Very frightened new girl

[tabitha]

Hello,
I am suffering from the most awful anxiety attacks and each day is such a struggle.I have suffered with depression and anxiety for about eight years now and can't see an end to it.

It started when thing in my marriage got really bad and I couldn't cope anymore.I ended up contemplating suicide as the only way out and that resulted in my being referred to a psychiatrist and subsequently a therapist.I embarked on a course of CBT which seemed to help for a long time,I was also prescribed Seroxat and Zopiclone which I still take.

I am still married but have only just started to address the problems in the marriage as my failure to do so seven years ago resulted in my husband having an affair that lasted about two and a half years.
I am devastated by this,but do accept that I have to take some responsibility for it.

I am back in therapy but am not sure how valuable it is going to be to me because all the advice is for me to get some independence and develop a life outside my family,this seems impossible for me to do as I am paralysed by fear.I just about manage to get through each day.

Has anyone else out there experienced something similar,I would really appreciate hearing from you.
Tabitha x

[Sarah-Jane]

Anxiety and deppression is hard to get through at the best of times, and its obvioulsy made even worse when you are not getting the support and understanding from your husband, that situation in itself has knocked your self esteem and confidence and would do to anyone without the panic anxiety and depression. You both need to talk about things and work out if the marriage can be sorted out? and then if it can involve him more with how you feel and tackle this together it will help you no end and help hubby to understand what you have been and are going through. On the other side of the coin you need to try and be strong do things you want to do and enjoy doing, doesnt need to be anything huge just small at a time end up in making big changes in the long run. No woman has to depend on a man you need to be happy with yourself and learn to love yourself before you can expect the same in return. Think of your relationship as an addition to your good self and not as a drug or dependant accessorie to your life. Sorry if ive come across garbled but im sure youll understand what im trying to say. Good luck in your quest for happiness and anxiety free life. We are all here for you to give you moral support and advice.;)

Love & Hugs from Sarah-Jane xxxx

[Meg]

HI Tabitha,

Good for you for deciding to address the marriage issues and recognise that you also have responsibility within it . It seems its not too late.
Whats your husbands view on your anxiety ? Have you support from elsewhere in the family ?

**I am back in therapy but am not sure how valuable it is going to be to me because all the advice is for me to get some independence and develop a life outside my family,this seems impossible for me to do as I am paralysed by fear.I just about manage to get through each day.**

Are you back in CBT or general counselling or marriage guidance ?

If CBT helped you before it will help again and you'll probably only need a few top up sessions.

You can join a virtually free telephone CBT course at www.nopanic.co.uk. to help you onto that recovery path again.








Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[sue447]

hi tabitha,
welcome to the forum,im sure you will find good advice on here,i know i have
luv sue:)

[lin]

hi tabitha

i have just got over a really bad anxiety attack it's lasted 2mths since i have been on this site i have got loads of advice it has really helped me i am waiting to c a psychiatrist hopefully that will help even more. You will get through it its going to take time hang in there i hope the marriage side of it gets sorted u need people around at a time like this my hubby was great while my anxiety was on a high he understands about anxiety now Does your husband understand anxiety and wot its like he needs to? Its one of these illness's thats always there it can go away but come back with a vengance over the least little thing Anyway i hope u get the advice u need i have had loads since i became a member.

take care
lin xx

[kairen]

Hi tabitha.

so sorry to hear you have had such a ruff time,
if the treatment u had b4 worked im sure it wont take long for u to get back into it, Have you had any marriage guidance as well,

I do hope you find this site helpfull there are some wonderfull people here who will offer you all the help and support you need,
do hope you feel better soon, we are all here to help you xxx

kairen x

[Jan]

Hi Tabitha

Its not nice to feel as though you have noone supporting you and it doesnt help you overcome your issues. Did the problems start with your anxiety or was anxiety the result of the problems. I know that unless you suffer with the same then it is very hard to understand what it is like. If in the rare case you have someone who does try to understand and is supportive then you are very lucky.
Encourage your husband to read through some of the posts on the site and the info about panic attacks on Megs home page. You really need to address the marriage problems if you feel there is a future for you both. I do agree that you need time for yourself and a life. I understand how you feel completely, I am dependant on my husband at the moment and hate it. I am used to being independant and I feel like my life has been taken away from me. My husband thinks that it is easy to fight although generally he is supportive but doesnt understand why you cannot just switch it off. Men Huh! I know that things are difficult at the moment but in time you will take control of your life again but for now dont expect too much just try to take small steps, even if it is walking to the end of the road and back. Start small and dont expect miracles.
Good luck and remember we are all here to support and help you. Never think you are alone in this we are all with you.



Janine

[glenden]

hello. i just found this site today and i went in chat room. people very welcoming and nice. why dont you try it.[::DD]

[sal]

Hi Tabitha

Sorry you have been suffering alone for so long. Pleased you have decided to work on the marriage issues, i know it can be really hard and hurtful that he had an affair and each situation is different, but you are still together so hopefully that shows you that you have a strong bond and can work through it.

Health issues dont help but it doesnt mean you are to blame, but i know how you accept you played a part in it.

Hope you get all the help you need and can move on from this with the support of your husband and regain the happiness you deserve.

We will help you all we can.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[tabitha]

Thank you to all of you that have replied to my first post,it is so good to hear from other people with similar problems.
My husband is supportive but finds it very frustrating not to be able to solve the problem.Unfortunately he is a large part of it.Ours has been a very difficult marriage for a long time and we have survived this long,I believe,by his frequent absences on business trips.Now that he no longer travels we are together all of the time and I find it very difficult.
I am in general counselling now,it is too big an issue for just CBT.
These past few days have been a nightmare as I have been feeling suicidal and had to return to hospital to see my psychiatrist for help.
All eyes are on me at the moment!
I have three teenage children,the youngest is 18 today,they are great but I can't burden them with just how bad I am feeling.
Please keep writing to me,it helps.
Tabitha

[nomorepanic]

Hi Tabitha

Just wanted to welcome you aboard the forum.

How long are you in therapy for and is it helping atall?

Nicola

[clickaway]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Please keep writing to me,it helps</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Hi Tabitha,

I'm sorry you are going through such horrible times at the moment.

I find that being in the chatroom here helps me loads
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/lounge/chat/chat.html
Don't worry if you'd never been in one before!

Take Care



Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

[Meg]

Tabitha,

You must have thought that the marraige was worth striving to keep.
I hope you can work this out between you if you both still want to.

When children leave home the marriage changes as the roles change - it brings new oportunities but also compounds any personal differences you may have been papering over for the children.

Good luck




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...