New here

[abbybelle]

Hiya everyone

This is my first post and first time on the site, what I have read so far really helps me and lets me know I'm not alone.

I have suffered from depression for 5 years and been on citralopram (sp) for 4 of those at 60mg. The tablets really helped and I was feeling 'normal' again

Then this year we started trying for a baby actively and I was put on clomid (fertility drug) and i started coming off the anti depressants with my doctors help.

I was totally off them for a month then i started getting anxiety and REALLY bad panic attacks constantly. I couldn't go to work, couldn't eat or sleep.

The doctor restarted me on citralopram (20mg at the moment) and gave me beta blockers (propanol) and zoplicone to take occosionally.

I was doing ok and the panic attacks stopped... then my dad died suddenly 2 weeks ago without warning and I took the zoplicone every night to calm me down and let me sleep.

Now I am trying to sleep 'naturally' but i get woken up 5 times a night by panic attacks!!! I don't get them during the day just in the dead of night. They are so scary I hate them.

I don't want to keep taking the sleepers as I know they are addictive and meant to be taken occosionally but why has the panic restarted like this?!

Also the anxiety at night is awful... I'm paranoid my DH or DD will die suddenly (I guess cos of what happened to my dad) and I check they are breathing sooo many times through the night

Oh by the way i have NEVER suffered from panic attacks before... i was wondering whether this may be due to the clomid i am taking or why they started?!

Sorry for the long post- am sooo tired and got to go to work soon! Hope to speak soon XX

[pooh]

Hi and welcome along to NMP!

Im so sorry to hear about the passing of your father, this in itself will probably have generated quite a lot of stress and anx and may explain your new symptoms.

There is lots of information on the site to read that will I"m sure be of great help. There are some nice folks to talk to too and share and get support from.

Pooh x

[Lindalou64]

Hello Abby And Welcome.....i Wish Ya Well......linda

[marie1974]

hi hun and welcome im so sorry about yr dad and you will feel anxious for a while over that its normal, when my nan died 3 yrs ago of cancer i was convinced for a few months i had it too and had every symptom, but eventually it stopped. you will get lots of advice and support on here and make friends too hugs xxx

[abbybelle]

Hiya
Thanks for the replies, its nice to talk to people who understand and don't think I'm going mad :)

When I take the sleeping tablet I sleep perfectly and don't get any anxiety so It's hard not to take them, but I don't want to get addicted so will go a few more nights and hope things get better!

I took a beta blocker when i woke up as my heart was pounding and quite painful and that really helped... though it didn't stop my brain racing!

Panic attacks are horrible, and sooo scary. When I first went to see a doctor she told me to ''toughen up- it's only panic'' lol so that was a great help. I changed my doctor after than incident!

[trac67]

Hi

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

take care

Trac xx

[breeze25]

Hi and welcome, this website is fantastic and you will meet lots of nice, kind and helpful people.

[milly jones]

hi welcome to nmp

sorry to hear about ur dad

ive been down the zopiclone route and am now off them but only by taking increased citalopram, and im sleepy everyday now

its good to meet u

milly xx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Abby,

Welcome to the site. I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dad. I would imagine your panic attacks are due to your loss might be the meds too. I just don't know. You might want to call your doctor. I recently lost my Grandmother and my anxiety went sky high. Good luck with getting pregnant and I'm so glad you found us. You will get alot of support.

Many hugs,

Laura

[Nibbles]

Hi Abby and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, it sounds like that might have played a part in triggering the panics. Although it's not to everyone's tastes, Claire Weekes books are somthing I've found really helpful. She teaches you how to let panic attacks wash over you and to let them run their course.

Take care,

Mike :)

[Invierno]

Hi Abby

I am also new to this chat room and hoping to find help through chatting to others who experience the same panics and anxieties that I am suffering from.

You have my deepest sympathy regarding the loss of your dad, my dad died very suddenly two years ago and as I did not grieve at all due to circumstances, all that repressed grief is now coming out in severe panic attacks that have landed me in hospital, and a fit which has given me a painful carpet burn. I think when it is a shock as in a sudden death you feel you have had no time to realy say all the things you wanted to before their death.

I think it is good in a way that you are grieving now, hopefully your doctor will be understanding particularly given your loss.

Take care of yourself

[abbybelle]

Hiya thank you so much for the lovely replies!
It's my brothers wedding today and feeling anxious, i seem to get funny round large groups of people at the moment...

Well I had another zoplicone free night last night and could not sleep until 2am but then i slept straight through until 7am so Yay! I just watched Tv then could only go to sleep with the tv on so I could listen to that, not focus on my racing mind.

Not had any panic attacks yesterday but went for a family meal and only got through it with the helps of beta blockers.

The panic actually started in February after i started taking my first dose of clomid, the meds sorted it out mostly (apart from anxiety at night) Though trying to conceive is in itself VERY stressful if you need any fertility help.
I was panic free until after my dad died.

I actually saw the body which was not nice, first where it happened (in the bath) then in the chapel of rest, it was horrible and I will never smell lillies in the same way again!

Maybe I need to increase the citralopram dose? I saw the dr thursday and she said to stay at 20 for now and have to see her asgain in 4 weeks but I don't know if i can cope that long with the anxiety. She did say to try to come off beta blockers and to take the zoplicone VERY occasionally.

Wish me luck for the wedding, hope I don't get an attack and freak out!!

[chalky]

Hi Abbybelle,

Welcome to the Forum.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You will get loads of support and advice here.
Hope the wedding goes really well.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[abbybelle]

It went really well, but i took a sleeping tablet last night... I gave in!
I was so stressed and sooo tired and I just wanted my mind to stop racing.

I feel a bit bad I took one, but maybe I should go back to the doctors and tell her about the extent of the sleep problems?

[Lilith1980]

Hi Abby

Welcome to NMP :)

Jo xxxxx