And Again

[Emaa]

I know this is the second time I've written today.

The crisis team still haven't called back.

And now I've managed to move onto something else to be anxious about.

I'm going fooking crazy!!

I've been awake all night, and my eyes stung, so I closed them. Then they stung like hell.. Filled with water.. And then I thought they were coming out.

Or at least coming out further than normal.

Can this happen?

OMG someone please help me, I'm home alone and freaking out.

Please
Emz xx

[Emaa]

Now I'm getting palpatations and chest pains and I feel like I'ma pass out.

Wtf am I supposed to do??

I thought I had got over my anxiety.
Now it's back worse than ever.

I'm not used to feeling like this anymore.

I'm scared.

[Cathy V]

Emz, you need to just take some deep breaths...its only the anx thats making you imagine these things ok? your head will not seperate from your neck and your eyes will not come out of your head. I think you know this yourself but the panics can feel v. bad i know, try try try to take some deep breaths, you're ok, and gonna be fine, nothings gonna happen to you ok? if the MH teamthought you were in danger theyd have acted quickly, so because they havent this means they think youre ok too. Try to think positive ok? Are you on any meds at the moment? if so what are they and what if any are the side effects...sometimes meds can make us think strange things too.

I'm here...talk to me.
Cathy xxx

[janeybaby25]

emaa, do you know your breathing techniques? I do this, when I am having an attack.

Lay or sit somewhere comfortable & put one hand on chest & one hand on stomach. Take deep slow breathes & try & regulate your breathing so you are breathing from your stomach like a baby & not short fast ones from your chest. Then as you do this, work up thru your body starting at your feet by tensing the muscles & then slowing reasing the tension & focusing on how relaxed your muscles feel after realsing the tension. work up from your body right thru to your face muscles & hopefully this will make you calm down.

let me know how you get on.

[Cathy V]

Emz, what happened between you answering noonoo's post about periods and feeling like you do? you sound ok when you replied to her post not long ago :)

Cathy xxx

[Emaa]

Thankyou so much for replying. =]

No, I'm not on meds. Like I said, I thought I was better. I had been anxiety free for about 8 months.

I've noticed something though, when me and my bf aren't together.. My anxiety seems to calm down.

We split up 8 months ago, and got back together 8 weeks ago. The last 4 weeks my anxiety has been getting worse and worse. I've noticed before though, (We've been on and off for 4 years) that when we split up.. After a while my anxiety decreases.. :|

Idk what to do at all.

Emz x

[Emaa]

Emz, what happened between you answering noonoo's post about periods and feeling like you do? you sound ok when you replied to her post not long ago :)

Cathy xxx

Idk... If I can help someone on here I will, And I guess I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about things.

>.<

[janeybaby25]

Hi, I have been free for about 8 mths too & just starting up with them again & its worrying me too. I know exactly how you feel. Its been scary with them starting up again. :hugs:

[Cathy V]

Well I think you might have answered your own question there! you obviously know who triggers your anxiety! now you have to find a way to deal with it. You'll find lots of info and ppl on nmp willing to help you through, bu as in all 'addictions' we have to try to give up the one thats making us so ill, whether it be drink, drugs, rock and roll...or a bloke. We have to want to help ourselves and take the first step, before we can expect other to help us too.

Best wishes
Cathy xxx :)

[Emaa]

Thanks again [: xxxxxxxx:hugs:

[Emaa]

My anxiety isn't calming down at all.

I've got a really bad headache now, like the headache you have after you've cried for ages... Except I haven't cried.

I know it's probably 'cause of lack of sleep. I'm absolutley nackered. But Smart-Ass here decided to drink cups upon cups of coffee. &#172;.&#172;

[kellyw]

hi emz,
how are you feeling now?
have the panic feelings started to subside?
im not a doctor but i can guarantee that cups of coffee will increase all the anxiety symptoms, it is a stimulant so when you are stressed it will stress your system even more.
drink some warm water with honey or lemon nad sit in a qieut place or try nad get some sleep if possible.
i hope you are ok
take good care
kelly xx

[Emaa]

My heart's slowing down a bit now.. And my shakes are subsiding. But I'm still like.. Petrified.

I hate this.

I know the thoughts I get are irrational, And I know that I'm fine. But I continue to let myself get like this over it.

My body doesn't listen to my head. ¬.¬ Just instict. I aren't strong enough to tell myself I'm okay and believe it. =o/

[kellyw]

hi emz,
you are stronger than you think you know. through that whole panic time you still managed to post to me and reassure me and support me on the other thread. i think once the panic begins its not about strength at all but about letting it take its course and not fighting it, oh yeah and distraction too.
i really hope you are feeling better now.
and thank you so much for being kind to a stranger!!
take good care
kelly xx

[Emaa]

I'm fine now. :)

Thanks for talking to me.

No doubt I'll be on here again soon lol.

Emz xx

[BLONDE PANIC]

hi emaa, i've just read your posts from this morning!
hope you're feeling better now! its all too familier!!!
you may be on too something there with the bloke thing, i'm the same!! with me its like a vicious circle, i'm panicy-he doesnt know what to do to help-i ask him just be there nothing more-he startes to lose patients-an argument starts-making the sittuation worse-i freak out-he walks out!!! GREAT!!

[Emaa]

It's kind of different with my fella lol. Well.. He's done ALOT of things to break my trust, but I can't fing the strength to leave him. When I do I always come running back.

It's weird, but I think my anxiety is my bodys way of coping. o.0 I never shout or argue with him, he's really supportive about my anxiety which is awesome. But what's the need if when I'm not with him?

He's coming over tonight so I'm going to try talk to him.

found out that last week he stole one of my little brothers consoles worth &#163;285 and sold it. I think that's what's sending me on a bender.
Emz xx

[BLONDE PANIC]

Oh dear, that won't help your stress!
the trust thing is a biggy too!! I hope you get it sorted! come and chat to me anytime!! you stay strong girl!!!! xx

Cathy w xx

[Emaa]

Well he was actually due her half an hour ago lol.

So now I'm a little anxious as to where he is.

... And what I'm going to say to him.

I'd be on my ass right now without this forum, I really would.

Emz xx