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TidusRawlings
12-06-08, 03:05
Hi All,

PLEASE ONLY READ IF YOU ARE A MAN.....

Since joining NMP I have got a few things off my chest and am already starting to feel better thanks to all your support. The only other thing that bothers me at the moment (and this is really embarissing) is before I started taking my meds I used to be able to last in bed say 15 - 20 mins but since i have been taking them it all seems to be over before 5 mins!!! I am 25yrs old and take olanzapine 5mg 1 a day, Fluoxatine 20mg 1 a day, Buspirone 5mg 3 a Day and Propananolol 80mg slow release 1 a day.

When in bed i seem to be more "sensitive" while making love. Is this a normal thing? I am worried because me and my ex split up a year ago she was with me when i started these meds and it never bothered her, but recently i have had a few girls want a relationship with me but I am too scared because I dont want them to want sex and me let them down I really don't know what to do i just dont feel like an healthy 25 year old all the other men i know my age are out there having fun but I am just so worried about it, and I can't talk about it with any of them because I have always been know as one of the "guys" and i am sure they will all take the mickey. Is it the meds?, Is it me? I really don't know

Bill
12-06-08, 04:29
Oh, That!!!:winks: It's been so long I've forgotten what that part of me is normally used for!!!:ohmy:

I'm afraid to say it's probably because of the medication but you're lucky because some medications have the opposite effect of stopping a man being able to function altogether!!!:scared15:

JennyW
12-06-08, 09:36
How could I not read :blush: and I'm sorry you're feeling miserable about this.

I'm no expert but I'm sure that by stressing yourself out about this is making things more worse than the meds themself. Is "loss or lack of libido" a side effect of the meds? I know it's embarrassing to talk about to your friends etc, but what about speaking to your GP?

milly jones
12-06-08, 11:08
loss of libido is certainly a side effect of some meds

on the other hand my side effects mention inability to lose erection too

anx effects all our bodies in different ways too, and the more u worry about it the more it becomes a fear.

i know its hard to relax when busy, but the more u think about it the bigger the worry will become

i know im a woman too but dont tell me u guys dont look at womens only posts lol

its all part of our illness and we all want to help each other

from a womans perspective if i loved a guy then i would do all in my power to support him and help as much as possible. most of all i would ensure him that i loved him no matter what. relationships are more about emotional connection, not physical necessarily as important, for me anyway.

talk frankly to ur gp mate and use nmp for any probs

were all here to help, honest

hope u dont mind me replying

with love

millyxxx

andie73
12-06-08, 11:30
Hi

Sorry I read this too, couldn't help it. It's definitely nothingto feel embarrassed about. Forgive me if I've read it wrong but I think we are talking about something other than the loss of libido. More like lack of longevity??? Well honestly don't worry if you can. I'm married and take it from me this is not something that is restricted to anxious men or men on anti d's. It is just what happens sometimes. The more you pressurise yourself then the more likely it is to get worse.

I'm goona get embarrassed now but there are contraceptive products that will help things last longer...durex do a product caled performa that may help.

If your girlfriend

Bill
12-06-08, 15:31
Sorry, I keep picturing all the blushing ladies now :blush: who can't resist a peek when they think no ones looking!:D

I don't take any meds anymore and one of the reasons I stopped was because I got so fed up with the side-effects because they made my anxiety Worse!

I can remember some which removed any libido and particularly Seroxat that completely disabled my tools which was a really frightening and disturbing experience.

It's also true to say that the more anxious we feel, the more unlikely we are to be about to control functions just like "accidents" can happen when we suddenly feel terrified!

The most important thing to remember though is that the act can take a few minutes but love can last a lifetime beyond the point when the act becomes an impossibility. To a loving partner, it's not how long the act lasts but how long the love lasts because then 5 or 20 mins becomes unimportant.

By the way, my father used to work for a condom firm. He took me to see them being produced. The 2 things that stick in my memory are the moving metal "cows udders" being dipped and peeled, and the overpowering smell of ammonia!:D Just those thoughts can help to hold back!

Trixie
12-06-08, 16:59
I wasn't blushing when I read it (who has ever heard of an embarrassed nurse?:D) But I did reply by PM.:)

Cathy V
12-06-08, 17:32
I notice that Tidus hasnt replied yet...poor bloke was expecting more men to help him i think. hope he's ok and not too embarrassed or anxious to respond to all the replies from the ladies! :D

Cathy xxx

Franz
12-06-08, 17:55
Um... If you think you're going to get lucky, why not have a "DIY" session earlier in the day? I used to find that helped, before I went on medication, and in the days where I actually had a sex life to worry about.

eeyorelover
12-06-08, 18:49
Sorry, I keep picturing all the blushing ladies now :blush: who can't resist a peek when they think no ones looking!:D

I don't take any meds anymore and one of the reasons I stopped was because I got so fed up with the side-effects because they made my anxiety Worse!

I can remember some which removed any libido and particularly Seroxat that completely disabled my tools which was a really frightening and disturbing experience.

It's also true to say that the more anxious we feel, the more unlikely we are to be about to control functions just like "accidents" can happen when we suddenly feel terrified!

The most important thing to remember though is that the act can take a few minutes but love can last a lifetime beyond the point when the act becomes an impossibility. To a loving partner, it's not how long the act lasts but how long the love lasts because then 5 or 20 mins becomes unimportant.

By the way, my father used to work for a condom firm. He took me to see them being produced. The 2 things that stick in my memory are the moving metal "cows udders" being dipped and peeled, and the overpowering smell of ammonia!:D Just those thoughts can help to hold back!

I admit freely that I read this!
No blushing here :)
We are all sexual beings by nature and being willing to admit that fact can I give a woman's perspective on this?
Number one the act itself altho quite pleasurable, isn't what does it for a woman anyway!
It's the foreplay that is the best part of sex.
Women crave intimacy.
The holding, kissing and the like is what woman are attracted to.
Although the inevitable penetration is great - don't get me wrong - it isn't the end all be all that men make it out to be.

And might I add that after being married for 20 years my hubby taking the time and energy to give me a back rub or foot massage is pretty great too!!
LOL

milly jones
12-06-08, 19:02
hey great answer eeyorelover, well put

milly xx

TidusRawlings
12-06-08, 19:30
Thanks for all your replies, I booked an appointment with my GP tomorrow just going to get it of my chest with her lol. I notice there was a post with regards to something Durex sell, I might have to look into that. I will post again tomorrow and let you know what GP said.

Thanks Again

Trixie
12-06-08, 19:32
Our thoughts are with you.:yesyes:

SueBee
12-06-08, 22:24
i'd much rather i felt loved, cherished and appreciated than having a 10 hour sex session. you men worry too much and women arent as complicated or demanding as you think!!

good luck!

Tom_M
13-06-08, 00:31
Go on Clomipramine antidepressants, they are prescribed for premature ejaculation. Too high a dose though, and you'll never reach the finishing line:blush:.

Tom

Bill
13-06-08, 01:10
Women crave intimacy.
The holding, kissing and the like is what woman are attracted to.

Ermmm, Really???:wacko: ..........Not according to my wife!:lac: but I know it's not her fault because of her illness.

i'd much rather i felt loved, cherished and appreciated than having a 10 hour sex session. I agree........but...........Number one the act itself altho quite pleasurable, isn't what does it for a woman anyway!
It's the foreplay that is the best part of sex.........it must be heaven "giving" 10 hours of love And foreplay to a woman who appreciates!:flowers: A perfect distraction from anxiety for both halves too!:hugs:

never2late
13-06-08, 02:01
Hi All,

PLEASE ONLY READ IF YOU ARE A MAN.....



