PDA

View Full Version : Urgent help needed - my 13 yr old son ...



smbljb
10-06-08, 19:15
Hi
I've posted here a few times for some problems I've had over the past few months but this is about my 13 year old son.

On Thursday last week I was called out to pick him up from school and he said he had a tummy bug. We kept him off ~Friday as a precaution and yesyerday, after being fine for the weekened he started to comaplin again about feeling sick. He went to school and this morning was crying again so we kept him off. He says that he has constant thoughts about killing himself and that he finds these thoughts disturbing and upsetting. He's been crying almost all day and all day I've been trying to make him feel better and we have talked quite a lot.

He said it would be easier if he wrote it down, he wrote this:

'When I finished on the toilet I looked at the tap and in my head I said if its hot kill myself and then I looked at the radiator and said the same thing it just popped up in my head, I don't want to kill myself though and it upset me
'

I really don't know what to do, so far I've asked him if it's his own voice and that he is just thinking this, as opposed to someone elses vooice telling him to do it and he said he thought it was his voice. I've also asked him if he has thought of any ways he might do it to see if he has gone any further or actually planned anything. He says that he hasn't but is scared he will. I've also explained to him that sometimes we all have thoughts that are kind of random and not really under our concious control and the difference is that we don't have to act on anything we think.

He also said that he calls us names in his head when we talk to him, swear words that also upset him.

He is still extremely upset and is still crying a lot - we're scared of leaving him alone and are both scared to death to be honest and would appreciate any help or thoughts from anyone. I'll check back regularly ...

dianes
10-06-08, 19:34
Hi

I am so sorry that your poor son is suffering with these awful thoughts. As a mother I can only imagine how distressing this must be for you all. If it was me, I would make an urgent appointment for him to see his doctor to see what he/she can advise. If he becomes too distressed tonight I would phone NHS direct or A/E and ask them for some advice. I am sorry that I haven't been much help for you. I really hope your son gets better soon, let us know how he gets on.
:hugs: :hugs: for you all.

Diane

marie1974
10-06-08, 19:35
hiya i just wanted to say i am not sure what advice i can give on this but i think mayb he has depression and do u know if he is having any probs at school like bullying? as this can make kids so ill mentally. i think u should take him to docs and explain how worried u are and see wot they say. just give him lots of hugs and encouragement and hopefully if something has triggered this it can be sorted hugs xxxxxx

smbljb
10-06-08, 19:46
thanks donna and dianes

we'll already checked out the scholl problems thing and he says nothing is rong and he doesn't know why he feels this way. he doesn't really have any problems but just seems to have become really low over the last few days. we are giving him loads of hugs and trying to get to the bottom of this. from searching on the net it seems to be quite common (http://http://www.javno.com/en/croatia/clanak.php?id=108219) but very infrequently talked about by children. i think one of the things that was so shocking was the fact that neither myself or my wife ever had any thoughts remotely like this when we were younger ...

dianes
10-06-08, 20:00
Hi again:)

I know what you mean, I am now a grandparent of four lovely kids (two boys, two girls) the eldest is 8. I have said many times to my son and daughter that I feel really sorry for parents now-a-days. There such alot of pressures on parents and kids and so many fears to deal with. There is also so much confusing advice meeted out to parents that half the time they don't know whether they are coming or going. :ohmy: We never had half of that when our kids were growing up thank god.

I hope your son feels better soon.

Diane

Tom_M
10-06-08, 20:22
The problem is smbljb that kids your sons age are exposed to all kinds of things these days that their young minds are not capable of accepting. The internet is one of the biggest problems for this, as kids can get access to all sorts of things that are intended for adults.

With all emotional problems involving children, you have to get over to him that lot's of kids think the way he does, so he doesn't feel different in anyway to other kids. The quickest way to resolve this would be for him to have something new and exciting to completely take is mind off it.

I had the exact same problem with my daughter. How I handled it was to neutralise the fears she had by persuading her that it was completely normal for her to think like she was, and lots other other kids thought the same way, and the thought would eventually go away once she stopped being scared of them. I also managed to take her mind of things by introducing her to different things that interested her and overpowered the negative thoughts.

If things don't get improve I'd ask your doctor if he could see a child psychologist though.

Tom

smbljb
10-06-08, 23:10
Thanks a lot Tom that seems like excellent advice - we're keeping him off school tomorrow so I'll make sure i take your advice.

Thanks to everyone