View Full Version : New to this and needing support
Sue K with 5
17-04-05, 01:11
Hi
I have suffered from panic attacks, agorophobia and OCD for over twenty years now, I only actually gave into it though 2.5 years ago when I had my last child and thought I was going out of my mind, I was unable to barely lift my head off the pillow and the night panics and the panic attacks when I tried to even go shopping were horrific, for a while I beleived the medication work, I was not as depressed but the panic attacks worsened and my life became a shell of its former self, I stopped going out I even stopped contacting friends, i became almost reculsive and had convinced myself I was dying, its, not much better now, but I have just learnt to accept it, instead of getting depressed about leaving the house i have just accepted it, the thing is I have a fear of death, dying and contamination, so i cannot even got to a restaurant without thinking the worse, yet I can pick up a phone and work most days and my husband has now become my full time carer, he also looks after our youngest daughter. For years I coped without support and help and I could go to work and take my children on holidays, how does it go from that to this in such a short period of time? I love my family but I am considering leaving them so that they can have a normal life and I am quite prepared to walk away, just so that they can find happiness and normality in their lives, my 8 year old daughter thinks i am a freak!!! please help
scknight
Hello Susan,
Panic turning into agoraphobia happens to a significant proportion of people as they associate having panics with places they are and then start to avoid those places .
Once you recognise and accept that the panics are created from within yourself and thus are possible anywhere. you transfer your fears away from places and start concentrating on altering the things within you which create them and you can start to really progress.
If you are agoraphobic then the telephone course at www.nopanic.co.uk is very helpful.
Try reading all these and see what you can glean from others experiences
First Steps : First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)
Thoughts : Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=283)
More thoughts : Mind Games (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1789)
Thoughts: obsessive thoughts & anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3096)
Creeping fears : Has anyone else felt this symptom? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3080)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi Susan
Welcome to the forum. You do not have to simply accept your current situation and in posting here you have taken the first step towards working on these issues. You can recover although it does take hard work and determination.
You'll find a lot of help and support here.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Hi Susan,
I'm glad you found this site as I believe it can be really useful to you.
I hope you are able to hang on in there. Please think really hard about leaving your family, as I believe they give much more support than you realise.
As your children grow older, they will understand and their support will grow.
And without them, you really will be an island.
Take Care,
Ray
Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker
Hi Susan, I agree with the others, I believe you have found the perfect sight, everybody is so helpful and friendly and it makes you realise you are not alone.
I am in a similar position to you but on a much lesser scale. I have only recently accepted that its OK to feel like this. I always said it would be easier having a broken arm at least that can be seen.
I thought about leaving my husband and family because I thought it was easier than telling them exactly how I feel and burdening them but then my councellor said that was unfair because Id taken that decision upon myself and not given them the option to help and support if you understand what I mean.
My family are older so I suppose in a way its easier to explain but it is still difficult for them to see and understand.My son has just returned from uni and my daughter is in her 2nd year at uni, they both said with being away and coming home occasionally they could see a big difference in things when they came home, my daughter used to call me an alien from another planet.
I know it is harder because your family is younger.
Try and stay strong, take all the advice offered and read the posts on this site,
Take care, love Alexis
Hi Susan,
Welcome to the site.
I'm 100% sure that your family would much rather they had a panicking wife/mom than one who wasn't there at all.
Are you receiving any treatment at the moment?
Love Kate x
Hi and welcome this is a great site and u will find it will help u .
wish u all the best
hi susan
welcome to the forum u will gets lots of help and advice they r a good bunch of people i have found the forum very positve and i am getting myself better slowly as i suffer anxiety/panic attacks.
take care
lin xx
Hi Susan really sorry how you feel but believe me we have all been there at different times and you have suffered a long time, but believe me and believe in yourself it will get better I know I have given up lots of times as I have suffered over 40 years too. But when I look back I have had good times to. Keep thinking positive and do regular relaxation and keep telling yourself you are healthy well and happy. It sounds stupid but don’t give up you will get better, you are a very special person/mother and wife, down look down on yourself and believe me your kids really love you and it would really upset them if you did leave. Come on here whenever you feel down even come into our chat room at night, there is always someone there after 8 to 8 30pm. the link is.
http://nmp.g7jgq.co.uk/default.asp?t=chat
Hope to see more of you and hope you feel better soon. Vernon
Hiya Susan
Welcome to the site.:D:D
Take care
Maxine
Susan,
following on from Vernon's post, the address of our chat room has recently changed. It is now
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/lounge/chat/chat.html
I hope you are able to come on!
