you are having a panic attack it will pass, stay calm, you will be okay.
if you were worried that i had suddenly forgotten i had afib you could remind me by saying
kelly if you feel the afib is causing this rather than just panic please call the doctor.
easy mate really bloody easy.
you know what i came here this morning in the most dreadful state really just wanting some kind words and some help to find my way through my anxiety and get control of my life again and you have single handedly tried to make me feel like a bloody imposter.
and by the way you did say that if another member developed a real heart condition you would want them to find anothre forum where they could talk about it, rather than here.
you know honey i think that the lady that started this site would not be championing you at all, i dont think that this club is exclusive, just you.
anyway im done with you, really done.
Pink Panic
02-06-08, 21:46
I appreciate what you're saying really i do, but i think i need help from a site that maybe does only deal with anxiety. In answer to your question 'what if someone with ectopics developed heart disease,would i expect them to leave because it wouldnt then only be about anxiety' well bad though it might sound to you but i'm afraid yes i would expect them to find a forum where they can discuss their 'real' symptoms with ppl who know whats it all about. I'm trying to feel more positive about my heart, not to fell that thres a chance after all these years and tests they could have got it wrong like they did with you.
My guess is that nmp didnt start out with members suffering from anorexia, or ocd, or any of the other heavy-duty problems you see her now. The lady who owns and runs the site has anxiety and panic problems, and my other guess is that thats what nmp started off as..a forum to help sufferers from 'imaginary' illnessess, but the fear of illness made them housebound. I think its just got bigger and developed into what it is today.
Only the other day a lady sent a message in saying she'd cut herself badly all over her body and she was alone in the house with her baby daughters. Another member had got to her almost imediately and was frantically trying to help her. It shook her up quite badly to say the least. The lady in question posted the following day, after sleepless night for a few of us, to say she was ok and apologised for putting ppl through that. And thats beyond anyones capability, thats an 'out of our depth' situation. Apparently she has a small network of ppl from nmp who she can contact off-site if she wants to..and thats great. They had a quiz night that night and i was all set to play but didnt because of feeling i couldnt join in with anything as lighthearted as a quiz when this drama had been going on. Sound selfish? too true it does, but nic and the team try to find ways of giving ppl something else to focus on and it works and its a great laugh, but because somebody had been ill enough to want to cut themselves it took any enjoyment away. Thats heavy stuff to deal with.
I'd only been amember for a few days when i followed a thread that had been going on for some time about a lady who had anorexia. Having anorexia isn't the problem, but she was upsetting alot of ppl talking about how happy she felt not eating and mentioned that she admired a certain celeb who'd died from it. She was well-loved member and alot of ppl were so desperately trying to help her, and it wasnt her fault it was her illness, but as the admins said eventually this isnt the place for it and ppl cant have the respnsibility of something like that. This lady went on to start her own forum for anorexics and everyones best wishes went with her to make a go of it.
I was truly surprised today when all of those other members came 'out' about having heart disease. I don't think ive ever seen any posts in this way before, and its great that youve all found each other and can support each other...who the hell knows what an svt is, and who, with a heart phobia would really want to know! but i'm not being sarcastic when i say thats its good that youve all found each other, i mean it. Maybe all the others were nervous to admit it for the very reasons i'm trying to give you, who knows?
And whether you want to hear it or not, for me personally i don't want to be part of the bigger picture any more, to have to watch ppl go through all of that, or hear details of #Real' illnesses, I need a small group of ppl who suffer with health or heart anxiety. Maybe i'll try the local church hall :)
Cathy
Hi Cathy,
I don't know if you will be back on the Forum to read this but i hope you are as i totally agree with what you are saying. I personally felt that the others on the thread gave you a bit of a hard time for voicing your beliefs and opinions. This is a forum and the nature of the beast is that there will always be different viewpoints but i personally felt that a couple of Kelly's posts were too detailed for me and i'm not a Health Anxiety sufferer!! I personally think this site is lacking in Admins and one of the biggest losses to the site was when Chalky decided to go!! The only Admin that i ever see around lately is Eeyore Lover and i couldn't even name the others and don't know when i last saw them post!! And if there were any about surely they would have interevened on this thread by now!!!
