What happened to me?

[jude]

Hello everyone,

Yesterday I had a better day than I have had over the last week.
I went to bed feeling almost normal, quite calm and fell asleep easily.

This morning I woke up and lay quite calm, even serene.

Suddenly, my right ear made a strange knocking noise, like I had a butterfly in my ear!

Striaght after, I felt as though I was moving outside of my body, floating out of it.

I rose quickly and made a cofee, the feeling still there. It was as though I was miles away from myself....terrifying.
I tried to stay calm, but failed. I ended up racing around the house, urgently trying to take my mind off it and come back into myself.

Eventually I statred to feel a bit better, but it has left me feeling woozy, shaky and not here.

Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, what happened to me?

It seems that as I accept one feeling in this illness, another comes along to scare the pants off me and shake me up.


Jude x

Be gentle with yourself....you just need some time to heal.

[kate]

Hi Jude,

My take on it is that you had the strange sensation in your ear and you panicked!

You raced round the house trying to take your mind off it but, if my experiences are anything to go by, your heart would have been racing, your mouth dry, just willing yourself to come back down to earth and feel back inside your own body.

I have had this happen SO many times over the years and have learnt to just go with it and not try to overcome it. It definately isn't easy, but if you try to sit quietly, breathing evenly, believe me it passes a lot quicker than if you try to run away from it.

I still hate the feeling, but can control it much easier now. But patience and practise is what is needed.

Hope you are feeling a little calmer now.

Love Kate xx

[vernon]

Hi jude. I get the same can be ok for weeks then sudenly get a different feeling or pain etc then i suppose we get all hyped up and the more we try to do things forget to it the more we are thingking and getting more worked up. What i try and do now when this happens is not run around and get more panic but i realy try to lay still and relax with deap breathing telling myself it some of our just working. lots of people would just ignore this, but us anxiouse people notice every little movement or working of our body? Just accept and let your body do whatever to keep us alive. One of my affermation cards read (I ACCEPT ALL MY FEELINGSAS PART OF MYSELF). take care. Vernon

[jude]

Hi Kate and Vernon,

Im just hopeless at this ignoring it thing.

I cant seem to be unafraid when things happen. I have spent the whole day worrying and feeling anxious and panicky.
I cant seem to talk any sense to myself..one minute Im thinking its just anxiety...the next it feels as though Im going totally nuts and may as well give up.

I listened to Claire Weekes tape and it all makes sense logically, but when I try to apply that logic to myself, it doesnt work.

I just seem to get deeper and deeper into this horrid dp thing and self-test constantly.
I think I may be a hopeless case[V]

Jude x

Be gentle with yourself....you just need some time to heal.

[glenden]

hi jude, do you know it sounds like the same thing happened to me last year when i was on holiday. sometimes i think that because our bodies dont know what its like to relax, when you suddenly find yourself starting to, it panics and all the feelings come back. i find its one of the worst symptoms and its very scary but if you really try and ignore it totally. it will go away. i walk around for days like it. i even drive my car and do a full days work sometimes feeling like it. but i listen to dr weekes and its like she says, its the fear of fear that makes it happen. lose the fear and you are half way there. also my councellor has told me that breathing in for 4 and out for 6 brings mind and body back together. hope this helps take care.

[kairen]

HI JUDE,

THIS MAY SEEM LIKE A STAB AT THE DARK BUT MY DAUGHTER HAD SIMILAR SYMPTOMS LAST YEAR SHE IS ONLY 7 BUT IT TURNED OUT SHE HAD EAR INFECTION AND NEEDED GROMMITS, IT'S JUST ONE THING TO RULE OUT FIRST SHE SAID HER EAR WAS TICKING ARD TO EXPLAIN FOR A 7 YR OLD BUT RULE IT OUT FIRST XXX[8)]

kairen x

[carlin]

Hi Jude,
How awful isn't it? The slightest change in our body, thats not 'normal' to us, and off we go, i am exactly the same and i know that i should sit and relax and see it through, but still, after all these years find it difficult. Also after an episode like this you will naturally feel exhausted. You are by no means a hopeless case, are not going mad and will overcome this, it will take a lot of hard work and determination, but you will, i promise. I have been told to distract myself at these times, and i must admit it does work... i used to run around shouting, crying trying to get out, but that made me feel worse, now i put the tv on, music, computor, anything, sometimes just look out of the window, anything to take my mind off of my aches, pains etc...Have a good nights sleeps and tommorow you will feel so much better.......take care

[kate]

Jude,

If you are a hopeless case, then so am I!!

I still suffer badly with depersonalisation especially when under increased stress.

When I say I can talk myself out of a full blown panic, I mean it has taken me over 20 years to do this! It isn't easy, it wont happen overnight but one day you will be able to ride it out.

I still suffer with general anxiety and bouts of depression. I still avoid things outside of my safety zone. I still feel tremendous guilt about the way my husband and children have been affected over the years. BUT, I have finally managed to have some kind of a life, albeit restrictive.

Hoping that tomorrow brings a calmer day...

Love Kate xx

[dizzyd]

Hi Jude, Just a guess but it may be that you had a loose strand of hair in your ear - the vibration of which can sound just like you describe. It amplifies against your ear drum. I get the exact same sound you describe after I have had my hair cut. It amazes me how such a tiny hair can make such an alarming sound.
I do understand how easy it is to react with a panic to any new sensation.
Take Care -
Love Dawn x

[sal]

Hi Jude

How are you feeling now?



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[jude]

Thanks for your replies everyone,

This morning I got up 'testing' to see if that horrid feeling was going to come back. Then I remembered Claires words and thought....ok, if it comes back its ok, it will go again!
It didn't.
I still feel in a dream, but then I always feel like that.

I walked the kids to school thinking....everything feels unreal.....then I thought....It will do, you havent been out for 3 days.
It calmed down and I didnt panic.

My question is, I still get shaky and faster heartbeat. Not panic, but anxiety. Will this go in time and will the deam state I am in go suddenly or slowly over time.
I cant remember how it feels to feel normal, cos I never feel normal. Will I just go back to normal without realising it or is there something I have to do??

Thanks
Jude x

Be gentle with yourself....you just need some time to heal.

[sal]

Hi Jude

Pleased you managed to get out.

I understand what you mean about not panicking but feeling anxious and being in a dream state. It will pass and you will get better days that give you the confidence to cope better with these days.

Hope today has got a bit better for you hun.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Meg]

It will go slowly over time as you relax and stop being on red alert 24/7.