Matty H
09-06-08, 09:38
Hi! I stumbled across these forums while trying to e-diagnose myself with some random sickness after finding white spots on my tongue. Never a good idea. Now I have myself all worked up as usual. :weep:
Anyways, my names Matt. I'm 21, and i'm from the east coast in the USA. Hope that's alright, I see the .uk in the web address and i'm not sure if this forum is UK exclusive or something. :/ Gonna shorten up my story a bit since it's 4am here and I have a class in a few hours.
During my sophmore year in high school I drank alcohol for the first time with a group of friends. Along with that I regulary drank a GIANT cup of coffee before leaving for classes in the morning. A few days after hanging with the friends I was sitting in class, overwhelmed with the possibility of failing the course for not completing a ton of assignments. I suddenly noticed I felt a bit dizzy and didn't think much of it.
Then I suddenly had some weird feeling like I was about to pass out, like my brain was shutting on and off. That's the best way I could describe it to my class and teacher, who treated me like I was insane. I asked to go to the bathroom to shake things off. I splashed some cold water on my face for a minute and paced around until I felt better. My hands were shaking uncontrollably because i'd never felt anything like that before and I was scared. After a few minutes back in class I got the feeling again, only worse. To make a long story short since I know you all know how a panic attack goes, I escaped from my high school with the nurse and security chasing me. I ran and ran trying to shake the feeling of impending doom. Everytime I stopped moving I felt worse. So I ran some more, towards a DISTANT hospital in a nearby town. I told a ton of random people on the way that I was dying and fighting for my life. Looking back on it I must've looked like someone on LSD but at the time I REALLY thought I was about to die at any moment. At that point you're pretty comfortable asking anybody and everyone to save your life and help you get to a hospital.
I found the adrenaline really helps keep your stamina up as well. I ran at least six miles towards and hospital before being picked up by police. (made a random panic driven call from a gas station payphone telling them to look for someone fitting my description.) THEY treated my like a drug addict also, they said they couldn't relate to the symptoms I was explaining. I don't blame them, but it felt like everything i'd heard a heart attack was like. By the time I hit the doors to the emergency room every part of my body was numb, I couldn't feel anything but my heart racing. I was sweating, dizzy, I felt like I was outside my own body and that it really was the end for me. I thought i'd feel safe being at a hospital but I felt like they couldn't help me either. But they promptly asked me if i was on any drugs, gave me an ekg and all kinds of other fun tests, and then gave me two shots in the rear which calmed me down pretty quick. They explained I wasn't going to die, and what I was having was most likely a severe panic attack.
After going to a psychiatrist it was agree'd upon that the coffee, stress, and coincidental addition of alcohol to my body recently were the causes for the panic attack. I suffered additional severe attacks and they put me on xanax and some anti depressant, I forget the name. I felt like the meds weren't helping, so I abruptly (and stupidly) stopped taking them altogether. I didn't want to be controlled by drugs for the rest of my life, I was determined to fix the issue on my own.
Fast forward to today, 5 or so years later, and things have been much much better. I still suffer from the occasional attack, mostly in the middle of the night, but nothing nearly as bad as the attacks from when I was in high school. Therefore i'm still diagnosed with GAD. The occasional attacks can be blamed on my constant worry and overanalyzing of every little thing. I'm a major hypochondriach, causing this general feeling of uneasiness all the time. I'm always at least a little bit anxious and I have heart palpitations frequently. But i'm glad that i'm having little to no attacks at this point, and i'm hoping that as I continue to mature and fight anxiety to it's core that some day i'll be able to live a completely anxiety free life.
Sorry for the wall of text. :blush: It's been a long time since i've told the story of my first panic attack. It's nice to find a group of people with the similar anxieties and fears. I skipped the part of the therapy where I was supposed to surround myself with people who I can relate to. So i'm hoping that I can find solace here, and that i'll also be able to provide comfort and insight to others based on my experiences.
Anyways, my names Matt. I'm 21, and i'm from the east coast in the USA. Hope that's alright, I see the .uk in the web address and i'm not sure if this forum is UK exclusive or something. :/ Gonna shorten up my story a bit since it's 4am here and I have a class in a few hours.
During my sophmore year in high school I drank alcohol for the first time with a group of friends. Along with that I regulary drank a GIANT cup of coffee before leaving for classes in the morning. A few days after hanging with the friends I was sitting in class, overwhelmed with the possibility of failing the course for not completing a ton of assignments. I suddenly noticed I felt a bit dizzy and didn't think much of it.
Then I suddenly had some weird feeling like I was about to pass out, like my brain was shutting on and off. That's the best way I could describe it to my class and teacher, who treated me like I was insane. I asked to go to the bathroom to shake things off. I splashed some cold water on my face for a minute and paced around until I felt better. My hands were shaking uncontrollably because i'd never felt anything like that before and I was scared. After a few minutes back in class I got the feeling again, only worse. To make a long story short since I know you all know how a panic attack goes, I escaped from my high school with the nurse and security chasing me. I ran and ran trying to shake the feeling of impending doom. Everytime I stopped moving I felt worse. So I ran some more, towards a DISTANT hospital in a nearby town. I told a ton of random people on the way that I was dying and fighting for my life. Looking back on it I must've looked like someone on LSD but at the time I REALLY thought I was about to die at any moment. At that point you're pretty comfortable asking anybody and everyone to save your life and help you get to a hospital.
I found the adrenaline really helps keep your stamina up as well. I ran at least six miles towards and hospital before being picked up by police. (made a random panic driven call from a gas station payphone telling them to look for someone fitting my description.) THEY treated my like a drug addict also, they said they couldn't relate to the symptoms I was explaining. I don't blame them, but it felt like everything i'd heard a heart attack was like. By the time I hit the doors to the emergency room every part of my body was numb, I couldn't feel anything but my heart racing. I was sweating, dizzy, I felt like I was outside my own body and that it really was the end for me. I thought i'd feel safe being at a hospital but I felt like they couldn't help me either. But they promptly asked me if i was on any drugs, gave me an ekg and all kinds of other fun tests, and then gave me two shots in the rear which calmed me down pretty quick. They explained I wasn't going to die, and what I was having was most likely a severe panic attack.
After going to a psychiatrist it was agree'd upon that the coffee, stress, and coincidental addition of alcohol to my body recently were the causes for the panic attack. I suffered additional severe attacks and they put me on xanax and some anti depressant, I forget the name. I felt like the meds weren't helping, so I abruptly (and stupidly) stopped taking them altogether. I didn't want to be controlled by drugs for the rest of my life, I was determined to fix the issue on my own.
Fast forward to today, 5 or so years later, and things have been much much better. I still suffer from the occasional attack, mostly in the middle of the night, but nothing nearly as bad as the attacks from when I was in high school. Therefore i'm still diagnosed with GAD. The occasional attacks can be blamed on my constant worry and overanalyzing of every little thing. I'm a major hypochondriach, causing this general feeling of uneasiness all the time. I'm always at least a little bit anxious and I have heart palpitations frequently. But i'm glad that i'm having little to no attacks at this point, and i'm hoping that as I continue to mature and fight anxiety to it's core that some day i'll be able to live a completely anxiety free life.
Sorry for the wall of text. :blush: It's been a long time since i've told the story of my first panic attack. It's nice to find a group of people with the similar anxieties and fears. I skipped the part of the therapy where I was supposed to surround myself with people who I can relate to. So i'm hoping that I can find solace here, and that i'll also be able to provide comfort and insight to others based on my experiences.