Hi I am new and would appreciate some help!

[nikkinoo]

Hi everyone,
My name is Nikki and I have been suffering with panic and anxiety attacks for 3 years. I lost a baby 3 years ago and this seemed to be the trigger. The worst part is the feelings of unreality I seem to experience when I dare to venture outside the house. I am totally scared of this feeling and it is making it difficult for me to go out alone and do the simplest of things. I have been unable to drve my car or even nip out to by milk from the local shops! I feel so alone, gulity, frustrated and cross with myself. I just want to experience independance again and not be reliant on others to fetch and carry for me. I have been having hypnotherapy which has helped with my sleep pattern, as at one point I hardly slept. I constantly had sweaty hands and my breathing was all over the place and palpitations were frequent. This thankfully has all calmed down. My husband has just been diagnosed with kidney failure and he has been quite poorly for the last few months and so the pressure is really on for me to get better, so that I can look after him and run the errands on my own to take the pressure off of him. The thought of this terrifies me. Any help or advise would be much appreciated.
Many thanks Nikki. :-) x

[thevoicewithinme]

Hello Nikki and welcome to NMP :)

I am really sorry to see that you have and are still having a rough time of things, but you have come to the right place for great advice from people who really do understand how you are feeling.

Kaz

[NatashaW31]

:welcome: Hi Nikki,
i'm so sorry to hear you have had such a bad time,
you will get lots of advise and support here, new myself and everyone has been lovely,
Life is surtainly not easy especially when we are having all these unpleasant things thrown at us to deal with, But now you have us to get it all out instead of it going around and around in your head.
sendding you great big hugs :bighug1:
Take care Nat x

[lilly-lou]

Hi Nikki,
I too lost my baby son 14yrs ago and this was the trigger of my anxiety, I'm sorry to hear that your hubby is ill this must be hard for you have you got any family that can help out? If you need to chat just P.M. me. Lilly-lou

[kellie]

Hiya Nikki :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here :yesyes: .
You will get lots of support/advice/reasurance and make some great friends along the way. Im sorry you are not doing to good at the moment, keep posting and we will help as much as we can and i hope to talk to you in chat soon.

take care. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Nibbles]

Hi Nikki and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way. I'm sorry to hear you've been through such a tough time and things are difficult at the moment. Try not to look at recovery as being one huge mountain with massive pressure to get better. You can't help the way you feel and are doing your best which is what matters.

Something you could try to do is break down tasks into small steps and concentrate on one area of your anxiety. You say that going to the local shop is difficult so that could be your first goal. Start by writing down what your fears are and then write down the rational response next to each one. Then break down the task into steps YOU feel you can manage and repeat each one before you move on. The first step could be walking to the shop, the next spending 5 minutes in the shop and so on. Whatever you decide the important thing is to go at your pace.

Take care,

Mike :)

[milly jones]

aww nikki

welcome to nmp hun and i hope u gain some comfort here

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

milly xxx

[sandramick]

hi i lost my daughter (stillbirth ) 17 years ago . an looking back i can c this was my trigger . i have had good years andbad ones . had hard time round xmas but coming through it now . this site is the best finding new friends to help u through the bad daysis a life saver . u r not alone . stay strong xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lindalou64]

Hello Nikki And Welcome Im Sorry To Hear Ya Hubby Is Not Well, Im Sure You Will Find The Strength To Fight This, Just Remember Its Just A Feeling Scary Yes But Does Pass I Do Wish You All Well......stay Positive , Linda

[nikkinoo]

Many thanks to you all for all your messages of encouragement and support. I know I am not alone and with all the help supplied by this brilliant site I have found comfort and reassurance. It is nice to know that there are genuine caring people who understand all the problems anxiety cause in general day to day life and how difficult it is to function "normally".
Take care all of you. Nikki. x

[lukgem]

thinking about you and what your going through,im new to this to but i know everyone linked to this sight is rooting for you and hoping you will get through this as quick as possible knowing you will come out the other side stronger people.draw on our strength in the bad times,we might not be there physically but there is a virtual army of supporters with you whenever you need us.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to the site. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and that your husband is ill. You will find that many here understand how you feel and you will get support.

Many hugs,

Laura

[chalky]

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Lilith1980]

Hi Nikki

Welcome to NMP :)

Jo xxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hi nikki, firstly so sorry for you for your loss, this is a trauma and one that would devastate anyone so dont feel bad that it has resulted in anxiety like you are now suffering? but you can recover from the anxiety with time and positivity! also its tough that your husband has got sick, but you are definately showing strength because you want to help him? so you are well motivated to get better and you will! but you have to remember that avoiding anxiety by staying in your house and not doing the normal things you used to do is a very bad habit that needs breaking! so now you are in a position where you feel you 'have' to break it, and that is great, but you will need to be very very kind to yourself becasue some days may not go so great and you cannot beat yourself up because like i said sometimes anxiety gets the better of us all:mad: like mike said i would advise you not putting too much pressure on yourself, you have got good motivation, but dont try to become your old self overnight? however you are going through a tough period because your recovery is almost being forced on you? sometimes this is the best thing that could happen - its happening to me right now and although uncomfortable i am making the biggest progress in 8 years, actually reversing the process of being like this! so you will be fine and you have lots of support and help on here so your never alone:yesyes: tc, emma xxxxxxxxx

[nikkinoo]

Dear Emma,
Many thanks for your words of encouragement. Today has been a very upsetting day as my poor hubby has a severe chest infection and has strained his ribs coughing so much, he is practically imobile and I had to call the DR out! Needless to say he needed a prescription dispensed and wow, di I panic!! It was up to me to sort it out! I am unable to pluck up the courage to drive, but I managed to get a lift to the chemist and I know it sounds silly, but I managed to walk into the chemist alone and wait for 15 minutes while it was dispensed. I did not panic! I was amazed!! I even managed to walk the short distance to the paper shop for milk tonight with my daughter as well. I feel absolutely exhausted, but really chuffed. I am just so scared that I will not be able to keep it up and continue to make progress. It sounds as though you are in a similar situation where recovery is being forced upon you and it is not easy. I just hope each day I will find the strength to cope a little better with anxiety. Take good care. Nikki. xxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: :hugs: hey nikki, im sorry your husband was sick - i mean i know he is ill but i mean that you had to get the doc out and do all that you did - BUT YOU DID IT!!!!!! dont let go of that fact - you are much much stronger than you think. this is sooooo hard to have to have a big stress placed on you and your loved ones when you have been suffeing from grief and anxiety for a long time. but anyway you have to get on with looking after both yourself and your husband and all the lovely ppl - me included:winks: lol on nmp are here to help you get through when you are struggling. but although you have two things going on at the same time i think you will do brilliantly well, so be very kind to yourself:hugs: you say that you cant think yet about going in the car? okay well thats just a step too far today, but would you have thought a while ago tha tyou would go into the chemsits? from wha tyo said it sounds as though you wouldnt have so you can then apply this logic to going in the car dont you think, what once seemed utterly impossible becomes probable, because you learn to accept and ignore the high levels of anxiety - you know they are like your constant companion but they dont kill you do they? so you can carry on with wha tyou have to do AND feel anxious - thats all that changes really, the ability to continue whilst feeling anxious. i know 100% that it is horrible that your husband is unwell and i know you dont want that, but if you have to have it, which you do because you cant change that, you just have to go through it - then atleast something positive will come out of it - you will recover your confidence and you will overcome anxiety:yesyes: tc, emma xxxxxx