An evening of intimacy begins long before the lights go out. Actually, it starts when you first say "hello". Believe me, there are plenty of options for pleasure before you need to worry about your current 5-minute limit. She'll be knocking on YOUR door. :winks:

AtmoLav
13-06-08, 08:48
women arent as complicated or demanding as you think!!


Yeah, like, urm, whatever....

I suspect this has nothing to do with your meds I'm afraid. What can happen is that for whatever reason (normally cos you're just mega turned on) you might blow a little early once, then you wonder why, then next time you put more pressure on yourself and get a little anxious, then it happens again, then you're stuck in a loop....

I've had similar issues before :doh: :doh:so I know it sucks. Here's some tips...

1) Try and forget about it. Who cares anyway? There's that old joke....Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care :roflmao:Seriously though, just make the foreplay last ages, go for a little diving trip - that normally does the business for me
2) Have a couple of beers (but not too many) beforehand
3) Try and change the way you think from "oh my god I must not mess this up" to "Yes! I'm gonna have sex and I'm gonna enjoy it!"

And dude, more than anything else- don't begin avoiding it. You find the right girl, she won't care. You find the wrong girl, she does care but you don't cos she's the wrong girl and at least you had a good time...

TidusRawlings
15-06-08, 00:43
Hi All,

I went to the Doctors In the end and she reccomended that I incease my Fluoxatine to 40mg as that may help, she also explained something called the squeeze technique that may help as well, so am feeling a little more positive now. Thanks for all your replies hopefully I will be able to improve things now.

Trixie
15-06-08, 10:41
Hi All,

I went to the Doctors In the end and she reccomended that I incease my Fluoxatine to 40mg as that may help, she also explained something called the squeeze technique that may help as well, so am feeling a little more positive now. Thanks for all your replies hopefully I will be able to improve things now.


See, I told you that it wouldn't hurt.:yesyes:

chris670
15-06-08, 11:28
I know how worrying it must be for you and you must feel very awkward fearing what might or might not happen.
Of course the more you worry the more difficult it will be for you.
In any relationship people sometimes like to take things easier and if your girlfriend understands that things are difficult for you than I am sure she will be understanding. You don't have to dive in, men and woman can enjoy each other by touch, soft and gentle rather than just dive in excuse the pun.
You can of course get help with this as you can be prescribed cialis which is similar to viagra, unfortunately unless you have a heart condition you have to pay for it on a private prescription.
I wouldn't say for MEN ONLY to read your message as i am sure that alot of the ladies that use this website will be able to give you reassurances from a woman's perspective.

Krakers
15-06-08, 12:25
Hi Tidus - I'd certainly put it down to the medication, and it might be worth checking the potential side effects info supplied with each med to try and detect the offender. That way you may be able to discuss an alternative with your doctor.

I certainly wouldn't rush out and buy Viagra without seeing your GP first, as its side effects may cause you problems too. Also taking a med to fix a med is never a good idea, and its unlikely you'll get the info with them if you bought them off the black market as most men who use them do.

I've been on over 30 different meds to date, and I think practically every one has had the potential to affect my performance. Only a couple have though, and its either been a loss of libido (no fun at all) or not being able to finish once I've started which is even more frustrating than not starting at all.

I think two of the worst side effects I've seen on my meds were :

1 An overly hard and painful sustained errection
2 Spontaneous ejaculation

Fortunately I didn't suffer from either of these, but both could be very embarassing if you were in the middle of Tescos doing your shopping.

If you decide that you don't want to discuss this with your doc, I can only suggest more foreplay. Sorry if this sounds crude, but I find fingers and thumbs can be appreciated just as much as the act itself.

Krakers.

Bunty
15-06-08, 12:42
ok, slight embarrassment but here goes.....

Sex? I think I remember what this is...something in the past is coming back to my memory... It's been such a long time if I'm ever with a man again in that situation I'll probably point and say something like 'you want to put that where?'

To put it bluntly,(and this has been confirmed by many women) as long as the woman climaxes through foreplay most women won't care how long the other bit lasts....