Ray
Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker
Hi susan,
I do hope in finding this site you realise that your are not alone. and many people feel the same as you, we are all here to help in any way, read the welcome page, if you have not already done so, and other peoples posts it will help you see you are not alone here, you will get all the help and support you want, take as much help as is offered and if that is not enough ask for more you can get through this,
take care i do hope you find some comfort in this site
kairen x
nomorepanic
17-04-05, 17:26
Hi Susan
Just wanted to say Welcome aboard the forum. I think Meg has given you some good topics to read through so have a read then let us know if you have any more questions etc.
Nicola
Hi Susan, I myself have had, and still get thoughts like yours. It's a living nightmare. Without the support of my family and friends I would still be hiding away in the bedroom feeling depressed/anxious/edgy... to name but a few.
I started shouting at my kids, arguing with my husband, falling out with my GP and a whole lot more.
I would pop any pill my GP gave me, and as soon as I felt "not right" I was off for a lie down.... NOT a good idea.
Get your family rallied round. EXPLAIN how you feel, talk to people closest to you and tell them the truth. My family apart from my husband and kids just don't know what I've been going thru. You need to explain to eveyone how you feel/think/respond to news/bills/arguements, and above all... take time out to relax.
my husband has had "panick attacks" also. It was when he was working offshore on the Oil Rigs. He was in his 20's and didn't even realize what was going on. He would get dizzy whilst working, jump-up when falling asleep etc etc.
He told me he simply gave into it and thought, "if my times up, it's up"
Didn't help much with me until I gave it some thought. Can't really be me, it's just the way my thoughts run. After all, if he coped... with his job... I convinced myself I could do it at home. I'm slowly getting there.
Just in case your asking what he does for a living... visit:
http://www.multiaccess.co.uk
All he advised was, STOP, close your eyes, concentrate on breathing relaxed and slowly and give yourself 5 to chill and calm down. If your at home, sit with some relaxing music you like and forget the dailly hum-bug. DON'T open "hate mail" 1st thing in the morning and try to eat a small breakfast. If not, this will slowly drain you during the day and you end up as I did. Stomach problems with too many pills and not enough food, sleep and fun time with my kids.
i am still finding it hard, but I know with this support.... I'll get there one way or another.
Take care....
f gill
hi suzan i just joined this site and i was like you but i found dr claire weekes books and i bought the audio tapes that are advertised in the back of the book. these gave me so much hope and made me determined not to let it win. all she says makes perfect sense and its such a comfort to know that YOU CAN RECOVER. now when i am having a bad day, i take my walkman and listen to it. in the car and shopping. it helps me settle back down and find strength. good luck with it all.x
Hi there and welcome
As everyone has said you will find lots of support here and people really do understand what you are going through, i too, have suffered for many years (not all bad), don't give up now, it is a long hard battle but it can be done, and please do not walk away from your family, they love you as much as you love them, and walking away would be a disaster,keep in touch. take care.
Hi Susan
You have had such a hard time, and the topics Meg has given you i hope give you some hope.
Dont think about walking away from a family who love you and think how your children will react in future life feeling their mother abondonded them. I know you would be doing it for their best interests in your mind but in theirs it will be the last thing they think.
They need a mum and however ill you are they still love and need you. You can get through this and trust me at times i know how hard it is and i have wanted to walk away from my daughter and let her dad and girlfriend make her happy, but that wouldnt solve the problem. I would still have felt as ill and also made my daughter more prone to what we have suffered and as sufferers none of us want that.
I really hope we can help you through this.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Sue K with 5
18-04-05, 02:08
Thank you all for your kind words, I find being trapped so hard, but today after having an awful start to te weekend I went out for a little walk to the beach with the children and the dog, I only stayed for about 30 mins but I drove there and I drove back and it felt good to be out, but tonight I am suffering for it, I sleep a lot during the day because i find sleeping at night unbearable, i have night attacks so I tend to stay awake until about 3ish when I feel I can no longer stay awake, then I am up and even if I have about 9 hours sleep I still tend to sleep during the day as well, its like having ME somedays, although my doctor has said not. I am due to start CBT as well but I have great reservations, I have spent twenty two years in counselling since I had my first attack at 14 and I have never found the answer, I just want to know why??? thats the question i ask everyday. I am intelligent, and have always been a survivor in everything so why does it have to be like this!!! I want to be normal if there is such a thing, I want to wake up in the morning and not panic at the shear thought of getting out of bed, taking the kids to school travelling on my own, all the things normal people do!! do we ever get a break
scknight
scknight
However far it seems you wll get there and it will be hard. You went out with the children today which isnt a mother that wants to leave them. I wil come right with a lot of hard work, but taking them out today shows you can do it.
Remember that hun and dont give in to this hard time.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
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