Re your comments about the post on Saturday .... I was the one as you know who was alone on the thread with Kaz until thankfully Pickle came along and gave me support.
I left a message on the actual thread to say that i was doing some thinking as to if i'd stay at NMP and for the mo i'm still here prob mostly due to the lovely supportive pm's that i received from some members. You are right in saying that dealing with this situation was beyond my capabilities and i was out of my depth. It was very heavy stuff to deal with and i'm sorry that you felt you weren't able to join in the quiz because of how you were feeling, i wasn't able to do much either apart from watch telly and think of what Kaz had done to herself and if she was still alive etc., question myself (could i have said something better or done something else?), i was so scared to log on on Sunday morning after a bad nights sleep as i didn't know what i'd read then i found out she was ok and there wasn't any hospital dash just an apology!!
I haven't really had any enjoyment since that incident and today i had a another really bad day following on from the one i had on Sunday. Today i had a visit from a CPN and my Psych now has me on other anti-psychotics and wants me to take an anti-depressant as i seem to have gone in a downward spiral. I'm not saying that the events of Saturday are wholy to blame but they certainly contributed. The worst part of all was entering the Chat Room and asking for help to be get virtually no reponse and just as i said on the thread ... i hope that if these people who were in there at the time ever need help then they get the reponse that i did!!
You talk of Karen's thread and i too read it and i admit that it concerned me and i will state right here and now that i was one of the people who voiced my concerns not only on the thread but also to the Admin who eventually did take notice and do something about it. I wish Karen all the best in the world but i personally never thought this was the place for her graphic posts and i'm glad she has started her own Forum. I know i'm not the only one to think this as i had quite a few pm's agreeing with me from members who i urged to contact the Admins with their thoughts and not me, one long standing member even told me that she couldn't sleep at night if she knew Karen hadn't posted as she worried she was still alive so she had got up in the middle of the night and came on NMP to see if she had logged on!!
I too was surprised to see the members who came out about their heart problems as like yourself i thought this was primarily an anxiety site and although i knew there were people suffering from other illnesses i have never really seen them being discussed so clearly until today. I also read a thread that was relating to an Epileptic Fit and it really made me feel bad it was described so clearly.
This site isn't perfect i know but it's been a lifeline for me for quite a while but now i seriously think it's time to move on.
Pink
nomorepanic
02-06-08, 21:48
Hi all
I thought I best say a few things.
NMP is a lot of things and we have a variety of posts on here relating to all kinds of ailments and illnesses.
People are at different stages on anxiety/panic. Some are new to it all and need constant reassurance and will post over and over checking that what they are feeling is normal and they are not seriously ill.
All we can do is advise those people the best we can and if any of you have read the First Steps post it does suggest a full set of tests with the GP to rule out any other problems. The main website page says "You should use the website information, Message Forum and Chat room alongside any care you are currently receiving from your physician."
Others have had all the tests but still are not reassured that there isn't something wrong and post for that reassurance and to be told facts about anxiety etc.
We cannot hide "real" illnesses from people and Kelly has explained what she has and her intention was not to cause worry amongst people.
I was diagnosed this year with Chron's disease and the main symptom I had was constant diarrohea. I would never have imagined that I would be diagnosed with this - I thought it was a food allergy or IBS! My point is that I would suggest to a member with similar symptoms to get them checked out as you never know what it could be so no point speculating!
If you have had ECG's and the GP has reassured you then there is no reason why this would be what Kelly was diagnosed with.
My point is that we cannot hide our "real" illnesses from people and wrap every post up in cotton wool in case we upset others. We lost a member last year who we all thought had a bad cough and asthma and it turned out to be lung cancer. We all supported her all we could - I would never have dreamt of telling her she could not stay here now she had a "real" illness.
Just my thoughts anyway!
Hi kelly
I sympathise hun, I had a scare with my heart a few months ago, I had been suffering from palps (never had them before) so I had an ECG, my doctor looked and thought I may have Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome, however it went to a cardiologist who ok'd it and said my ECG was fine, but it was terrifying for those couple of weeks that I thought i may have something, so even though it was a short space of time I get a little bit of how you must feel.
My doctor said to me at least we are only dealing with anxiety, and not anxiety and a heart condition.
