I can't stop thinking...

[Kroko]

...that I'll die in the near future. I'm afraid I'll commit suicide like my sister did, or that something else will happen to me.

I just can't stop thinking about it...

I'm currently in hospital treatment and on three drugs, Xanax, Remeron and Zyprexa...I also feel guilty somehow for having to be on all these drugs, and they remind me of my sister who overdosed.

[kairen]

Hi kroko.

you will get loads of good advice on this site, there is always some one who can help you, you have been through such a lot, but never feel guilty over taking medication, if it was for a cold etc, you would not think twice, take the medication, and get as much help through this as you can,
I do hope you find the help you need to get through this
xxx

kairen x

[pips]

Hi Kroko,

Sorry you feel so bad. and sorry yo hear about your sister. we are here to help and as Kairen said don't feel guilty about taking meds they are there to help you.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Take care

Love PIP'S X

[jude]

Hiya Kroko,

Its nice to hear from you. Havent seen you here for a while.

Im sad to hear you are struggling with these awful thoughts. Having lost your sister to suicide, it is bound to affect you, but please dont despair and think that you will die or commit suicide yourself.

Saying you are afraid that you will die proves that you do not want to die, so why do you think that you will commit suicide yourself.

I hope you can stop feeling so guilty Kroko. We all feel guilt when someone dies. It is part of the grieving process. Your guilt may feel worse because your sister took her own life, but it is only natural to wonder if there was something you could have done to stop her. Stop being so hard on yourself, you could not have done anything to change things. It is time now to start looking after yourself and after giving yourself time to heal, starting to enjoy life again.

Take care Kroko

Jude x


Be gentle with yourself....you just need some time to heal.

[Meg]

Hi Kroko,

When someone takes their own life around us it is natural for us to analyse what ' tipped them over' and how close had they been and for how long and ' what if ' that were me having those thoughts- could I have changed them etc.

We all are aware of our own mortality much more for a while and when you're also struggling with a mood disorder it makes it even worse.

However you are not a mirror image of her and you have different life issues, so there is no reason why you should follow the same pattern. The fact that it makes your nervous and scared and wantv to shy away does demonstrate that it is not going to be the path you choose.

How are your parents coping with her death and is your relationship with Mum any better after you had that long talk together ?

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Kroko]

I'm not sure how my parents are coping, they seem to be ok though. Our relationship seems still rather distant.

Thank you all for your support.

[sal]

Hi Kroko

Being through what you have with your sister, you are going to ask questions, we all would, but it doesnt mean you will come up with the same answers as she did. Try to judge yourself by you and not by what she did. It cant be easy and this will have affected how you feel. But remember you yourself are an indivudual and give yourself chance to feel that.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.