Peoples' reactions to Health Anxiety

[worriedGrace]

I felt I had to share with you all an experience today that really upset me. I have a work colleague who over the past 10 years has become a friend. We have shared the ups and downs of family life and supported each other through bereavments both family and pets so I thought we were on the same wavelength.
Today I mentioned that I have an appointment at the hospital for a sigmoidoscopy and after explaining what it was I confided that I suffer from Health Anxiety and was rather worried. Her response took me by surprise. I am 'one of those malingerers who fill up doctor's waiting rooms taking appointments from people who are really ill'. I should pull myself together, I am weak and plenty of people have 'real things' to worry about and on and on in the same fashion. I was very hurt that someone I thought was a friend should treat me this way.
Has anyone else had this response? I was so amazed I could think of nothing to say and felt like crying but I would not give her the satisfaction of proving that I am a spineless wimp............her words!:mad:

[marie1974]

hiya i think there are alot of people who dont understand certain issues and problems and its hard if u dont suffer from them to fully understand. i guess your friend is one of those. i always remember my mum telling me when she was young she suffereed with it terribly after my grandad got cancer and nan had to hide all the papers and articles on health and nothing worked she just kept panicking and in the end my nan took her to hospital and they giv her thorough examination and then told her off and said she wasting there time as theres nothing wrong and there are real sick people here needing help. im not sure it was the right approach but it fixed my mum it kind of shocked her into recovery hehe. mayb if u explain to yr friend and get her to read up on this abit more she may understand u more hugs xxx

[kazzie]

Thats Horrid:lac:

Have a:hugs: from me

Kaz x

[milly jones]

i sympathise with u hun


i dont have ha but after chatting to friends on nmp i have more understanding about it.

its like those ppl who think sa is ur shy and dont like speaking in front of an audience.

if only ppl had a small glimpse of our disabling conditions they would praps have more empathy

keep ur chin up hun

milly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[KAREN L]

That's awful.

Well she is not really a true friend then is she.
Please take no notice of her pure ignorance!

Take care

Karen

[kellyw]

i have not had the exact same thing but i have had lots of people especially extended family and friends roll there eyes at me when i say i dont feel well. ive also had people say, god you have really bad health dont you kelly, youre always ill. and one family memeber very recently said the next time you tell me you are ill or feel bad im gonna tell you to get a f**king grip cause its all in youre mind!!!!
those comments are the worst, they really crush your confidence dont they.
try not to let it get you down. she obviously doesnt have any understanding at all of health anxiety, actually i dont know many people that do except people that suffer from it.
hope you are feeling ok.
take good care
kelly xx


This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter

[eternally optimistic]

Hi,

Oh, I am so sorry you had that experience today, that must have made you feel really bad.

I've been really lucky with people who have been interested in trying to know about the way I feel. Some of them, work colleagues, have had similar experiences in the past too.

Unfortunately, it is people's ignorance that makes them like this. I suppose I might have been like that once, without knowing, who knows.

You are not a weak person and that sort of comment will not help.

Be strong and keep smiling.

Share your thoughts again here if you feel sad again, I'm sure you wont.

Good luck

J

[Emira7]

I know what your saying, I tend to keep it to myself, it takes alot of courage to say how you are feeling, especially as when you talk out loud about Health Anxiety it does sound ridiculous - even to me. But I still feel it every day and its still a very real anxiety from the minute i wake until the minute I go to bed.

Saying that what a terrible thing to say, just because someone does not understand it, there is no need for the ignorance.

You keep your chin up! Friends who react like that are not true friends.

Emira
x

[itoldyouiwasill]

I felt I had to share with you all an experience today that really upset me. I have a work colleague who over the past 10 years has become a friend. We have shared the ups and downs of family life and supported each other through bereavments both family and pets so I thought we were on the same wavelength.
Today I mentioned that I have an appointment at the hospital for a sigmoidoscopy and after explaining what it was I confided that I suffer from Health Anxiety and was rather worried. Her response took me by surprise. I am 'one of those malingerers who fill up doctor's waiting rooms taking appointments from people who are really ill'. I should pull myself together, I am weak and plenty of people have 'real things' to worry about and on and on in the same fashion. I was very hurt that someone I thought was a friend should treat me this way.
Has anyone else had this response? I was so amazed I could think of nothing to say and felt like crying but I would not give her the satisfaction of proving that I am a spineless wimp............her words!:mad:


There are many first rules of health anxiety such as do not Google etc etc but time has shown me the most important one is never ever expect ANYONE to understand the true nature of this disorder.

Sad but true I'm afraid....for many people any medical condition that is not visable to the eye just doesn't exist.

[Janieb]

But you are ill, thats what people don't get we are all sick in some way because what we have is a kind of illness that has developed the only fortune thing is that we can work through it.

I can sympothise with you as my mom is the same, the other night she told me how pathetic I was and she just didn't know what was wrong with me I was being stupid, so did my priest at church, which I thought would be more understanding....the people who you expect to be the most understanding sometimes fall short of that expectation.

HA is a mental illness, so what is we have no visible signs of our illness but it's still something we are all suffering with, but no one can understand the sheer terror and restriction of our lives. Heck I would love to pull myself together if I only knew how. Sorry to hear about your friend at least you have NMP. I just don't mention it to people they are simply not interested.

Take care,
Janie

[worriedGrace]

Thank you for the replies. I had my sigmoidoscopy today and all they found was a little diverticulitis. By the time they called me in to do it I was like someone waiting to be hanged. Everyone at the hospital was so kind and explained everything to me and now I feel a complete idiot for getting in such a state.

This forum has been such a help to me and I feel I have made new friends who understand how I feel. Thankyou especially to Janieb for ending her messages with the 1Peter 5:7 quote. Once when I was feeling particularly desperate some years ago I wandered into a churchyard and saw that quotation on a headstone and it was a life saver.
Grace

[kimmy]

I too confided in my best friend a coupld of years ago, i told her of my anxiety and panic attacks. She told me she thought i exagerated it and it wasnt that bad, she said I was weak too and needed to pull myself together. I was absolutly heartbroken, I was so scared to tell people coz I didnt want people to think I was 'mad' which was what I was scared of!! I thought I could confide in her...after all she was a trainee nurse at the time too :( Needless to say I didnt need people like that around me and I stood up to her, we fell out and were no longer friends.

U need people to support you at them stages in life, she was my best friend and didnt.

[breeze25]

Sorry you went through that. I have a few friends that I have told and in the maint hey are supportive, My BF now and again comes up with some 'joke' like if she says your quiet today, and I mention I have a headache, she will say something like are you sure its not a tumour and laugh, well at least she makes herself laugh, I learnt to ignore it as she is fantastic in all area's.

I think my hubby struggled the most in understanding, but on some medication he had a panic attack and least knows where I am coming from on that angle.