Thoughts are with you, must be tough, keep posting and talking on here. Some people will naturally be more sensitive. I am at times, but don't worry
Big Hugs to you
Emira
xxx
Oh my God, sorry I can't believe I've finally found someone who's been through the same scares as me. When I had my first panic attack the nurse told me I had a heart attack and that scared me so much that I now have a heart phobia. After the nurse told me I had a heart attack the doctors told me I have a clotted artery so they ran some tests including inserting a camera through my artery to check if it's narrowed or not. They told me everything was ok and is nothing wrong with me. After this episode I started having lots of panic attacks and I've been seing lots of doctors and cardiologists. One of them told me I had wolf Parkinson White Syndrome (in 2002) Since then I got scared even more even tho other doctors have seen me since and told me my heart is ok. Last EKG was about a month ago and that came up fine.
My psychiatrist says it's just my anxiety. I am so obsessed with my heart, oh God it's so hard. Today I've read on a website that having anxiety disorder puts you at risk of heart diseases and I can barely control my panic now. I've just hit the search button on this website to see all the heart related posts.
I just hate so much feeling like this!
Hey Sheba
Its rubbish isn't it, it has taken me along time to get over feeling scared about having WPW, as my heart phobia has been terrible. Just about getting there now.
I had an ECG that was checked twice, so I have to be positiv. Try not to google hunny. I found coming on here helped me alot, stopped the google temptation LOL!
My doc said after the cardiologist checked it its def just anxiety. I will believe her!
At the moment i am worrying about blood clots. I hate Health Anxiety :-(
thank you nicola, really thank you.
i will say again i did not come here for reassurance about my heart. i posted my story in the same way everyone else does, a detailed explanation about how i come to be what i am today.
i dont think that it would ever be possible to find a forum just about anxiety, because anxiety always has atrigger, no matter what it is and the more you try and support and help someone with anxiety the more you unravel what is really causing these feelings. everyone has catalysts/ skeletons behind there anxiety.
pink,
hi im sorry that you have been upset by my posts. i am the person that mentioned the fit, but i didnt go into detail at all, just the fact that it happened and i feel incapable of moving on even after 8 years. i am truly sorry you had a terrible experience recently but that should not be linked with this thread in any way, i am not asking for you to be responsible for me or make decisions about my health im just asking you to help me understand that my fears , like everyone elses here are largely unfounded. which they are, im not afraid about my heart im afraid about the way i cant cope with it and live with it, which in turn causes me too spend much of my time in a high state of anxiety.
take care
kelly xx
Oh dear this thread has put the cat among the pigieons. I can see both points of view here. I'm sorry to hear that kelly has a condition that she is very naturally anxious about. My own anxiety escalated when I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem over 30 years ago. The thought of actually having something wrong with me brought to a head all my fears of my own mortality and I have found that difficult and had many panic attacks because of my fear. But like cathy I also hate to be given details of any illness as I am an expert in imagining that I have whatever the condition is. This is the same reason why I don't google symptoms and why this site advises against doing that. When you suffer from general health anxiety you spend your day trying to convince yourself that all your symptoms are brought on by a basically over active imagination. What makes us anxious is the knowledge that our symptoms might just might be the real thing so being confronted by the reality of someone who had symptoms which were thought to be anxiety related and then confirmed to be the real thing is sort of our worst nightmare.
There is no real solution to this. Both people are suffering from anxiety and both need support. Maybe there could be some way of flagging up a thread when the poster needs to put in details of a real medical condition. That way if you didn't want to read it you would know before you started.
by the way just to avoid confusion I'm sheba2 and not the same sheba as above.
hi sheba, the only thing i came to nmp for was to get help with anxiety. i tried very hard not to go into scarey details of my heart condition and i have said so many times that is not why im here but how i came to be anxious.
im here for anxiety that is driven by a physical condition. i cant understand why that makes it any different, everyones anxiety is driven by something.
i feel more anxious now than i did before i registered. how ironic is that.
take care
kelly
I personally think this site is lacking in Admins and one of the biggest losses to the site was when Chalky decided to go!! The only Admin that i ever see around lately is Eeyore Lover and i couldn't even name the others and don't know when i last saw them post!! And if there were any about surely they would have interevened on this thread by now!!!
