hoppipolla
12-06-08, 17:56
I guess every cloud has a silver lining! hehe Even though I have been feeling really confused today and I feel like I need a lot of advice and a loooot of hugs, it really made me feel better when i thought of posting on here again :)
To be honest, I hadn't been coming on here as often (as maybe some peeps had noticed), mainly because i kinda wanted a bit of space and to see if i could steer my life in the right direction a bit by myself. Thing is though I have ended up really confused at the moment and I just need to let it all out! hehe
ok deep breath!
I've been trying so hard recently to go traveling, that was my most recent dream, i really thought it might help me get out there, see new places.. i couldn't wait to get out of the UK as I love hot countries and cultures, and I still can't wait to leave. Thing is though, once again there was this girl I liked and once again we nearly went out (and i thought maybe i wouldn't leave for a while) and she liked me and now once AGAIN i've been hurt =(
So I dunno, now I'm really confused. I mean I've been very lonely for a long time as I've been heartbroken so much, and I feel like I've got this constant sadness and confusion inside myself, which is just not right for me as really I'm a very enthusiastic and happy person. So i just don't know what to do, i really don't :weep:
I look on the net for aaaages on like, dating sites or facebook or whatever because I really want to feel what it's like to be in a relationship again, as I really enjoy them and I don't like being single, particularly not as it's been a matter of years! I mean I've ended a couple of potential rships myself in that time too but usually because of distance.
and there's a part of me that says I should just focus and try to be happy with being single, stand up and like, feel more independent and stronger in myself, i know SO, SO many people seem to be able to do that. I just don't really want to though, i don't feel i enjoy it so much.
oh, and the traveling thing I do still really wanna do! I want to learn to spread my wings and see the world, and be in hotter countries where i can swim in the sea and live in different places and meet new friends :)
I guess that's about it really, but see my situation is I have been spending so so long online doing all these things, and I can't work out how to make them reality, and i'm scared of actually doing some of the bigger things. I feel like life is so big and scary and I don't know where to start. plus anxiety sucks.
Ok i'm gonna wrap this up hehe, but I'm so glad I'm back on here. Oh, and to bring peeps up to speed i am now living with my sister and a friend, and working in Computer Exchange.. and having regular parties and stuff which is good at least, I should be happier with what i have..
Thanks for reading (if you did), sorry it was sooo long,
Mike :flowers:
To be honest, I hadn't been coming on here as often (as maybe some peeps had noticed), mainly because i kinda wanted a bit of space and to see if i could steer my life in the right direction a bit by myself. Thing is though I have ended up really confused at the moment and I just need to let it all out! hehe
ok deep breath!
I've been trying so hard recently to go traveling, that was my most recent dream, i really thought it might help me get out there, see new places.. i couldn't wait to get out of the UK as I love hot countries and cultures, and I still can't wait to leave. Thing is though, once again there was this girl I liked and once again we nearly went out (and i thought maybe i wouldn't leave for a while) and she liked me and now once AGAIN i've been hurt =(
So I dunno, now I'm really confused. I mean I've been very lonely for a long time as I've been heartbroken so much, and I feel like I've got this constant sadness and confusion inside myself, which is just not right for me as really I'm a very enthusiastic and happy person. So i just don't know what to do, i really don't :weep:
I look on the net for aaaages on like, dating sites or facebook or whatever because I really want to feel what it's like to be in a relationship again, as I really enjoy them and I don't like being single, particularly not as it's been a matter of years! I mean I've ended a couple of potential rships myself in that time too but usually because of distance.
and there's a part of me that says I should just focus and try to be happy with being single, stand up and like, feel more independent and stronger in myself, i know SO, SO many people seem to be able to do that. I just don't really want to though, i don't feel i enjoy it so much.
oh, and the traveling thing I do still really wanna do! I want to learn to spread my wings and see the world, and be in hotter countries where i can swim in the sea and live in different places and meet new friends :)
I guess that's about it really, but see my situation is I have been spending so so long online doing all these things, and I can't work out how to make them reality, and i'm scared of actually doing some of the bigger things. I feel like life is so big and scary and I don't know where to start. plus anxiety sucks.
Ok i'm gonna wrap this up hehe, but I'm so glad I'm back on here. Oh, and to bring peeps up to speed i am now living with my sister and a friend, and working in Computer Exchange.. and having regular parties and stuff which is good at least, I should be happier with what i have..
Thanks for reading (if you did), sorry it was sooo long,
Mike :flowers: