View Full Version : Weekend away...HELP!!!!
I'm supposed to be going away for a couple of nights this weekend with the boyfriend, just down to Norfolk, but it involves a two and half hour drive and I'm getting really stressed! I thought I would be all right when I agreed to it, in fact I was looking forward to it, but I've suddenly lost my nerve. I'm really scared of getting stuck in a traffic jam and panicking, which has happened to me before. I'm also really nervous about being sick in the car, another long-standing fear of mine. I'm generally not in great shape at the moment, and I'm wondering, should I say I don't feel up to it or give it a go? I'm worried that if I don't go I will feel a failure and like I've let him down, but if I do go and can't cope that will be even worse and could really set me back....
janeybaby25
04-06-08, 13:28
Hi Samira,
Don't worry I feel like this sometimes when I know a weekend away is coming up or a holiday. But I like to think of it this way, what if I don't have an attack, I will have a lovely time then. I always tell my boyf my fears to start off & I know he will look after me if I do have one. I try not to let it stop me from doing stuff I want to & I urge you to do the same. Have you been with your bloke a long time? is he aware of your worries? xx
Hi samira, i take it you're talking about the motorway? if so its a common thing for alot of us on nmp this one isnt it. Fortunately my ever understanding chap will go on the A-roads if im with him. it might take a bit longer, but generally not much longer coz most of the ppl are on the motorways stuck in the jams! Is it possible to plan your rout on the A-roads? if its 2 hours away it wouldnt be much longer to travel this way.
Just an idea
Cathy
Thanks Jane, yes, we've been together four years and he is fantastic, very calm, and he does know I have these problems (he's had to deal with me hyperventilating and clutching at his arm while he's trying to drive before now) so I can tell him, which is a help. I still worry about spoiling things for him though. Fortunately he has a very easy-going temperament (unlike me!) and tends to take things in his stride. You're right about the roads Cathy, I feel better if I'm on a road where we can pull over if need be. Gosh, what a headache these problems are! Thanks for your help and support. x
Hi Samira
I too am in a similar situation just now. I'm supposed to be going for a spa weekend (yes, I know it should be relaxing!) next week with a friend & today when talking to her about booking it my anxiety got the better of me. I'm torn between postponing & taking the plunge & am having a bit of a battle in my head. I think what made it worse is that part of my CBT was to make a trip away from home every week & I've missed this week - suddenly it feels like I have no time to prepare!
It's only 1 1/2 away from home & my friend has offered to drive so what do I have to worry about?? It would mean two nights away from home & I guess that's what I'm worried about.
Should I just go for it???!
Mel
hiya just wanted to say u can take stuff for travel sickness and also flat coke works a treat too. i think it will be lovely for u both and mayb u could go really early or late when theres no traffic about, just a thought hugs xxxx
Maybe all this panic and doubt is just in anticipation of the trip. Once you get on the road you'll probably be fine.
I used to be like this, but travelled anyway. Now I am fairly calm on long journies. In fact in March, I flew to Berlin (impossible last year) and ended up comforting a friend who was scared of the flight.
In time, you will overcome this!
take care
Yes...maybe it'll be all right...I've just come over really nervous now it's tomorrow, I feel all tense and I've got a really bad headache. I hate being like this....
I tend to agree with Click. Try and "float" with it, you are just experiencing anticipation anxiety.
out of interest, will you be ok when you get to your destination? I travel fine but being away on a break sends me into anxiety overdrive until I get home.
Hope your fears are not realised, and you have a good time :)
Jaco
That's part of the problem Jaco, I get really anxious away from home, I have all sorts of fears about being ill away from home and usually I'm like a cat on hot bricks until I get back. We're going to stay with my boyfriend's best friend who owns a pub, and last night I was testing the water, saying to him, 'You could go on your own if I couldn't come, couldn't you?' but he said he really wants me to come. It will be the first time we've been away anywhere since my operation, when we were driving home from the hospital and got stuck in the traffic jam from hell. I got in a panic so bad I lost all feeling in my hands, I was in such a state I had to have a lie down at a Comfort Inn by the side of the road. It took two valiums for me to get back in the car! Just writing about it now is making my hands sweaty! But I feel I must make the effort for the boyfriend, he's been really kind and understanding since my breakdown.
Arrrrgggh!!!!
Your partner sounds like a top chap :)
When I was at my worst, I used to get panic in traffic jams real bad, but after reading alot of Claire Weekes stuff, I found coping with it became easier.
To be honest I didn't have much choice, no driving = no job = gawd, a whole lot of other worrys to do with supporting family, kids etc.
She does say in her books, and trained professionals have said this to me too, that the way to overcome these fears is to face them. Sounds frightening I know but the alternative is avoidance, and that leads to feeling low and disappointed, and the more you avoid, the harder it will be to face the fear.
I suppose the analogy is like a kid falling off a bike. If he didn,t get back on it straight away, he will fear it and it will take longer for him to learn to ride.
Anyway I am waffling :) I hope it goes more smoothly than you anticipate.
On another note, did you say pub? I could go in your place if you like ;)
TC
Jaco
Hi Samira
Try and accept that you are going to feel a bit anxious on this trip. Having had a bad experience your brain is quite sure of how to panic again. Remind yourself of all the times you've been in a car and been ok even I bet if stuck in a traffic jam. Take something with you to help take your mind off the car ride. A book or magazine. Some great music. Knitting or crochet crossword puzzle anything you like doing that requires some concentration. Like you I have this fear I carry some baby wipes in the car and when I get really panicky I very slowly wipe my hands and arms and face which relaxes the muscles. I even clean the dashboard and door if I'm feeling really bad.One more thing I'm not sure where you are coming from but I live in Holbeach which is on the A17 one of the main routes into Norfolk. Chances are you will be coming on that road unless you live in East Anglia or Essex. If so look out for it and think Sheba2 lives there and I bet she's panicking about something too. Hope this helps and you manage to go and have a great time.
Thank you Sheba, that really does help. The place we're going to is called Little Snoring, do you know it? I don't really know Norfolk so I don't know if it's near Holbeach. I'll definitely look out for it and think of you!
Jaco, yes, the pub...it's my boyfriend's idea of heaven, sits drinking with his mate all night and then staggers off to bed!
Hi Samira.
Yes I know little snoring. My husbands cousin lives close by. We are often in Norfolk. Holbeach is actually in Lincolnshire but you have to pass through if you come from the north or midlands. The road does get busy but there are not usually any traffic jams until you reach Kings lyn and then they are not too bad until the school holidays. If you get to Kings lynn and it is busy there are ways around it. Hope you have a lovely time. Norfolk is a lovely place to relax and watch the world go by.
Thanks Sheba, getting very nervous now as we're driving down this evening...the churning stomach is back! Thanks for all your help everyone, you've been brilliant. xx
Hope you have a lovely time Samira:D
Look forward to hearing about it on the success thread:yesyes:
Have Fun:yesyes:
Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:
purplehaze
06-06-08, 14:43
There was a time I would rather have watched 24 hrs of party political broadcast while eating dry weetabix than drive anywhere but now its not as bad. I am still not that fond of traffic jams but then who is? I would suggest that you do all you can in advance for the journey...I.E. all the things that make you feel safe and secure. valium before you start off..paper bag for breathing, but take the ice buns out first:-)...The good thing is your in the car with someone that loves you and understands how you feel.
take care
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