Hi Pink,
I just wanted to let you know that you can find out who the admin are by clicking on the 'view forum leaders' link at the bottom of the main forum page. The admin are sufferers too and give their time voluntarily but are always happy to help if they're alerted to a problem. NMP is a really big site and it's impossible to spot every problem that arises. Therefore we welcome members getting in touch with their concerns because the admin have other duties in addition to posting and can't be around all the time. At the moment we are looking into various things to improve the site.
At the moment Nic (the owner) has chipped a bone in her elbow and some of the admin are going through their own periods of anxiety so please bare with us.
Take care,
Mike :)
Look people, its best put this thread to rest now. Thanks to the one or two members who also tried to explain what i meant, but its not doing anyone any good really to go on with it, and the last thing i want is for ppls anx to be worse because of it ok?
Ive had a great time on nmp and hope ive helped at least some ppl while ive been here. Thanks to all for support with past threads and i wish you all you wish for yourselves.
Take care...small steps :)
Cathy xxxx
Ps...im going to revive an old thread called 'a poem from Emma' cos it says all.
I am so cross to read all this thread, i will keep this short.
Cathy you are 100% right
Kelly you are very wrong. How on earth can you come on here and say i knew it wasn't anxiety after 15years of being told so. Unbelievable!!
I cannot comment in length but i am very annoyed that we may have lost a very valuable member - over all of this.
Karen
wrong about what exactly? im sorry you feel so angry. and im sorry that someone has decided to leave. again my intention was to find people that understand anxiety and can help me find a way of dealing with all this.
eeyorelover
03-06-08, 04:40
I would like to say that I don't believe that anyone meant to cause anyone anxiety by posting this. It is a valid question and one that is interesting to read the replies about... does anyone have any diagnosed medical condition that they feel contributes to thier anxiety.
I can see how this could have a triggering effect due to health anxiety. Having had health anxiety for years I can completely understand how reading such a post could be really scary and throw a person into the 'what if ' mode of wondering about their own health.
We do have to be ever mindful that there are members who have such issues with health anxiety while at the same time being supportive of people who have other issues that may contribute to their anxiety.
The admins of the site spend countless hours reading and replying to posts, addressing concerns of members, and trying to balance the needs of our individual members and the wellbeing of our site as a whole.
It is a fine line and sometimes we just can't please everyone.
That being said we do have guidelines in place that are meant to curb subjects such as suicidal posts and posts relating to issues which we lack the knowledge to provide information and support for and wish to keep off the forum due to the anxiety that such subjects could cause.
Personally I have been a member of this site for the past 3 years. When I joined I was housebound and having panic attacks everyday!
Over these past 3 years I have made loads of friends, all in different stages of dealing with their anxiety.
All of them have been amazingly supportive.
My point is that even though we may be individuals who are dealing with different levels of anxiety and at different stages in the fight to take back control of our lives, let's all remember that we have a commonality among us that binds us together as sort of an extended family.
We will not always see eye to eye and sometimes we may have our tiffs but remember that there are people here who share our concerns, our fears, and who we can turn to when we need reassurance, a virtual hug, or a well deserved pat on the back for overcoming a hurdle no matter how large or small. That is what this site was founded on and continues to provide for people from all walks of life.
I'm honored to be a small part of this site! It has helped to give me my life back and I am so proud to be part of it!!!
Ok here is an example...someone comes on here and says theyre really anxious, in the middle of a huge panic attack, and think theyre having a heart attack. Another member tells them its ok its only panic and anx, theyll be fine it will pass etcetc. So then this person says well im anxious because i have heart disease and it is a possibility that i could have a heart attack. So kelly what then? what am i supposed to say to them..don't worry its only anxiety giving you pains in your chest? I wouldnt be able to deal with it, coz i'm supposed to be in the company of ppl who really do only have anxiety. Why don't you get it? from a heart phobics point of view, why is it so hard for you to understand this side of things? I'm actually saying that probably nmp is geared more to ppl like you than to me. And its really ok, its just not for everyone and i hope to find an alternative.
