Advice needed - my daughter

[Emira7]

Hi

Last night in the bath my ten nearly 11 year old daughter was talking to me. She got freaked out because she could see my veins.

Anyway obviously i have my own insecurities about death, something happening to my kids, and stuff. Well imagine my surprise and horror when my daughter started saying that she was scared to be away from me that she keeps imagining something will happen and I will get rushed to hospital. And that she thinks thoughts like that and it makes her cry.

She is also scared of veins, they freak her out. I am worried because she is showing the same trates as me with regards to worrying about dying and stuff, I don't want her to feel the same way I do every day. And worse of all I think she must feel that way because she has seen me panic.

Anyone have any advice

[Jaco45er]

Hiya lass :)

I am not overly convinced that anxiety is learnt in that way, although I know some will disagree. I do think however, that kids (especially girls) seem to have this phase of worry, going by a couple of mates who have teenage girls who both had this phase of over worry about thier mums (not the dads funny enough lol).

I would talk to her, and try eliviating her fears, and try to explain that it's just sometimes you think silly things that makes u worry. I am not calling you silly btw lol just trying to imagine how you would explain to a kid.

I remember as a kid I used to talk about death alot to my parents, in the same way I used to talk to my dad about why does a car need a clutch, I think it's just wee inqusitive minds ;).

Not much help I know but I am sure someone will have been in this position and offer better advice.

Good luck :)

Jaco

[jellybean43]

Hi
Awww I know how you are feeling as both my kids tend to be very anxious.My daughter is 25 and her anxiety has come out in many ways over the years.
When she was in her teens she had a constant headache on the top of her head and worried it was a brain tumour. This went on for years. She is very clever and she gets very anxious leading up to exams---somethimes she had to take her exam on a different day cos she made herself soo ill on the actual day.She managed to get a First in a maths degree but i dont know how as she never slept and was constantly feeling very "ill".
My son can also be anxious over things---he is 22. He has had "breathlessness, pains in chest and slurred speech". All of which the doctor has put down to anxiety. He started with this when he went off to Uni.
I dont really know what to suggest cos i think both of mine suffer with it cos i do(although as i said the HA only really started with me last October when we moved but I am naturally an anxious person).
I tend to play it down with both of them and say that loads of ppl get it and tell them to try not to dwell on it.
I know how hard it is seeing our kids like this--sending you a big hug xxx

[jodie]

hiya emira

i think what jaco sead about having a chat with her is right talk to her about it and let her know it is ok to think like that somtimes and that most kids do .
my little girl is 6 and has come out with things that has given me a shock things i never thought she would think about and i try to sit with her and chat about it in the hope she will talk to me agane if she needs to
try not to worry about it :hugs:

jodie xx

[milly jones]

hi em

i get scared that my son will get anx traits as i did from my dad.

my psychaitrist assures me that although he does get worried at times, all children do and to in his case ensure that he knows hes loved and valued no matter whether he makes misatkes or not,

so the same would follow for ur daughter, talk to her about her fears and reassure her so shes not scared and knows that lots of ppl have these problems

take care em

love

millxx