new member

[fran1888]

hi there new here im suffering from post trumatic stress disorder. after losing my son , ex mother in law ex father inlaw. my own mother inlaw and my wee brother just last mth. all in the space of 3 years.2 sudden, a murder and 2 who took there own lifes. all i think abot is death and dying. scared to be happy incase someone else dies.. can enyone help me? thanks for reading this. bye fran

f gill

[Meg]

Fran,

How awful for you. I'm so sorry to hear of all of your tragedies

How you're feeling is completely normal under the circumstances. I do hope you are getting some professional support and help with learning to cope with all this .

Cruse the bereavement charity provide free counselling and come to your home to see you if you could do with some additional help to what I hope you're already getting.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[alexis]

Hi Fran, how awful for you, loosing so many close people in such a short time, no wonder you are feeling bad.
You have found a wonderful site and Im sure you will get lots of help, support and advice from here everybody is so friendly and kind.
Take care.
Alexis

[fran1888]

thanks meg. yes i have seen them.but feel so very alone it is comming up for three years for my sons death on the 1st may. he was only 18 when he died suddenly. thats the hardest for me me to understand. my brother was only 37 we buried him the day after his 38th birthday.he hung his self because he fell out with his partner. he left behind two small boys ages 2 and 4. he was always laughting we dont understand why he done it.. but thank you for your reply. bye fran

f gill

[florence]

Hi Fran

So sorry to hear about your big loss, no wonder you feel so bad, you poor thing.
Hopefully you'll get all the support you need.
Best wishes.
Florence. x

**See the world more as what it is, less as what you are.**

[Meg]

Fran ,

Keep seeing them along withany counselling your GP can provide you with. You need all the support that can be mustered right now.

It is so hard to understand and come to terms with why people die young especially those who do take their own lives.

You may never know what really were the circumstances he was facing and how that affected him.

Facing our childrens deaths before our own is something that no parent thinks they will have to face and it is the hardest thing.

I am so sorry you've had such a bad run. Do you have other children and support from the rest of your family ..






Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[fran1888]

Yes meg ive got another two sons and three daughters. and three grandchildren. I no they will be here for me but brian was my second born. Now there is a bit of me missing. Part of the jig saw gone so im not whole if i can put it that ways so you no what i mean.I have three children still at home .My oldes son and daughter have there own home but they are here at mines most of the time. My husband is good aswell he says i need to change my way of thoughts. think pos not neg i do try but my son and brother are buried just over the road for me .just look out my window and you see the cemetry. any how thanks again for posting to me. bye fran

f gill

[maxine]

Hello Fran,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss , it's hardly suprising you having such a rough time after dealing with so much tragedy.
Try and persevere with any counselling you are offered it really does help to talk to someone about all the things you are going through.

Feel free to email or pm me anytime if you need to talk.

Take care

Maxine

[nomorepanic]

Hi Fran

Welcome to the site. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. It must be very hard to come to terms with so many losses in such a short space of time.

We are all here if you need to talk at any time.

Nicola

[kairen]

Hi fran,

so sorry to read about your losses, my heart goes out to you on this one i had 4 close deaths last year, and death is one of the things that has always set my anxieties of from a very early age, no words could ever describe the pain of losing a child, it must be unbearable,

Take all the help that is offerred to you and ask for more if you feel its not enough, It's good you still have the support of family around you, but sometimes its good to talk to other people, you will get loads of help on this site, there is always someone here to listen, i do hope this site helps you after all you have been through,

take care xxx

kairen x

[jude]

Hi fran,

Its impossible for me to understand how you are feeling, but my heart is crying for you,

Give yourself time to heal, cry when you need to and don't expect too much of yourself.

Jude x

Be gentle with yourself....you just need some time to heal.

[kate]

Hi Fran,

So very sorry to hear of your terribly sad losses.

Love Kate x

[Jan]

Hi Fran

I am so terribly sorry to hear of your losses. I can sympathise with you totally regarding your son as i lost my daughter 9yrs from a brain tumour. She was only 19 mths so barely had a life. There is no rhyme or reason for it we have to try to accept it as much as we can no matter how difficult. I have to console myself knowing that she was too good for this world but I will see her again. I know that it is difficult regarding your brother it must be a terrible thing to get to the point of no return. My sister took an overdose last year but thankfully she was ok and realised what a silly mistake she had made. It was because of a man similar to your brother. I weep more for the children he has left behind, I dont understand how someone can do that knowing that they are leaving children without a parent. I have thought about doing it so many times but it devastates me thinking of never being with my children as they grow up.
Everything you are feeling is so natural but you must try to remember all the good times and things that happened and try not to dwell on their deaths too much. I found that I dont get so upset when a grandparent dies or an older person as to me this is the right order of things and is how things are supposed to be, as long as there is no suffering. It is such a tragedy when a younger person dies as it just doesnt make sense. I know that you dont feel having the cemetery across the road as comfort but please try to look on it as that. You can just walk across the road at any time of the day and go and talk to them in privacy without anyone else listening.You can cry scream get angry at the unfairness of it all. Try to do that. Try to release some of the emotions that you have. It is ok to be angry I am sure you have alot of that inside you.
Be comforted by your other children,your son and brother and in fact all your relatives live on through your children and grandchildren and your nephews. They will be your comfort through all of this. If only I could tell you that the pain goes away eventually but I can't all I can say is that you just learn to put it away and it only comes out when you want it too or something triggers a memory.

My heartfelt thoughts to you at this time and I wish you comfort and healing. Keep talking to the counsellors they will help and it helps to keep talking.



Janine

[Karen]

Hi Fran

Welcome to the forum and I'm so sorry to hear about your losses.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[fran1888]

Jan thanls.Im so sorry to here about you little girl and yes i think my loss and your loss are in a better place. And i have thought about it aswell but my children and my grandchildren need me here.Ino my son and brother are watching over me.But i still hurt and yearn for my son. is this normal? one of my grandduaghters are so much like brian they same hair the same sweet face it gives me so much plesure looking at her. but i get scared and every time they turn not well i thing the worst. scared to let my youngest son out he is going on 13 incase some thing happens. Do think this is normal? sorry for bothering you. bye fran

f gill