But please, don't keep accusing me of saying things i'm not saying such as bugger off, or that id turn ppl away or telling you not to be on here. I havent said any of those things to you. These are only your interpretations. But i think its best to leave it there really now don't you :shrug: Its not doing either of us much good really.
Take care
Cathy
Cathy, just because you don't know what to say to someone in that situation doesn't mean that they shouldn't be here.
There are many people who suffer anxiety because of real ilnesses. And I'd hate to think that if any of mine are true, someone wouldn't want me around on this forum.
When you suffer from anxiety, it's is kind of nice to know that someone else is going through it yes? And it can help calm you down.
That's the reason Kelly started this post, and she found someone who has a medical condition and has anxiety about it, like her.
I know what you mean though Cathy, if I read a post about something I was anxious about, and the symptoms were the same I'd freak out aswell... But some of the symptoms Kelly listed are just anxiety, you know yours is just that.
ALOT of us on here get heart flutters and other things, it doesn't mean we all have heart diseases. Maybe in the future when someone posts about a real medical condition then they could put it in the title? That way Cathy, it's your choice to read it and there'll be no arguments.
Emz xx
Oh, another thing. Anxiety ISN'T just anxiety when you have nothing wrong with you, and Kelly has a right to post here due to her anxiety.
I am so cross to read all this thread, i will keep this short.
Cathy you are 100% right
Kelly you are very wrong. How on earth can you come on here and say i knew it wasn't anxiety after 15years of being told so. Unbelievable!!
I cannot comment in length but i am very annoyed that we may have lost a very valuable member - over all of this.
Karen
And a f**king gain..
I am getting Really f**king angry right now.
I too, suffer from health anxiety, and have had it for years.. I've gone from being heart anxiety to blood clot anxiety, to the point today.. Where the things I'm scared of aren't even real ilnesses. And I know that naturally any people with heart anxiety reading this will panic yes. But there is no way at all you should react like this.
You people are being selfish.
So only people who imagine they have ilnesses are allowed to post? And are allowed help?
There are hardly ANY posts about real illnesses, and when there is you want it all your own way.
I'd never dream of telling anyone to leave because they have health issues.
We're all here because we have something in common, and we want help. Which is what we're all doing here.
Kelly has as much right to be here as everyone else.
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
I have posted at length about all my thyroid problems...very real, I ended up having a large tumour removed from my throat! I suppose that could upset someone. And all the anxiety I suffered as my operation came up, was that not real anxiety? Is only causeless anxiety real?
Guys, l think this thread has said everything from both sides now and its not necessary to have ppl argueing about something that is apersonal hangup of mine, but before its laid to rest can i just say that you all may have forgotten my origional point in all of this.
The question that kelly asked about 'other Conditions' wasnt the problem. I already know that there are members with physical problems and 'real' illnesses on nmp, i know about ppl with thyroid probs and tumours and all of the other 'real' problems ppl on here face and that they can have anxiety because of them.
What made it very hard for me to read was her 2nd post, after someone had replied to her question, where she launched into a graphic description of her heart problem, and some of these symptoms mirror exactly the symptoms a heart phobic's experiences. I would never want anyone to be 'turned away' because of having a 'real' illness and thats not what i was trying to say, so i apologise to all the members who i offended with my posts about this subject.
It was also not my intention to cause so much debate over it. As you can see from my membership, i hardly ever start new threads for myself, being happiest just to read others and (usually) quietly answering and supporting other members with anxiety problems, in particular of course, heart phobia because its something thats been part of my life for so many years.
I can be quite blunt sometimes i know and being a scouser i tend to call a spade a shovel, but dont mean to cause anyone any pain, just soetimes i prefer it when ppl wake up and smell the coffee, and i sometimes give them a bit of a nudge to do it.
I hope to stay around but doubt if i'll be able to participate in the same way as before, like i said this is my problem, my hang-up and i'll deal with it quietly for myself. I'd like to go on reading the posts that maybe are more relevent to my anxiety, and feel that just reading a few each day will perhaps continue to help.
Take care all
Cathy xxxx :)
Kelly obviously didn't mean any harm, but perhaps it makes sense to post messages about health, as opposed to health anxiety, in the "General Anxiety" or "Symptoms" forums?
I just want to say that nobody has ever said that Kelly is not welcome here, of course she is!
