What is the worst the Education Welfare Officer can do?

[thevoicewithinme]

Well guess after my being on a high for a few days it's back to reality for me.

For the first time in three weeks, I managed to take my boys to school this morning (my older son has been doing it for me lately) with the help of my sister-in-law, as I cannot go out on my own.

My boys were, about ten minutes late for school, nothing drastic, and I have explained to the school before that as I am an agoraphobic and suffer with panic attacks, sometimes it takes me more than one attempt to get them there, but in my eyes, and the school did agree with me, it's better them being late than not going!!! However....this morning was a different story.

On my arrival at the school, I took the boys aged 6 and 5 (my 10 year old made his own way there) to their respective classrooms...then I went into the school office to pay milk money etc, to be told that if the children carry on being late, then the Education Welfare Officer will be looking into it :weep: I tried explaining, yet again, about my condition but this time was not met with any sympathy and am now worrying myself sick as to what the Education Welfare Officer can do?? My sister-in-law says, that it would be a possible fine if they continue being late, and also a visit to the education offices, which I really really don't want. I am such a catch 22 situation, if I don't take them cos of my panic..then I am in trouble for that...if I take them and they are late...I am again in trouble. Some mornings I have had to have three attempts to get them there..but have done it. I cannot walk to the school so have to drive, and to be honest if I am driving, with my kids in the car and having a panic attack...I would think it unsafe...so in my eyes..it's better that they are late...and the panic is managable..if that makes sense.

Sorry if I am waffling on..am confusing myself. So much going round in my head and trying to get it out on here so that if makes sense.

Please can someone tell me what the worst the Education Welfare Officer can do please??

Kaz

[milly jones]

kaz,
u got cpn or similar? u need someone to act on ur behalf to speak for u if the school are not going to listen hun.

there will be a educational social worker attached to the school whose job is to chase up attendance.

im fairly certain that a conversation with them or the head teacher who should be a little more understanding of ur mental healthn can solve this.

as a teacher i have children who are late for school for various reasons and u need to act sensibly as the school. u are not refusing them access to school u find getting out difficult, and the busy situation etc.

quite often school secretaries etc are given general instructions for late comers, but im sure if the headteacher understood ur significant difficulties, thru the esw or someone from ur mental health team if u cant do it this situation could be rectified without the need for further action.

hope this helps a little

milly xxxxxx

[thevoicewithinme]

Hi Milly,

The thing is I don't have a CPN or anyone from a Mental Health Team to speak up for me..I am still waiting for counselling..there is up to a 12 week wait here and so far I have been waiting 6 weeks.

The Headmaster is aware of my situation, as I have explained it to him before...and like I said above, they were ok with it all,but now they seem to have had a change of heart.

I do have proof though that I am agoraphobic...i.e. my doctor can verify that and also I get DLA as I cannot go out on my own.

Kaz x

[Jaco45er]

Hiya voice

Here is what I would do. Write to them. Be pro-active instead of waiting for them to visit you, god knows the anxiety will rise if you wait.

Explain the situation in words, back this up with names of School staff that are aware of your issues.

Also, get backing from your GP that you are being treated for Agrophobia.

Do not write the letter in a way that looks like you are on the defensive, try to make it factual as possible and tell them that you want to work with them in order to overcome this issue, and you are willing to listen to all suggestions (and if you have any, put them forward) so that you can all work together to come to a compromise.

Above all don't worry. They would have to open correspondence with you, then there would be stages to what they would do, so don't start worrying they are going to do their worst, they are not.

It is in their interests (and yours) to resolve this without having to take "steps", and if you can show that you are willing to help, I am sure they will be happy to work with you on a resolution.

TC :)

Jaco

[milly jones]

sorry kaz, i wasnt much help

jaco is more helpful, well done jaco xx

good job we got nmp xx

[Jaco45er]

Milly you are lots of help as always :) What you said made perfect sense to me xx.

Jaco

[thevoicewithinme]

Milly I agree...what you said did make a lot of sense...unfortunately, as I said I do not have a Mental Health Team :mad:

Jaco, thank you also for your response....I shall be speaking with my Doctor and I shall also be contacting the Eduction Department and try and come to some understanding with them, without getting too defensive (hard especially if they are non-sympathetic).

I do, of course realise, how important it is for my children to have a good education, and since I have become the way I am now, I have worried more and more about them getting to school and soforth, but they have nearly always got there in the end, although there has been a couple of times that I have failed to get them there, and then been racked with guilt for the rest of the day.

I guess, because these people cannot see my illness, they do not appreciate how it can affect me so much with day to day things, that most people just take for granted.

Thanks again for your replies.

Kaz xx

[bottleblond]

Kaz

This really makes my blood boil. I look around me every day and see kids running around the streets when they should be at school, i see young kids out playing after 11 at night yet where is the so called intervention there? yet a damn good mum and a decent human being like you being spoke to like that because your kids are a few minutes late at time with a damn valid excuse. Grrrrrrrrr

Do as Jaco says though and contact them first, explain your situation not as a victim but the damn good mother you are. I think your doing a great job gal so don't you let ANYONE tell you otherwise.

Loads of love

Lisa
xxxxxxxxx