So embarrassed and ashamed

[Zingara]

Guess who just made a total idiot of herself? Yes, that's right, I only went and chickened out! I feel so embarrassed and frustrated, especially after all the kindness and support I got from you all. I just couldn't do it. My boyfriend went on his own (we were staying with his best friend, so it didn't really matter) and now I feel like the biggest loser ever. Back to square one....

[Zingara]

Sorry, should have said, I'm talking about the weekend away I was discussing on a thread a few days ago...

[marie1974]

hi samira dont feel silly :lac: i doesnt matter theres always another time :yesyes: dont beat yourself up about it, just move on hun. if u didnt feel comfortable then u probably made the right decision and we have all done that more than once. sending u a big :hugs: and PLEASE dont worry

[Jaco45er]

Hey x Don't be silly. You didn't fell like it, so what? It's no big deal :).

There is always tomorrow, so don't feel bad, we have all ducked out now and again.

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Samira

Dont feel a fool, your're not.

I was supposed to go on a family holiday abroad last year and didnt make it.
It was the right thing to do at the time.

You will get there in the end.

DONT beat yourself up, that will only make you feel worse.

You must convince yourself that it wasnt right at the time and that you will do it.

Good luck

J

[kazzie]

Hey Sam:hugs:

At least you entertained the idea thats the main thing:)

There will always be another time:winks:

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Anna C]

Hi Samira,
I just wanted to add my support, and to say you are not an idiot and you shouldn't feel so bad.
I feel upset for you because I know exactly how this feels. A few months ago I was supposed to go to my sisters, she had just found out she was pregnant and it was just me and my other two sisters going. But I couldn't go I even had to lie as she doesn't know about my anxiety.

So I stayed home alone. I was distraught at the thought of them all celebrating and enjoying themselves without me. I cried all night I felt so angry and upset with myself I also felt guilty and ashamed and as if I was letting everyone down.

So you're really not the only one! Be kind to yourself give yourself a nice treat, you deserve it.
Take Care of yourself. Anna

[never2late]

I bet you wanted to go. Then you didn't. Then you wanted to go. Then you didn't. Don't feel badly . . . indecision is actually quite natural under the circumstances.

I also just realized that its the middle of the night now in England. Although the sun is still shining here in the USA.

Regardless of feeling badly about not going, I hope you're now in a peaceful, sound sleep (which is where I will be in a few hours). ZZZzzzzzzz :-)

[Zingara]

Thank you so much all of you, for being so nice to me! I know you're right, and I've tried to put it into perspective. Overall I've made quite a lot of progress over the last two weeks and I mustn't let this little setback ruin all that. As it happens my fella was quite happy, he had a nice time with his mate and then came back last night. We've spent today just chilling out and watching the tennis, so there's no harm done really. I'll just have to move on from it.
never2late, you are so right, I did all that vacillating...I want to go...ooh no I can't...it's awful! Anna and Jackie, thank you for sharing your experiences with me, I felt a lot less alone and less silly. Thank you Donna, Jaco and Kaz as well, you've all been lovely and supportive. I'm so glad I joined this site.

[sheba2]

Hi Samira

Please don't feel bad about not going. I've lost count of the things I've backed out of over the time I've had this problem. Some days you can face thngs and sometimes you can't. That is just the way it is. I think it is important to recognize when something is just too difficult. Two years ago I went to my fathers funeral and it was just too difficult for me. Obviously there was the natural upset from the occasion but added to that was my whole panic thing. I made myself go and have regretted it since. It knocked me back so much that I really wish I hadn't put myself through it. In the grand scheme of things not going away for a weekend is not so bad. The important thing is that you are making headway and looking for ways to get over your panics. It takes time but you will get there as we all will. We need to constantly look forwards and not dwell on things we haven't achieved. Well done for being so honest on here but take heart from the fact that we know how you are feeling and hope that with the extra support you get from people on here that you are soon feeling great again.