Yes, there are some members on here that have real medical problems (not mental ones like myself!!) but I believe they have taken the time and have chosen there wording very carefully when it has come to them explaining there anxiety, I feel that Kelly has not. But i'm sure it was never her intention to upset anybody.
How many ppl on here suffer from Health Anxiety even though they have no medical condition - a large majority i feel and i hope all of this has not made then feel even worse like i do now.
Does that mean that all my previous heart tests are probably wrong!!!!?? and that i don't actually have anxiety at all???????????????????????????!!!!!
Everyone has the right to be here and we all need to help each other. This site is wonderful and we need to keep it that way.
I wish everybody the very best
Karen:)
Pink Panic
03-06-08, 11:33
Hi Pink,
I just wanted to let you know that you can find out who the admin are by clicking on the 'view forum leaders' link at the bottom of the main forum page. The admin are sufferers too and give their time voluntarily but are always happy to help if they're alerted to a problem. NMP is a really big site and it's impossible to spot every problem that arises. Therefore we welcome members getting in touch with their concerns because the admin have other duties in addition to posting and can't be around all the time. At the moment we are looking into various things to improve the site.
At the moment Nic (the owner) has chipped a bone in her elbow and some of the admin are going through their own periods of anxiety so please bare with us.
Take care,
Mike :)
Hi Mike
Thanks for taking the time to reply. After reading the list i'm still of the same opinion in that the Site is lacking in Admin. This is in NO way personal to any of the existing Admin i just feel that it would be beneficial for everyone if someone more senior was around on a more regular basis than is happening at the mo.
I know you are all anx sufferers and i know you do it voluntarily and you all have my admiration as i certainly couldn't do it BUT when you are suffering yourselves perhaps it would be a good idea to have a back-up so that there was less pressure on you and the Site could be covered.
I really believe that this Site is at the stage where guidelines need to be in place for incidents like the one i was directly involved in so that they are dealt with promptly and members anxiety is not increased!!
I did pm Nic on Saturday but never got a reply but i later learnt from reading on the thread that she was suffering from a PA at the time which cannot be helped.
I did as i said earlier try the Chat Room looking for Senior Members which brought no response even though i now realise that there was a Trusted Member logged on!!
Pickle and i both commented on how we saw 8 people reading the thread but not one responded and this is when having more people in Admin could really be beneficial and would take the pressure off people like myself and Pickle who came here for support on a Saturday afternoon and end up having to deal with incidents that are totally outwith our capabilites!!
Hi Pink,
I know you're not personally criticising existing admin and I respect your opinion. :) We're actually working on new guidelines at the moment and organising things behind the scenes. Once they've been finalised everyone will be made aware of them but until then the forum rules are accessed through a link in the top left of the screen.
I work Saturdays but I do pop on each day to check pm's etc. even if I don't post. I'm therefore more than happy for members to pm me if there's a problem and in most cases I'll pick it up within a few hours. A backup system is something that's been looked into in the past such as admins who aren't sufferers but the problem is they would have to be paid.
I'm sorry you were in a situation that made your anxiety worse. :hugs:
Take care,
Mike :)
you know what,
15 years,for 15 bloody long, exhausting, terrifying heartbreaking precious years of my life i have had doors slammed in my face. been told get a grip, its anxiety, your freaking out, calm down stop panicking, take deep breaths. for 15 years i have been made to feel soley responsible for my heart problems, by doctors, friends and family. but somewhere inside i always knew it wasnt anxiety, you say this is unbelievable, its the only thing that kept me hanging on in the worst days. believe what you will karen. i was made to feel weak minded and feeble, anxiety ridden all because my heart would randomly beat at an accelerated rate for hours and hours sometimes days, im not talking about ectopics, although ive had those too, and flutters and just about anything else you care to mention. i would suffer at home too scared to face the inevitable, "your having a panic attack, go home and calm down" from the docs.
over the years the claims by everyone that my problems were all coming from my own head had a profound effect on me. i truly believed that i was causing all of this myself.
i became a person i didnt recognise, i started slowly but surely to suffer from low grade constant anxiety. this grew and grew until it became a monster a monster that totally changed me from a lively chatty person to a person that would fake illness to get out of seeing my friends.
