DarkRose
12-06-08, 13:28
Another newbie here :D
I actually joined the forum a few months ago, but hadn't got around to posting yet - sorry, but I've just had a lot of stress the past few months, but I think it's mainly sorted out now :)
Anyway, my story :
I'm 31, married with one daughter and hail from the West Mids.
I think I've had social anxiety for about 20 years, but everyone including me just thought I was shy. It wasn't even really that bad up until 6 years ago, when my dad passed away quite suddenly. My mom was left in a mess financially and I then got myself into a mess helping her out, which led to stress and depression, which in turn led to comfort eating. As a result, I put on loads of weight (about 6 stone in 3 years), lost all of my confidence and self esteem, and practically became housebound through agoraphobia, after walking out on my job. Most of the weight piled on after this in fact, due to just sitting around the house all day, eating and drinking alcohol, so the whole situation just spiralled. Because of my poor finances, I also spent my time living in fear and hiding from any callers at the door, as it was usually bad news..........I know that ignoring them just made things worse, but I just couldn't deal with it at the time, it was so embarassing and humiliating.
I also lost friends because I just withdrew and distanced myself from them, not keeping in contact :sad:
I did go to my GP with depression about 5 years ago, but I didn't get much sympathy, and was in and out in 5 minutes with a prescription for Cipralex - which I didn't take because I honestly felt it wouldn't really help and I didn't want to end up dependant on anti-depressants.
I did receive a letter from the mental health unit a while after, but of course my social anxiety, the lack of understanding I'd received from my GP and the embarassment of the whole situation stopped me from going to see them.
In the past 18 months, I have managed to sort out my financial situation and have trained myself to cope a bit better in social situations, plus I have managed to shed a couple of stone, just by sheer determination because I want my daughter to have a happy and normal life.
However, I'm still reluctant to answer the phone or the door and quite frequently have panic attacks (stomach in knots, shallow breathing).
I would like to have counselling, or CBT, or something, but I still feel unable to go and ask for help - plus, I'm concerned that they'll just stick me on meds :scared15:
As well as all this, I have always had a phobia of blood and veins - that's when I get the really bad panic attacks and have almost fainted on more than one occasion. I would have liked to have been a nurse, but I can't even watch Casualty on the telly. This phobia has affected my life so badly sometimes, I've even considered suicide. Anyone else have this?
Sorry for the essay :blush:
I hope that by joining NMP and telling my story that I can give hope/support as well as receive it from others here who have been in/are in a similar situation, as I don't know about the rest of you, but I still have a long way to go................
I actually joined the forum a few months ago, but hadn't got around to posting yet - sorry, but I've just had a lot of stress the past few months, but I think it's mainly sorted out now :)
Anyway, my story :
I'm 31, married with one daughter and hail from the West Mids.
I think I've had social anxiety for about 20 years, but everyone including me just thought I was shy. It wasn't even really that bad up until 6 years ago, when my dad passed away quite suddenly. My mom was left in a mess financially and I then got myself into a mess helping her out, which led to stress and depression, which in turn led to comfort eating. As a result, I put on loads of weight (about 6 stone in 3 years), lost all of my confidence and self esteem, and practically became housebound through agoraphobia, after walking out on my job. Most of the weight piled on after this in fact, due to just sitting around the house all day, eating and drinking alcohol, so the whole situation just spiralled. Because of my poor finances, I also spent my time living in fear and hiding from any callers at the door, as it was usually bad news..........I know that ignoring them just made things worse, but I just couldn't deal with it at the time, it was so embarassing and humiliating.
I also lost friends because I just withdrew and distanced myself from them, not keeping in contact :sad:
I did go to my GP with depression about 5 years ago, but I didn't get much sympathy, and was in and out in 5 minutes with a prescription for Cipralex - which I didn't take because I honestly felt it wouldn't really help and I didn't want to end up dependant on anti-depressants.
I did receive a letter from the mental health unit a while after, but of course my social anxiety, the lack of understanding I'd received from my GP and the embarassment of the whole situation stopped me from going to see them.
In the past 18 months, I have managed to sort out my financial situation and have trained myself to cope a bit better in social situations, plus I have managed to shed a couple of stone, just by sheer determination because I want my daughter to have a happy and normal life.
However, I'm still reluctant to answer the phone or the door and quite frequently have panic attacks (stomach in knots, shallow breathing).
I would like to have counselling, or CBT, or something, but I still feel unable to go and ask for help - plus, I'm concerned that they'll just stick me on meds :scared15:
As well as all this, I have always had a phobia of blood and veins - that's when I get the really bad panic attacks and have almost fainted on more than one occasion. I would have liked to have been a nurse, but I can't even watch Casualty on the telly. This phobia has affected my life so badly sometimes, I've even considered suicide. Anyone else have this?
Sorry for the essay :blush:
I hope that by joining NMP and telling my story that I can give hope/support as well as receive it from others here who have been in/are in a similar situation, as I don't know about the rest of you, but I still have a long way to go................