Even the ladies on the programme 'Loose Women' were saying this the other week!
Take care and try not to worry.
Buntyx

milly jones
15-06-08, 16:18
could i just point out that i think nmp members are wonderful and the most supportive understanding friends we could all have

it doesnt seem to matter what the worry is there are always friends to offer guidance and empathy

thank you for all your kindness

milly xxx

BeltaineInchy
15-06-08, 20:17
Sorry if this sounds flippant. I tend to treat things light heartedly. Doesn't mean to say I don't understand what anxiety is and feels like.

I am suprised that some of you nosey women haven't pointed something out. Would you really want someone who can last longer than 15 minutes?
I'm not an expert on women, my experience is somewhat limited, however I most certainly am THE expert on one woman and I can honestly say that if I was 'on the job' with her for 15 minutes she would start reading a book (probably after about five) and tell me to let her know when I was finished.
Actually, if I was 'on the job' for 15 mins I would either die of exhaustion or have a PA because I thought I was going to.

The "lasting at sex" anxiety is about as common as size anxiety and both are irrelevant. From reading it seems most women (80% according to Cosmo)find it far harder to orgasm through penetration than external manipulation, hell you don't even need a willy for that! With stats like that then when it comes to sex a willy is just there for show, our pleasure, and making babies!

Statistically, believe it or not, men average 5 1/2 inches and last just under FIVE minutes (and for you ladies the French, on average, are the largest men in the world (or is that biggest liars?), Pakistanis the smallest (or most modest)). If you are better in either department grats, but remember that if it was just down to size and stamina then we could be replaced tomorrow by a bit of plasticised rubber and a couple of batteries.

My advice is get hold of a book called "How to make love to the same woman for the rest of your life". I don't think it's supposed to be as funny as I found it, but certainly it has some good tips :) and applying some of the stuff changes love making to just that. Then it doesn't matter even if it doesn't make it out of your undies ...

Remember: the meal before hand, the tender words, the massage, the curl up in front of the fire together, the chocolate and wine, and the thirty mins foreplay are for her. The five minutes jiggling up and down on top are for you.

Inchy (the wanabe luuurve guru)
...
/|\

PS. Once tried tantric sex and fell asleep. Mrs Inchy wasn't pleased.

martbarr
27-01-10, 14:44
See, I told you that it wouldn't hurt.:yesyes:

Depends how hard you squeeze !!!!!!!

Anxious_gal
28-01-10, 04:47
This might be an obvious suggestion, but you can get those Durex condoms that help you last longer, I think they are thicker, they decrease your sensation.

steven67
28-01-10, 18:25
as you talking about sex, well if wanted sex now i would need 2 things a A-Z AND A GPS mate to find it ,ha,ha,ha :D:D:D:D

BigDaz
03-02-10, 10:30
This thread's 2 years old.

Greenman50
02-03-11, 20:51
Statistically, believe it or not, men average 5 1/2 inches and last just under FIVE minutes .



Yea i,m about average then .

























If i fold it in half :roflmao:

mtatum4496
02-03-11, 22:29
Tidus, while it can be distressing to only go five minutes or so when you are used to going twenty or so minutes, the good news is that the medication is not preventing you from enjoying intercourse. With some meds, libido is adversely impacted. So count it lucky that the issue is one of longevity and not one that leaves you sidelined altogether.

Assuming that you need to stay on the medication for awhile, see this as a season to explore other ways of satisfying your partner. Simply put, there is not a five minute limit on your hands or your mouth, and both your and your partner may find those activities to be quite a lot of fun.

Right now, you feel under pressure to perform in a very specific manner. Relax a bit and broaden the repertoire a little and you may find that both of you get what you want from the experience.

mtatum4496
02-03-11, 22:34
Woops, I just caught onto the fact this thread is two years old :blush:

Well, the issue should have resolved itself one way or the other by now...