i was ashmed of myself and alone with my own terrifying fears.
then bang i got lucky, i had an attack, an ambulance was called, an immediate diagnosis was made, even before i reached the hospital, the tracing showed i had afib, my worst fear.
two days in the cardio unit and 19 hours in afib, finally corrected by meds and i was sent home with a prescription for the rest of my life and a minor heart condition that is not helped by anxiety but most definately not caused by it.
no apology for wrecking my mental health for 15 years, no support just me and my family trying to hold each other together, can you imagine how that feels after 15 f**king years!
i limp on for 6 months, the meds do there job, i cry some days that i have to take them but i know i should be grateful they work.
the anxiety now is so huge and i confide in no one, not a soul, i am unravelling, everyone thinks im doing fine but my mind is fragmenting.
its getting harder and harder to maintain a normal life, kids work etc. i am starting to have scarey dizzy spells, cant breathe, shaking, scared out of my wits.
then i face it at last, it is not my heart that is causing these things its my head.
i face something so big, i finally admit to myself that i have acute anxiety. anxiety that is based in unfounded fears about my health. anxiety that causes me to obsess about the stae of my physical health constantly.
i make a huge decision, i am no longer going to hide from this i am going to take control back and im going to get help and support.
i google.
i find nmp.
i hang around for a while reading.
im scared.
im so very scared.
i gather my courage.
i register.
i post.
i find a person that says i understand, your not alone.
i cry and cry and cry.
after 15 years im not alone with this demon anymore.
i start to think that not anly will i get support here but maybe my experience will be able to help other people.
then someone comes along nad tries to shut the door.
not this time
not this time.
will your heart tests turn out to be wrong too......i dont know
but one thing is for sure reading about someone elses will not induce a physiological heart condition, thats heart condition, not disease cathy, no matter how scared you are.
anxiety is not about being scared of spiders, or flying or heart disease, its about the response we have to the fear of fear.
i may have only been here for ashort period of time but i owe it to myself to keep going, even in the face of anger, disbelief or misunderstanding, just like i have for the past 15 years.
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
nomorepanic
03-06-08, 18:18
After reading the list i'm still of the same opinion in that the Site is lacking in Admin. This is in NO way personal to any of the existing Admin i just feel that it would be beneficial for everyone if someone more senior was around on a more regular basis than is happening at the mo.
As you can tell it is hard to hang on to some admins as basically the job can be cr@p at times and people just don't want the added hassle and stress in their lives. I sometimes wish I could leave it all behind as well. I am fairly sure that the recent hassles on NMP have contributed to my PA's coming back and that is very sad really. As Mike said we are working on guidelines and will be bringing more admins on board but I cannot guarantee that one will be on the site all day every day - that is too much to ask.
I did pm Nic on Saturday but never got a reply but i later learnt from reading on the thread that she was suffering from a PA at the time which cannot be helped.
I did post on the thread when I saw your PM but there is absolutely nothing I could do other than remove the thread or let it run so the member knew we were there for her.
I did as i said earlier try the Chat Room looking for Senior Members which brought no response even though i now realise that there was a Trusted Member logged on!!
Pickle and i both commented on how we saw 8 people reading the thread but not one responded and this is when having more people in Admin could really be beneficial and would take the pressure off people like myself and Pickle who came here for support on a Saturday afternoon and end up having to deal with incidents that are totally outwith our capabilites!!
I am still unsure what an admin could do more than any other member? Under the rules the post should have just been removed and that was that. Don't forget that this incident would be well outside anyone's capabilities to deal with and I know you tried your best but there was nothing anyone could do. It was unfair of the member to even post in the first place and put people in such a worrying situation to be honest.
nomorepanic
03-06-08, 18:20
Kelly - you hang on in there ok :yesyes:
You sound like a strong person to me and not one that will be easily beaten so you fight back and stay strong ok?
i will nicola,
i definately will.
one day i will be able to say i have conquered my anxiety and hopefully at the same time help others in a similar situation to mine.
with the help and support of the good people of this forum i am starting to believe it will happen
love kelly xxxx
p.s.
nicola i want to pm about something seperate, but not sure how to can you tell me please. xx
Pink Panic
03-06-08, 19:54
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I am still unsure what an admin could do more than any other member? Under the rules the post should have just been removed and that was that. Don't forget that this incident would be well outside anyone's capabilities to deal with and I know you tried your best but there was nothing anyone could do. It was unfair of the member to even post in the first place and put people in such a worrying situation to be honest.
I agree with you that this incident was outwith anyones capabilites to deal with but unfortunately it was my capabilities that were put to the test!!!
Yes it was unfair .... i totally agree with that, and i don't honestly know what an Admin or a Senior member could have done either that would have been different BUT the fact that i was left alone to deal with it has had a profound effect on me and i'm sorry but i feel let down by the whole experience and i'm now leaving this site after much thought and discussion as it is now provoking my anxiety instead of reassuring me.
The last few days have been bad for me ... i had to see a CPN yesterday who spoke with my Psych, who then prescribed new anti-psychotics and now today i feel worse and have to see the Psych on Friday. I'm not saying that what happened on here caused me to relapse as maybe that would have happened anyway but it certainly didn't help me and that's very sad that the one place i come to and think of as a life line is the cause of my distress!!
I hope that you do manage to bring more Admins on board so that there won't be a recurrance of what happened on Saturday and i wish you all the very best for the future.
Thank you also to everyone who has answered my posts in the past and sent me pm's and i wish you all the best in your recovery.
Love
Pink Panic
xoxo
Kelly, after 15 years of suffering i'm glad you found this forum, i really am if youve met ppl who can help your problems. It must be a huge relief. Its always a relief to the ppl who do discover it, and it was also a huge relief to me too...after 32 years. I'm 54 now and had my first taste of ectopics and panic when i was 22. Ive had more tests than hot dinners and finally when i found nmp i started to believe what the docs had all been telling me, that it was only the power of anxiety that made me feel so bad, because so many others with the same symptoms were here with me...I couldnt believe it. I started to feel much better. Then i read your posts and suddenly it was like someone had 'closed the door' on me too.
Look, why do we need to go on with this thread in this way? i'm obviously the one with the problem since most ppl, including the owner thinks i got it badly wrong. Ive apologised a few times now...to everyone that i might have offended, and thanked the one or two ppl that suffers with the same phobia as i do for their support, so i dont know what else to say to you. Except lifes too short. I'l lstay on the forum to try to help ppl with heart phobia as ive always done but you and i dont have to cross paths, there are so many members it wont be necessary, so i would suggest we drop this thread now because i think enough has been said don't you?
I wish you well
Cathy :)
nomorepanic
03-06-08, 22:08
Kelly
You can PM me at my name (nomorepanic) or mail me at nomorepanic@btinternet.com
Pink Panic - take care of you ok? Good luck with your recovery and never say goodye - just "bye for now". I hope things get better for you soon.
Cathy - I do NOT think you got it wrong at all. I was just merely trying to explain my perspective on the thread and not blame anyone at all.
We all have opinions and you are entitled to yours and there is no reason for you to leave at all.
Blimey peeps......
This is the reason I need to stop coming on here. Am I addicted to NMP? Hmm.....
As I've said before, there comes a time when I think this is bad for anxiety recovery...
So long :-)
Wow! This thread took some reading through!
Firstly I would like to say.... I do not suffer from Health Anxiety.... the title caught my attention and I thought I'd give it a read and before I knew it I was engrossed.
On reflection over some of the thread content it got me thinking about personal responsibility. At all times I have the choice to read or not to read. If I hit the middle of a post and i feel ooo i dont like that, it's making me really uncomfortable, I stop. I do not feel under any obligation at all to post on any thread and I never take emotional responsibility for what anyone else is posting either. I know this may appear blunt and uncaring it is far from it.
I am here because I suffer from anxiety and Im not going to do anything that may increase that anxiety. If I feel I can be of some support I will offer my own perceived ideas of what may be considered support and comfort. And that is all they ever will be. If they help...well thats all the more fantastic.
Pooh
well said poo, i too took alook at this thread and suddenly was engrossed too. i cant really reply to this thread i not really a big sufferer either but i agree with u that people can choose whether they read a thread or not and everyone here is entitled to there own opinions and views hugs poo xx
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